July 2011 - Monthly Archive - Results from #750

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1339

One-liner #0091

"Four-wheel-drive just means getting stuck in more inaccessible places." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1426

One-liner #0092

"Gas prices are so high that when this college girl pulled into a gas station and asked for 2 dollar's worth, the attendant dabbed some behind her ears." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1317

One-liner #0093

"Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and get rid of him for the day!" read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1370

One-liner #0094

"Give a man a fish and feed him for a day.; give a man a stick of dynamite and soon the whole village will be strewn with mud, seaweed, and unidentifiable chunks of fish." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1405

One-liner #0095

"Give me ambiguity or give me something else." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1342

One-liner #0096

"Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1412

One-liner #0097

"Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1407

One-liner #0098

"Grandma used to set her hot baked apple pies on the window sill to cool - her granddaughters set theirs on the window sill to thaw." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1353

One-liner #0099

"Grass grows in direct proportion to your unwillingness to mow it." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1335

One-liner #0100

"Happiness can't buy money."- Bob Hope read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1386

One-liner #0101

"Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked."- Jeff Pesis read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1345

One-liner #0102

"Have a nice day...someplace else!" read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1334

One-liner #0103

"Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1345

One-liner #0104

"Help stamp out and eradicate superfluous redundancy." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1339

One-liner #0105

"His eye is on the sparrow--and on the turkey, too!" read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1386

One-liner #0106

"Honk if you love Jesus! Text while driving if you want to meet Him." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1389

One-liner #0107

"Hors D'oeuvres - A sandwich cut into 20 pieces." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1331

One-liner #0108

"How do a fool and his money get together?" read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1361

One-liner #0109

"How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?"- Satchel Paige read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1353

One-liner #0110

"Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home."~ Bill Cosby read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1290

One-liner #0111

"Hypochondriacs are sick." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1335

One-liner #0112

"I am not stupid - everyone else is just smarter than me." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1386

One-liner #0113

"I asked Mom if I was a gifted child...she said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1357

One-liner #0114

"I bought my Christmas tree today. I think I made a mistake though. I bought the three year extended warranty. I don't think I need that."- Jay Leno read more..