2011 - Monthly Archive - Results from #1410

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3272

Freedom

Memorial Day weekend was coming up, and the nursery school teacher took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. "We live in a great country," she said. "One of the things we should be hap... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

14121

Frisbee Pun

The other day I was standing in the park wondering why Frisbees get bigger and bigger the closer they get.Then it hit me.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2727

Frisbees

The other day I was standing in the park wondering why Frisbees get bigger and bigger the closer they get.Then it hit me.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2250

Frog Pun

Frogs have it easy; they can eat what bugs them.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2025

Funeral Expenses

A woman's husband died. He had $20,000 to his name. After paying all the funeral expenses, she told her closest friend that there was no money left. The friend asked, "How can that be? You told me he ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2007

Game Hunt

They have a game hunt each year at the Kennedy compound in Massachusetts. They call it "Hyena sport."~Gary Hallock... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2072

Garden Theft

"Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking." read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3480

Garnish Pun

Today's Cleanpun is actually a report to you all on a recent MSN Chat conversation I had with a CleanPun member Texas.It was a delightful chat - especially when I learned the his name was not only who... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2532

Gasr

Saudi Arabia offered to help lower gasoline prices Sunday. It's just in time for the holiday. Americans are about to celebrate Gasover, when an angel stops by the door of every SUV and collects the fi... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3101

Gear Box Pun

A friend of mine tried to build a gear-box for his car using nothing but dried grass. It was never going to work; I think he was clutching at straws.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2105

General Pun

I was in the band at Ellsworth Air Force Base, South Dakota.Our group was required to play for all generals who arrived on our base. One morning, when our commanding officer heard on the radio that a... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1997

Genius Farmer

A man is driving down a country road when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2791

Gerald the Infamous Reindeer Pun

My brother, a pastor, has done some methodical research and discovered the name of another one of Santa's reindeer - Gerald Lee. Gerald was bigger than the rest of the reindeer, and not too gifted in... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2717

Ghost Marriage

I once knew a woman wanted to marry a ghost.I don't know what possessed her!... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2990

Ghost Pun

An intrepid photographer went to a haunted castle determined to get a picture of a ghost which was said to appear only once in a hundred years.Not wanting to frighten off the ghost, the photographer s... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1892

Gift

"My childhood was rough. Once for my birthday my old man gave me a bat. The first day I played with it, it flew away."- Rodney Dangerfield read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2071

Gift Disappointment

The rich aunt was hurt and said to her nephew, "I'm sorry you don't like your gift. I asked you if you preferred a large check or a small check.""I know, Auntie," the nephew said contritely, "but I d... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2000

Gift Pun

The fight between good and evil, an epic battle: Darth Vader and Luke. Suddenly in the middle of the fight, Darth Vader pulls Luke to him, and whispers "I know what you're getting for Christmas!"Luke... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2297

Giuseppe Spomdalucc

To impress his date, the young man took her to a very chic Italian restaurant. After sipping some fine wine, he picked up the menu and ordered. "We'll have the Giuseppe Spomdalucci," he said."Sorry, s... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3867

Gladys Pun

There was this lady who was visiting a church one Sunday. The sermon seemed to go on forever, and many in the congregation fell asleep.After the service, to be social, she walked up to a very sleepy ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

7151

Gland Pun

Little is known about the salivary glands because they are so secretive.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3631

Glazier

My son is the manager of a glass and window company and advertised in the paper for experienced glaziers. Since a good glass man is hard to find, he was pleased when a man who called about the job sai... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2103

Goat Junk

Two goats wandered into the junkyard and had a field day. One of them spent a particularly long time bent over a spool of film. When he was finished, the other goat came over. "So, did you enjoy the f... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1939

Golden Years

"Ah, the golden years. When actions creak louder than words." read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1797

Golf Gun

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez."How was he killed?" asked one detective. "With a golf gun," the other detective replied. "A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?" "I do... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1962

Golf Tomatoes

"I don't want to say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes they'd come up sliced." read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

4210

Gone Pun

A bill collector knocked on the door of a country debtor. "Is Fred home?", he asked the woman who answered the door. "Sorry," the woman replied. "Fred's gone for cotton." The next day, the collect... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

5475

Gossip

A gossip is someone with a great "sense of rumor."... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1781

Got Everything?

"Two paramedics were dispatched to check on a 92-year-old man who had become disoriented. They decided to take him to the hospital for evaluation.En route, with the siren blaring, they questioned the read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2355

Grade Pun

A high-school student came home one night rather depressed."What's the matter, son," asked his mother."Aw, Mom," said the boy, "It's my grades. They're all wet.""What do you mean 'all wet?'""You know... read more..