Monthly Archive

If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two and keep away from children.... read more..

Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery on May 5th in Vera Cr... read more..

"These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter...I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here after." read more..

"The child had his mother's eyes, his mother's nose and his mother's mouth. Which left his mother with a pretty blank expression."- Robert Benchley read more..

A student at our high school a few years back, having had his fill with drawing graph after graph in senior high math class, told his teacher, "I'll do algebra, I'll do trig, and I'll even do statisti... read more..

"The majority of HMO plans I've seen can be likened to hospital gowns-- you only think you're covered." read more..

BAND PLAYING by Clara NettJAZZ MUSIC by Tenna SaxeCUDDLY TOYS by Ted E. BehrTHE STARS TELL IT ALL by Horace CopeSCULPTING THE GODS OF GREECE AND ROME by Jove... read more..

This guy goes into a restaurant for a Christmas breakfast while in his home town for the holidays. After looking over the menu he says, "I'll just have the eggs Benedict." His order comes a while late... read more..

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.... read more..

These cat puns are both horrible and painful! You were warned.What do you call a cat that has just eaten a whole duck? - A duck filled fatty puss!What did the cat do when he swallowed some cheese? - ... read more..

You can lead a horse to water, but, a pencil must be lead.... read more..

A city slicker was driving through the country when he spotted a horse standing in a field. He was quite taken with the animal and so pulled over to ask the farmer if it was for sale."Afraid not," sai... read more..

"While working as a Navy nurse in a military hospital's emergency room, I was required to introduce myself by my rank and full name. I usually refer to myself as Ensign Mike Payne, but one busy day I read more..

Q: Who are the most decent people in the hospital?A: The ultrasound people.... read more..

Songs From The Hospital Hit Parade~ "I'll be Sewing You"~ "Red Cells in the Sunset"~ "It's Spleen a Long, Long Time"~ "It Had to Be Flu"~ "On the Bonny Banks of Glaucoma"~ "Gonna Take a Sentimental Gu... read more..

A young family, feeling cramped in their small apartment, went shopping for a house. The parents looked at houses for a month before deciding on a two-story house in the country. While driving to the... read more..

"My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance." read more..

I was tidying up the house but finding the task difficult because of a pulled muscle in my lower back. As I was collecting the trash, something fell to the floor. Taking a deep breath and trying to ig... read more..

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall but winter doesn't look too promising.... read more..

"When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds." read more..

At the police station, Bubba explained to the police officer why his cousins shot him."Well," Bubba began, "We wuz havin' a good time drinking, when my cousin Ray picked up his shotgun and said, 'Hey,... read more..

DENTIST: Crown Him with many crownsCONTRACTORS: The church's one foundationOBSTETRICIANS: Come, labour onGOLFERS: There is a green hill far awayPOLITICIANS: Standing on the promisesLIBRARIANS: Let all... read more..

"People are forever calling me a hypochondriac, and, let me tell you, that makes me sick." read more..

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? read more..

Two robins were sitting in a tree. "I'm really hungry," said the first one. "Let's fly down and find some lunch." They flew down to the ground and found a nice plot of newly plowed ground that was ful... read more..

A fella walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had.He said, "Shingles."So she took down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat. Fifteen ... read more..

If a rabbit is raised indoors, would it be an ingrown hare?... read more..

An inflatable student goes to his inflatable school and is having a really bad day. Bored in history lesson, he gets up and walks out. Walking down the corridor, he sees the inflatable headmaster wa... read more..

The geek shall inherit the earth.... read more..

A man is struck in the head by a rock during a heated demonstration. A woman rushes over, kneels down and places his head in her lap."Are you comfortable?" she asks."Oh, I do okay." he replied. "Som... read more..