July 2011 - Monthly Archive - Results from #360

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3319

Parking Search

I was driving around and around a parking garage in search of an available space. Nothing. Then I noticed a couple walking ahead of me."Going out?" I called to them."No," said the man. "Just friends."... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1704

Patient Wake Up

Just as a surgeon was finishing up an operation the patient wakes up, sits up and demands to know what is going on."I'm about to close," the surgeon says.The patient grabs his hand and says, "Oh, no y... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2055

Paycheck News

I was told by payroll that they're going to start garnishing my paycheck. It seems pretty silly, but I guess if they want to start tossing some parsley and currants into the envelope every week, it's ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2271

Payment

If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

6195

Payment Pun

When the customer started through the grocery checkout line, the bag boy asked, "Paper or plastic?"When the cashier presented the bill, he held out a checkbook and credit card asking, "Paper or plasti... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

4553

Peanuts

Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1951

Pedestrians

"A pedestrian is a person who should be seen and not hurt." read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1928

Pencils

"A horse may be coaxed to drink, but a pencil must be lead."- Stan Laurel read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2538

Penguin Ritual

Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica - where do they go? Wonder no more!!!It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2297

Pet Chiropractor

What do you call a chiropractor for pets?An animal cracker.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2035

Pet Pun

I call my pet amphibian "Tiny" because he's "my newt." --P. Jackson... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2836

Photon Pun

Photons have mass!? I didn't even know they were Catholic.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1843

Photos 1

I got a package envelope in the mail the other day that had written on the front, "Photographs: Do Not Bend." Underneath the mailman wrote, "Oh, yes they do."... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1723

Photos 2

Q: What did Cinderella say when her holiday snapshots were late?A: "Someday my prints will com."... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1710

Physical Question

After getting a physical from my doctor, I asked, "Well Doc, how do I stand?"The doctor said, "That's what puzzles me."... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2306

Pi Pun

I dated a girl in high school who was sweet as pi, but she sure was irrational.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1803

Pick Up Line Pun

A man approaches a beautiful woman, and says, "Want a little company?" And the woman says, "Why? Do you have one to sell?"... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2864

Picking a New Pope

There were two Catholic boys, Timothy Murphy and Antonio Secola, whose lives parallel each other in amazing ways. In the same year Timothy was born in Ireland, Antonio was born in Italy.Faithfully the... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2078

Pie Pun 1

Mathematicians are all wrong! They're always talking about "Pi R squared." No! No! No!... Pie R round, it's cornbread that R squared!... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2021

Pie Pun 2

I did my nurse's training at a hospital in Liverpool, England. My fellow students and I had little money for meals, so we ate the awful food provided at the hospital complex. We often took our break... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

4794

Pig Name

A farmer brought his daughter a pet pig, which she called "Stinky" when it was in her room but she called it "Ballpoint" when it was in the sty."Tell me," he asked her father, "Why do you have two nam... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3513

Pig Tail Pun

Why is five o'clock in the morning like a pig's tail?It's twirly.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

10443

Pillow Pun

Corduroy pillows are making headlines.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

13443

Pineapple

"I can't believe I ate that whole pineapple!" Bill said, dolefully. read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3420

Pink Elephant

A pink elephant is a beast of bourbon.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

13811

Pisa Pun

The Italian government is considering installing a clock in the Leaning Tower of Pisa. The reason? What good is it to have the inclination if you don't have the time?... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2008

Plumber's Sign

Seen on a plumber's truck:"We repair what your husband fixed. - Don't sleep with a drip."... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2282

Podiatrist's Sign

In a Podiatrist's office:"Time wounds all heels."... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1777

Poet

A backward poet writes inverse.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2051

Poet Pun

Tony Blair is visiting an Edinburgh hospital. He enters a ward full of patients with no obvious sign of injury or illness. He greets the first patient and the patient replies, "Fair fa your honest s... read more..