July 2011 - Monthly Archive - Results from #1710

29 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1347

The Gift of Children

A tired mom opened the front door of her home to find a young minister from the neighborhood who said, "I'm collecting donations for the new children's home we're building. I hope you'll give what yo... read more..

29 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1456

Giftedness, Encouragement

A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked out to have a talk with him. "I've figured out your problem," he told the young southpaw. "You always seem to lose control at the s... read more..

29 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1595

Lust, Sin, Perception

A Priest at a Church picnic was staring at a member of his parish wearing the tiniest of bikinis.A Nun walked over and said, "Shame on you Father, staring at that woman like that!"The Priest replied, ... read more..

29 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1531

Mistakes, Repentence, Direction

A police officer pulls over an eighty-six-year-old woman because her hand signals were confusing. "First you put your hand up, like you're turning right, then you wave your hand up and down, then you... read more..

29 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1685

Offering and Sacrifice

A pig and a chicken were walking by a church where a gala charity event was taking place. Getting caught up in the spirit, the pig suggested to the chicken that they each make an offering"Great idea!... read more..

29 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1529

Sin

A patient, while recovering in the hospital from a heart attack, met this over-zealous evangelist. After listening politely for over a half-hour on how thankful he should be to have been spared, and h... read more..

Long Weekends, Salvation, Today is the Day

29 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1444

Long Weekends, Salvation, Today is the Day

A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him in front of the service station. Fin... read more..

29 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1472

Education, Motivation

A mathematics teacher came into the faculty room after she'd been watching a basketball game. Her face was glowing. "I've got the greatest idea for teaching!" she exclaimed."What do you mean? What'... read more..

29 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1539

God's Existence, Suffering

A man went to a barber shop to have his hair cut as always. He started to have a good conversation with the barber who was cutting his hair. They talked about so many things and various subjects. S... read more..

29 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1519

Evidence

A man was stopped by a game warden in Northern Minnesota recently with two buckets of fish leaving a lake well known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch tho... read more..

29 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1559

Twins

A friend and I were shopping for dresses for her three-year-old girls to wear to a wedding. In the store, another girl staring intently at Sarah and Becky asked, "Are those girls twins?""Actually they... read more..

29 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1527

Do You Think I'll Find…?

A four-year-old was at the pediatrician for a check up. As the doctor looked in her ears, he asked, "Do you think I'll find Big Bird in here?" The little girl stayed silent. Next, the doctor took a to... read more..

29 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1561

Slow Down Therapy - Part 3

26. Take a day off alone; make a retreat. You can learn from monks and hermits without becoming one. 27. Pet a furry friend. You will give and get the gift of now. 28. Work with your hands. It frees t... read more..

29 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1470

Guide To Work Responses

1) If it rings, put it on hold. 2) If it clanks, call the repairman. 3) If it whistles, ignore it. 4) If it's a friend, take a break. 5) If it's the boss, look busy. 6) If it talks, take notes. read more..

29 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1609

Top Ten Employee Rules

1) If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. 2) If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights. 3) Experience is something you don't get until just after read more..

29 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1484

Adolescence

*Adolescence***Nowadays our youngsters are acting as if adolescence is the last fling at life instead of the introduction to it.**Some philosopher said that adolescence is the best substitute ever inv read more..

29 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1602

Daily Living Garden

** FOR THE GARDEN OF YOUR DAILY LIVING **PLANT THREE ROWS OF PEAS: 1. Peace of mind 2. Peace of heart 3. Peace of soul PLANT FOUR ROWS OF SQUASH: 1. Squash gossip 2. Squash indifference 3. Squash grum read more..

29 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1413

Trials, Pain, Suffering, Annoyances

"UNDER OUR SKIN!"There once was an oyster, whose story I tell;Who found that some sand, had gotten into his shell.It was only a grain, but it gave him great pain;For oysters have feelings, although th read more..

29 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1464

Skills Worth Mentioning

"So tell me, Mrs. Smith," asked the interviewer, "have you any other skills you think might be worth mentioning?" "Actually, yes," said the applicant modestly. "Last year I had two short stories publ read more..

29 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1612

Peace on Earth

"Peace doesn't start at a mideast table but in a mideast stable" is the sign on our church front sign. 26,000 cars drive by daily.- Pastor Roger Barcus read more..

28 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3125

Thesaurus Collision

Two trucks loaded with a thousand copies of Roget's Thesaurus collided as they left a New York publishing house last Thursday, according to the Associated Press. Witnesses were stunned, startled, agh... read more..

28 Jul

Cartoons

Jeff Larson

9260

Bird Offerings Cartoon

There's Plenty More "The Back Pew" cartoons athttp://www.thebackpew.com read more..

27 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3385

Food, Family and Philosophy

Gary is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father explains, "My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, ... read more..

27 Jul

Funny Dog Pictures

Pastor Tim

9055

Dog Trick or Treat

Church members were shocked to see the pastor's dogs trick or treating. ... read more..

27 Jul

Funny Dog Pictures

Pastor Tim

7620

Elvis Puppy

You ain't nothin' but a hounddog. Thank you, thank you very much. ... read more..

27 Jul

Funny Dog Pictures

Pastor Tim

7551

Dog Obedience

It's always hard to watch the pups head off to obedience school for the first time. ... read more..

26 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3278

In Both Ears

"It's no good, sir," said the hopeless pupil to his English teacher. "I try to learn, but everything you say goes in both ears and out the other." "Goes in both ears and out the other?" asked the puz read more..