July 2011 - Monthly Archive - Results from #990

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1293

One-liner #0331

"The worst thing about censorship is ****** ** ********!" read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1380

One-liner #0332

"There are 10 types of people in the world; those that understand binary, and those that don't." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1308

One-liner #0333

"There are more important things in life than money but they won't go out with you if you're broke." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1386

One-liner #0334

"There aren't enough days in the weekend."~ Steven Wright read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1375

One-liner #0335

"There will always be death and taxes; however, death doesn't get worse every year." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1436

One-liner #0336

"There's only two more days to procrastinate before Christmas." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1437

One-liner #0337

"There's too much blood in my caffeine system." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1317

One-liner #0338

"They have Dial-a-Prayer for atheists now - you call up and it rings and rings but nobody answers." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1386

One-liner #0339

"They say kids brighten the home - that's because they never turn the lights off." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1341

One-liner #0340

"Time is Nature's way of keeping everything from happening all at once." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1395

One-liner #0341

"Time may be a great healer but it's also a lousy beautician." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1406

One-liner #0342

"To err is human, just do it in front of as few people as possible!" read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1425

One-liner #0343

"To prevent sagging skin eat 'til the wrinkles fill out." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1358

One-liner #0344

"To vacillate or not to vacillate - that is the question...or is it?" read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1314

One-liner #0345

"Today I went to buy a toaster and was given a bank as a free gift." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1351

One-liner #0346

"Today is the first day of the rest of your life but so was yesterday and look how you messed that up." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1327

One-liner #0347

"Today, it takes more brains and effort to make out the income-tax form than it does to make the income." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1314

One-liner #0348

"Trouble with grammar have I, yes."- Yoda read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1321

One-liner #0349

"Try to get all of your posthumous medals in advance" read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1388

One-liner #0350

"Two can live as cheap as one, if one don't eat." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1335

One-liner #0351

"Vacation is a two-week-long experience where money and time race against each other until both are totally exhausted." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1330

One-liner #0352

"Visa is everywhere you want to be except out of debt." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1294

One-liner #0353

"We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1383

One-liner #0354

"Well, if you can't believe what you read in a comic book, what can you believe?"- Bullwinkle J. Moose read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1264

One-liner #0355

"We've come so far that community service is considered punishment." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1376

One-liner #0356

"What do you call an accordionist with a beeper? An optimist." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1361

One-liner #0357

"What makes airport security think they can find something in my wife's purse when she can't?" read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1374

One-liner #0358

"What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce."~Mark Twain read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1403

One-liner #0359

"Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult."~Charlotte Whitton read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1490

One-liner #0360

"What's another word for synonym?" read more..