July 2011 - Monthly Archive - Results from #450

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1963

Restaurants

"As the chef in the restaurant knows,The beluga is old, and it shows.For a food that's a tempter,It's caviar emptor:Beware of those secondhand roes!"- Chris Doyle read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1931

A woman walks in a store to return a pair of eyeglasses that she had purchased for her husband a week before. "What seems to be the problem, madam?""I'm returning these glasses I bought for my husband... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

15857

Rice Pun

A young woman really thought she'd been very patient, through a protracted period of dating with no talk of marriage. One night her steady boyfriend took her to a Chinese restaurant.As he perused the... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2426

Richard

Years ago there was a baker's assistant whose sole job was to pour the dough mixture for making sausage rolls (apparently the royal family loved sausage). Because people were identified by their profe... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2279

Right Pun

He's a forthright character: Right about a forth of the time.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

7457

Robbery Pun

Once some burglars broke out in the bank, one of them pointing the gun to the cashier said, "Give me all your money, or you'll be GEOGRAPHY!" The cashier laughed and said, "You mean to say HISTORY." T... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

11201

Robin Hood Pun

Robin Hood and his merry men were in Sherwood Forest one night celebrating, and imbibing. They all became inebriated. And then Friar Tuck began to sing. He became louder with each drink.Robin Hood,... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2056

Rock and Roll

With all the borscht they consume, I don't understand why Russians aren't the world's greatest rock stars. I mean, everyone knows that the heart of rock and roll is the beet.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

12213

Rock and Roll Pun

With all the borscht they consume, I don't understand why Russians aren't the world's greatest rock stars.I mean, everyone knows that the heart of rock and roll is the beet.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2674

Rock and Roll Re-Releases

Everybody is remaking their oldies hits! - Herman's Hermits - "Mrs. Brown, You've Got A Lovely Walker" - The Bee Gees - "How Can You Mend A Broken Hip" - The Temptations - "Papa's Got A Kidney Stone" ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2279

Rock Star Finder

The best way to find a screeching rock star is with a Heavy Metal Detector.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2005

Rock Store

A rock store was closed by the police.They were taking too much for granite.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

18288

Rodeo Pun

A young cowboy asked his father, "Do you think I can make a good living riding wild horses in a rodeo?"His dad replied, "You should get a couple of bucks out of it."... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2995

Rolex and Timex

A girl was visiting her friend who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.The friend responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.Her friend said, "Whoe... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2149

Room Question

My friend Judy was working at a Maine costal resort when she answered a call for information about the inn. After finishing the conversation, Judy stepped away from the desk. When the phone rang again... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2226

Rooster

A minister had just finished an excellent dinner at the home of a congregation member when he saw a rooster come strutting through the yard."That's certainly a proud-looking rooster," the minister com... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

4515

Rottweiler Pun

Happy New Year everyone! It is my sincere hope and prayer that you have a peace filled and blessed 2004.Here is today's CleanPun.A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog's cross-eyed, is there... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2042

Running Pun

Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2386

Russian Pun

I've done a little searching in FBI files under the Freedom of Information Act. Turns out a few years ago, the Russians were looking to save money, as paying soldiers was getting to be a real dilemma... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

6629

Ruth

Ruth rode upon my motor bike, directly back of me.I hit a bump at 95, and rode on Ruthlessly.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2135

Safety 1

Don't learn safety rules by accident.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1851

Safety 2

While the driver is safer when the road is dry, the road is safer when the driver is dry.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

5005

Safety Pun 1

While attending college, I worked evenings at a retail store. On slow nights my co-worker Susan would often sing along with the radio while we did paperwork or restocked merchandise.One evening as th... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

4477

Safety Pun 2

Safety is something a lot of people learn by accident.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2114

Safety Pun 3

We childproofed our home 3 years ago and they're still getting in!... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

5613

Sailor Pun

Who was the smallest man in history?The sailor who went to sleep on his watch.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2183

Saint Andreas

Blame Saint Andreas. Its all his fault.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1938

Sandwich

A sandwich walks into a bar.The barman says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2512

Sandwich Perfection

As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection. A thick slab of ham, a fresh bun, crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard. The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2195

School Books

“Walking To School The First Day Back” by Misty Bus “The Day the Car Pool Forgot Me” by I. Rhoda Bike “Can't See The Chalkboard” by Sidney Backrow “Practical Jokes I Played On The First Day Of School”... read more..