Monthly Archive

"Don't think of it as getting hot flashes. Think of it as your inner child playing with matches." read more..

"Don't think you're on the right road just because it's a well-beaten path." read more..

"Don't you hate it when people can't sphel? " read more..

"Due to the shape of the North American Elk's esophagus, even if it could speak, it could not pronounce the word lasagna."- Cliff Clavin, Cheers read more..

"Each year a healthy adult male consumes one and one-half times his weight in other peoples patience." ~John Updike read more..

"Eschew obfuscation." read more..

"Even Popeye didn't eat his spinach until he absolutely had to." read more..

"Every silver lining has a cloud." read more..

"Everyone should have a spouse, because there are a number of things that go wrong that one can't blame on the government." read more..

"Everything can be filed under 'miscellaneous.'" read more..

"For every tax problem there is a solution which is straightforward, uncomplicated and wrong." read more..

"Forget about world peace...visualize using your turn signal!" read more..

"Four-wheel-drive just means getting stuck in more inaccessible places." read more..

"Gas prices are so high that when this college girl pulled into a gas station and asked for 2 dollar's worth, the attendant dabbed some behind her ears." read more..

"Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and get rid of him for the day!" read more..

"Give a man a fish and feed him for a day.; give a man a stick of dynamite and soon the whole village will be strewn with mud, seaweed, and unidentifiable chunks of fish." read more..

"Give me ambiguity or give me something else." read more..

"Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle." read more..

"Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe." read more..

"Grandma used to set her hot baked apple pies on the window sill to cool - her granddaughters set theirs on the window sill to thaw." read more..

"Grass grows in direct proportion to your unwillingness to mow it." read more..

"Happiness can't buy money."- Bob Hope read more..

"Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked."- Jeff Pesis read more..

"Have a nice day...someplace else!" read more..

"Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee." read more..

"Help stamp out and eradicate superfluous redundancy." read more..

"His eye is on the sparrow--and on the turkey, too!" read more..

"Honk if you love Jesus! Text while driving if you want to meet Him." read more..

"Hors D'oeuvres - A sandwich cut into 20 pieces." read more..

"How do a fool and his money get together?" read more..