July 2011 - Monthly Archive - Results from #90

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

4563

Edison Pun

Most people don't know that Thomas Alva Edison was among the first to show concern for western Indians. He came out to California, and finding living conditions among natives deplorable, he vowed to ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2294

Egg Pun

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2358

Egotists

When two egotists meet, it's "an I for an I."... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2315

Eight Ball

"I wonder why I always feel that I'm stuck right behind the eight ball?" Tom said racking his brain. ~Simon Champion read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2144

Einstein Burger

"Have you been to that new 'Einstein Burger' yet?""Why yes I have.""How was it?""Relatively good." read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1924

Electrician's Truck

Seen on an Electrician's truck:"Let us remove your shorts."... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2114

Electronic Shows

Shows that may be appearing on TV soon, as a result of the electronic and computer age:Modem, She Wrote: Each week, our intrepid detective tries to solve the ultimate mystery: why her modem won't ever... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1900

Elephant Pun 1

How do you get down off of an elephant?You don't, you get down off of a duck.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

7812

Elephant Pun 2

An elephant is drinking out of a river when he spots a turtle asleep on a log. The elephant ambles over and kicks the unsuspecting turtle clear across the river."Why did you do that?" asks a passing ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

5866

Elephant Stew Pun

Elephant Stew Recipe2 Rabbits (Optional)1 Elephant, Medium SizeSalt & Pepper to tasteBrown GravyCut elephant into small bite-sized pieces. This should take about two months. Add enough brown gravy to ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

4689

Embalming Fluid

Undertakers Mal and Mel were storing embalming fluid.It was considered appropriate to place it in an area out of sight. Mel had his share stored promptly but there was still a good portion left for Ma... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2784

Entomologist Tenure

It had been a horrible week for Henry.An entomologist (insect scientist) at the local university, he was up for a promotion this year. With the promotion would come tenure. But there was a problem. It... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2698

Equestrian Pun

At the Olympics in Barcelona, some of the locals were entered in equestrian events. Other contestants were surprised to note that the Spanish riders guided their horses with so much slack in the rein... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

5580

Escalator

My wife recently came home from shopping with an escalator.She'll buy anything marked down!... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1942

Eskimo Dinner 2

What did the eskimos sing when they got there Christmas dinner?"Whalemeat again, don't know where, don't know when!"... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1984

Eskimo Dinner

What did the eskimos sing when they got there Christmas dinner?"Whalemeat again, don't know where, don't know when!"... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

9907

Eskimo Pun

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank-proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2844

Ethical Question

"Would it be ethical to dig up the remains of of the USA founding fathers, create clones from the bone cells, and place them in a theme park called Clonial Williamsburg?" read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2149

Everything

Q. What do you give a man who has everything?A. Antibiotics.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2538

Excavating Burial Ground

Two women archeologists are down in Mexico excavating an ancient Mayan burial ground looking for some remains to take back to their museum. Unfortunately, everything they run across is badly decompose... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2016

Family Furniture

Working on a new trick, a magician turned his wife into a couch and his kids into chairs, but he couldn't turn them back.What have I done? he wondered. How can I bring back my family?Out of ideas, he ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

4358

Fan Pun

While I was in the Air Force in Vietnam, I was in charge of a parts supply depot where the only relief from the heat was provided by an electric fan in my office.One morning I accidentally caught my f... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2407

Farmer Loses 2025 Pigs

Howard County police officers still write their reports by hand. The data is entered later into their database by a clerk.One theft report stated that a farmer had lost 2,025 pigs. Thinking that to be... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

6990

Fate Pun

"Oh, master...tell me of fate.""Ah, my son...it is what has brought great nations together. It has made the world a smaller place in which to live. It has inspired men of worth to work endless hours. read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2398

Feeding

"Mom," said the little girl, "Is it alright to say you are going to water the horse when you are giving him a drink of water?""Yes," said her mother, "that is the correct thing to say.""Well then, I'm read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2269

Fight

A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2866

Fine Furniture

As the woman was instructing the new maid on the great care required in handling certain valuable household objects. She pointed to the dining room and said with great satisfaction, "That table goes b... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3994

Firefly

A mother firefly and her brood were out for a walk. 'Whatever happens,' mom ordered, 'don't shine your light. I don't want you eaten by owls.'Sure enough, after a little while, she spotted the younges... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

5123

Firewood Pun

There was this nun named Sister Mary who, though she tried and tried, could never please the Mother Superior. One day she comes up with an idea: since the abbey was always cold, she decided to cut som... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1943

Fish Pun

Q. What does a fish with out an eye look like?A. Fsh... read more..