Monthly Archive

2011

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 3444 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2310

One and Two Yards

The difference between one yard and two yards is usually a fence.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2533

Onion Mishap

Don't panic but I'm in hospital. I have poisoned myself. I ate what I thought was an onion it, turned out it was a daffodil bulb.Doctor says I'll be out in the spring!... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2181

Optometrist's Sign

See on a sign at an Optometrist's Office:"If you don't see what your looking for you've come to the right place."... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2189

One day an ape escaped from the Bronx Zoo. They searched for him everywhere, in every borough. They announced his disappearance on the radio and television as well as the newspapers. But, no one re... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3175

Oval Office

One day, the president of the United States was sitting in the Oval Office reading a newspaper to catch on that day's current events. All of a sudden, one of his secret service men burst through the d... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2509

Owl Lesson

A first grade class teacher, for the "Natural World" section of her class, had a lesson about owls.She explained to the class about how they are nocturnal, how they can swivel their heads so far in ei... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2175

Oy!

Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?He walks around saying, "Yo."... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3203

Paint Tin Pun

Man works in a hardware store, and all of a sudden one day, a whole lot of tins of paint fall on him.Of course, he's whisked off to hospital where they manage to clean him up physically, but mentally ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3111

Painting Pun

A guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, getting in and out past security, he was captured only 2 blocks away when his Ford E... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

5475

Paramedic Pun

Do you think Roman paramedics call IV's 4's?... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

5038

Parcel Pun

Working as a cargo handler for a major package delivery company, I came across an express envelope with shipping instructions that puzzled me, particularly the line describing the contents.I finally r... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2108

2 min read

Park Rules

Here's another great pun from Stan Kegel.I took my two sons, ages seven and five, to the playground at our local park. My seven year old was very proud that he was able to read to his brother the sig... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1888

Parking 1

"Whatever you do, when you stop by the auto-wrecking yard, don't park your small car in a spot marked 'Compact.'"- Lil Owens read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2292

Parking 2

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windshield that said "Parking Fine."That was so nice.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

5400

Parking Pun 1

Late for work already, I was annoyed to find a strange car in my reserved parking space again. After locating a spot far away, I stormed into my office determined to have the car towed. As the morni... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2110

Parking Pun 2

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3429

Parking Search

I was driving around and around a parking garage in search of an available space. Nothing. Then I noticed a couple walking ahead of me."Going out?" I called to them."No," said the man. "Just friends."... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1805

Patient Wake Up

Just as a surgeon was finishing up an operation the patient wakes up, sits up and demands to know what is going on."I'm about to close," the surgeon says.The patient grabs his hand and says, "Oh, no y... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2166

Paycheck News

I was told by payroll that they're going to start garnishing my paycheck. It seems pretty silly, but I guess if they want to start tossing some parsley and currants into the envelope every week, it's ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2379

Payment

If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

6317

Payment Pun

When the customer started through the grocery checkout line, the bag boy asked, "Paper or plastic?"When the cashier presented the bill, he held out a checkbook and credit card asking, "Paper or plasti... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

4654

Peanuts

Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2044

Pedestrians

"A pedestrian is a person who should be seen and not hurt." read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2028

Pencils

"A horse may be coaxed to drink, but a pencil must be lead."- Stan Laurel read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2652

Penguin Ritual

Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica - where do they go? Wonder no more!!!It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2389

Pet Chiropractor

What do you call a chiropractor for pets?An animal cracker.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2139

Pet Pun

I call my pet amphibian "Tiny" because he's "my newt." --P. Jackson... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2940

Photon Pun

Photons have mass!? I didn't even know they were Catholic.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1935

Photos 1

I got a package envelope in the mail the other day that had written on the front, "Photographs: Do Not Bend." Underneath the mailman wrote, "Oh, yes they do."... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1820

Photos 2

Q: What did Cinderella say when her holiday snapshots were late?A: "Someday my prints will com."... read more..

Results 1591 - 1620 of 3444