2011 - Monthly Archive - Results from #1500

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2383

Lab Pun

Microbiology Lab: Staph Only!... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1864

My wife was in labor with our first child. Things were going pretty well when suddenly she began to shout, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! CAN'T!""Doctor, what's wrong with my wife!" I cried."It's per... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2054

Lancelot Bed Attire

What did Sir Lancelot wear to bed?A knight-gown.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3973

Laneway Pun

I hate the speed bump in the laneway of my complex. But I just get over it and move on.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

9958

Latin Puns

"Minutus cantorum, minutus balorum, minutus carborata descendum pantorum."(A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants.)"Domino vobiscum."(The pizza guy's here.)"Sharpei diem."(Sei read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1975

Lawyer Picture

A photographer was hired to take pictures at a lawyers' convention.When he lined up his subjects he got them to look their best by shouting, "Okay everyone, say fees!"... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2230

Lawyer Pun

Clothes don't necessarily make the man, but a good suit makes a lawyer.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1763

Leading

"You can lead a horse to water, but, a pencil must be lead."- Stan Laurel in the short, "BRATS" read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

6248

Leaning Pun

Bert has this friend who always seemed to lean slightly to the left all the time. It used to bother him, so he suggested his buddy Louie should see a doctor, and have his legs checked out.For years, ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

13743

Leg Pun

A man goes into the doctor. He says "Doc, you gotta check my leg. Something's wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you'll hear it!" The doctor cautiously placed his ear to the man's thigh only... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3191

Legal Pun

A man went to his lawyer and said, "I would like to make a will but I don't know exactly how to go about it." The lawyer said, "No problem, leave it all to me." The man looked somewhat upset and said,... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2063

Legionnaire Pun

There's these two French Legionnaires in the desert, and they've been separated from their unit and are lost. They've been wandering for several days without food and water, and are nearly resigned t... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2025

Letter Carrying

A letter carrier's career is a mail-dominated profession.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

6114

Letter Pun

Beware of the letter G. It is the end of everything.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2297

Library Glasses

My grandson, Chris, has worn glasses since the age of three. When he was in the first grade he came home one day very distressed. Wanting to find out what was the matter his mother asked, "Chris, what... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2142

Light Pun

(BTW, Saturday's Park Pun was written by Stan Kegel.)A Chinese scholar was lecturing when all the lights in the auditorium went out. He asked members of the audience to raise their hands. As soon as read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2837

Lightning Driving

Two men were talking. One says to the other, "My wife drives like lightning."His friend asked, "She drives fast?""No, she hits trees."... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1886

Lion Hunting

Before they go out hunting for food, the lion says to his friends, "Let us prey."... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2141

Lion Pun 1

A young missionary on his first term in Africa was reading his Bible in a clearing when a lion came up and laid down beside him. As he quietly prayed for deliverance, another lion came out of the bush... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2137

Lion Pun 2

A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree and reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2042

Little Known Illnesses

AFROPHOBIA: Fear of the return of the 70's hair styles.DEJA FLU: The feeling that one has had this cold before.HYPOCOINDRIA: Fear of not having correct change.HAIRPIECE SWIMPLEX: Rash caused by wearin... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3122

Lobster

A guy was down on Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco when he saw a seafood restaurant and a sign on the Specials Board which read, "Big Lobster Tales, $5 each."Amazed at the great value, he said to th... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

14559

Lobster Pun

A guy was down on Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco when he saw a seafood restaurant and a sign on the Specials Board which read, "Big Lobster Tales, $5 each." Amazed at the great value, he said to t... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

5192

Locksmith

They tried to keep a locksmith in prison, but the nut bolted.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2015

Loosing Weight

Two overweight middle-aged women are on their daily exercise stroll. They were talking about how hard it is to lose weight as one gets older, something with which all you youths must deal eventually.O... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1769

Lost Envelope

Young Mary was a dutiful child. She obeyed every rule and never once contradicted the commands that were issued daily to govern her life.One day, when her aunt was bedridden with the flu, Mary was gi... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1768

Lost Jewelry

What do you call jewelry lost on the golf course?A diamond in the rough.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2008

Lot Pun

The Hebrew school teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little David interrupted."My Mommy looked back once while she was DRIVING," he announced triu... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2082

Love Pun

"It's better to have loved and lost a short person than never to have loveda tall." - David Chambless read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1761

Lumber Need

Some men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the men walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos."The clerk asked, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?"The man said, "I'll go... read more..