2011 - Monthly Archive - Results from #1650

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2308

Pi Pun

I dated a girl in high school who was sweet as pi, but she sure was irrational.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1805

Pick Up Line Pun

A man approaches a beautiful woman, and says, "Want a little company?" And the woman says, "Why? Do you have one to sell?"... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2866

There were two Catholic boys, Timothy Murphy and Antonio Secola, whose lives parallel each other in amazing ways. In the same year Timothy was born in Ireland, Antonio was born in Italy.Faithfully the... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2081

Pie Pun 1

Mathematicians are all wrong! They're always talking about "Pi R squared." No! No! No!... Pie R round, it's cornbread that R squared!... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2023

Pie Pun 2

I did my nurse's training at a hospital in Liverpool, England. My fellow students and I had little money for meals, so we ate the awful food provided at the hospital complex. We often took our break... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

4796

Pig Name

A farmer brought his daughter a pet pig, which she called "Stinky" when it was in her room but she called it "Ballpoint" when it was in the sty."Tell me," he asked her father, "Why do you have two nam... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3515

Pig Tail Pun

Why is five o'clock in the morning like a pig's tail?It's twirly.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

10446

Pillow Pun

Corduroy pillows are making headlines.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

13446

Pineapple

"I can't believe I ate that whole pineapple!" Bill said, dolefully. read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3424

Pink Elephant

A pink elephant is a beast of bourbon.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

13814

Pisa Pun

The Italian government is considering installing a clock in the Leaning Tower of Pisa. The reason? What good is it to have the inclination if you don't have the time?... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2011

Plumber's Sign

Seen on a plumber's truck:"We repair what your husband fixed. - Don't sleep with a drip."... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2286

Podiatrist's Sign

In a Podiatrist's office:"Time wounds all heels."... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1783

Poet

A backward poet writes inverse.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2056

Poet Pun

Tony Blair is visiting an Edinburgh hospital. He enters a ward full of patients with no obvious sign of injury or illness. He greets the first patient and the patient replies, "Fair fa your honest s... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2115

Poetry Pun

An English professor was reading Canterbury Tales to his class and noticed that one of his students had fallen asleep. The professor was annoyed enough to send the book spinning through the air and b... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2495

Political Pun

A Congressman is awakened in the middle of the night by his wife who whispers, "I think there's a thief in the house.""Not in the House," her husband says. "Perhaps in the Senate, my dear, but not in... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

4259

Poll Pun

I took a part time job as an opinion poll sampler. On my very first call, I introduced myself, "Hello, this is a telephone poll."The man replied, "Hello. This is a street lamp."... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2515

Pollster Pun

A political pollster knocked on the door and a sour-faced lady answered."What party does your husband belong to?" he asked.The lady responded curtly, "I sir, am the party he belongs to."... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2368

Pope Pun 1

Selecting a new Pope, a couple of Popes back, a gentleman from Spain was given weighty consideration. His name was Cardinal Sicola. However the College of Cardinals decided against him in the end. ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

4670

Poppins Pun

Mary Poppins decides to grow some vegetables one year. When she picks her crop in the Autumn, her carrots, potatoes, onions and spring beans have all failed, but her cauliflowers have grown a treat.S... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1812

Potato Problem

One evening, I went with my parents to a fancy restaurant. Dad was about halfway through his meal when he took a hard look at the potato, called the waitress over and said, "This potato is bad!" The w... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1690

Pottie Pun

In order to move Porto-Potties, will you need a John Derek?... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

4658

Prayer Pun

A young woman went to her priest and asked him if it was all right for her to pray while she knit. The priest seeing a good opportunity to advance the theory of praying without ceasing replied that, ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2409

Preacher Barber

There was once a small rural community, so small, in fact, the only church in town is a small Baptist church whose pastor must also double up as the local barber to make ends meet.There happened to be... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

6315

Presentation Pun

Preparing for the most important presentation of his life, a sales rep went to a psychiatrist. "I'll implant a hypnotic suggestion in your mind," said the shrink. "Just say 'one-two-three,' and you'... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1925

Priest Hole

A priest rushed from church one day to keep a golf date. He was halfway down the first fairway, waiting to hit his second shot, when he heard the familiar "FORE!" and a ball slammed into his back.Soon... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

9189

Priest Pun

When a priest makes a mistake in church, it's a clerical error.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2573

Prison

Jimmy was sent to prison for his crimes but he told the warden he wasn't worried at all about serving his full term.The warden asked him why, since most prisoners immediately start planning how they c... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

5072

Prison Break

The prison officer tells the warden, “Sir, I have to report that ten prisoners have broken out.”The alarmed warden says, “Blow the whistles, sound the alarms, alert the police.With a surprised look th... read more..