2011 - Monthly Archive - Results from #1290

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1943

Buffalo 1

Back in the 1960s, one animal rights group was outraged that open season had been declared on the great American buffalo to help thin the herd in and near some of our national parks. They began herdin... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3230

Bug Pun 2

One night, as Al was watching TV, the doorbell rang. He went to the door and found a six-foot cockroach standing there. The bug grabbed him by the collar, threw him across the room, and then left. ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2320

Bull Pun 3

ave you heard about the five young bulls standing in the pasture discussing what they wanted to be when they grew up.The first said he wanted to go to Rome and become a papal bull.The second said he w... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1931

Butler Teeth

Q: What do you call a butler with no teeth?A: An in-dentured servant.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1841

Cage Elevator

There's this cathedral that's still being worked on, and the workers have rigged a "cage elevator" inside so they can get material up and down to the upper floors. A characteristic of these "cage elev... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1940

Candidate Test

After 50 years preaching from the same pulpit, a much loved pastor decided to retire. Because the church building was classically elegant, the manse spacious and comfortable and the congregation large... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2157

Cannibal Pun

If people who shun all meat are vegetarians, are cannibals then considered to be humanitarians?... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

7174

Cardboard

A young minister was filling in for Norman Vincent Peal at Marblegate Cathedral. Ascending the pulpit he looked at the magnificent colored glass windows and told the congregation: "You know, these bea... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2020

Careless Clifford

Clifford Clarke was a careless chap. Every hostess hated him. They feared for their precious porcelain and good furniture whenever this emulator of a china shop bull appeared. His reputation spread a... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1923

Cartoon Poker

The cartoon characters were playing draw poker between the takes of the epic movie, "Who Framed Roger Rabbit."Roger was the big winner but Mickey Mouse and Huckleberry Hound were doing well. Goofy, Ca... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1797

Cat Pun

My wife asked me if I put the cat out.I said I didn't know it was on fire.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2440

Cat Puns

!!!Warning!!! These are amongst the worst puns I have ever sent out on the CleanPun list. Admittedly though, they are in a style that some love so if the first couple don't do it for you - just stop read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1891

Chair Sleep

A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1989

Check My Leg

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, you gotta check my leg. Something's wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you'll hear it!" The doctor cautiously placed his ear to the man's thigh only to... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

6472

Cher Pun

If Cher were to get cloned, would she be Cher and Cher alike?... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2016

Chicken Pun 2

Q. Why does a chicken coop have two doors? A. Because if it had four, it would be a chicken sedan.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2053

Chicken Surprise

A couple goes for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and orders the "Chicken Surprise." The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast-iron pot.Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2477

Chickens in Trees

During the Revolutionary War, there was a small encampment of patriot soldiers the woods. Before they went to bed that night, they tied chickens (they were saving them for a special meal when needed) ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2785

Children and Cement

A very strange thing happened here in suburbia a few days ago. This past weekend, I noticed a neighbor of mine repairing his sidewalk. He had removed a number of broken sections (thanks to numerous tr... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2011

cleanpun test

cleanpun test... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1875

Clinic Change

The Mayo Clinic, getting on board with today's diet and health conscious society, just changed its name.It's now the Balsamic Vinaigrette Clinic.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2150

Clown Bite

Trouser was normally a happy-go-lucky dog. He would chase tennis balls, play with other doggies, and eat his dinner without a fuss. He was a dog without a care.But on that fateful autumn afternoon, i... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

5295

Coffin Pun

A man was walking home alone late one night when he hears a BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... behind him.Walking faster he looks back, and makes out the image of an upright coffin banging its way down the mi... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3163

Collie

One of the pups in a breeder's litter of collies had a strange appetite, fostered no doubt, because the dog fancier's kennel was deep in the southern United States.The odd youngster spurned regular do... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

4168

Columbus Pun

We all know that Columbus believed the world was round when others believed it was flat and that if you traveled far enough you would go over the edge.We also know that Columbus reached what we now kn... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2218

Compiled Baby Name Puns

At the end of April I began sending out a bunch of baby name puns. Many of you have asked for a complete list of all that were sent out. Here you go. Thanks to those who added their own suggestions... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1945

Computer

The best computer is a man, and it's the only one that can be mass-produced by unskilled labor.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

9955

Constitution 2

The Founding Fathers were sitting around a table sometime in 1788, working on the constitution. It had been a long day when Thomas Jefferson said, "Whew! It's getting rather warm in here, isn't it?"... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3263

Convent Pun

Outside a small Macedonian village a lone Catholic nun keeps a quiet watch over a silent convent. She is the last caretaker of this site of significant historical developments, spanning more than 2,0... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1644

Cooking for Tom

It's fun to cook for Tom. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls. Tom wanted fruit salad for supper. The reci... read more..