Monthly Archive

The British threatened to draw and quarter George Washington if they caught him.Isn't it ironic that Americans drew him on a quarter?... read more..

While I was preaching in a church in Mississippi, the pastor announced that their prison quartet would be singing the following evening. I wasn't aware there was a prison in the vicinity and I looked... read more..

Sunday after church a mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about. The daughter answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt." Needless to say, the mom was perplexed. Later in the... read more..

Once upon a time there was a village up in the mountains and in this village lived the Tibet Refugees Isolated from Danger, or TRIDs. Now, the TRIDs of this village had a problem. There was a giant ... read more..

A racetrack is a place where the windows clean the people.... read more..

“There probably aren't many Jewish girls dancing at Radio City Music Hall, but it doesn't take a Rockette Zionist to figure that one out.“~ Gary Hallock... read more..

Late one evening, while sitting and looking out their kitchen window somewhere in northern Russia, Rudolf and his wife Tanya were observing the inclement weather."This rain is going to make a mess out... read more..

Our boss told us that she is planning a salary raise. One of the guys asked, "When does it become effective?"The boss answered, "As soon as you do."... read more..

"I have to have a raise," the man said to his boss. "There are three other companies after me.""Is that so?" asked the manager. "What other companies are after you?""The electric company, the telepho read more..

Two police officers respond to a crime scene behind a grocery store. The homicide detective is already there. "What happened?" asks the first officer. "Male, about twenty-five, covered in Raisin Bran ... read more..

A rancher let his cows roam anywhere they wished. He lets the chips fall where they may.... read more..

Fair Ladies and Noble Gentlemen:I, RaPUNzel, have a HAIR-raising tale to SHEAR with you written by the Brothers TRIMM.When I was a young CURL, a jealous queen LOCKed me in a tower.I was STRANDed and w... read more..

Rodents had overrun a posh private school near New York City. So the headmaster asked a health inspector to deliver a slide presentation to teachers and students, showing how to remedy the situation, ... read more..

A couple months ago, I entered a contest and ended up winning a few acres of swamp land below the flood plane in Mississippi.Before I knew it, right after that I won a $250,000 house, so naturally I b... read more..

I'm writing a book about the recession. It starts with Chapter 11.... read more..

A new young bride calls her mother in tears.She sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him.""Now, now," her mother comforted, "I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding.""No, mother, you do... read more..

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.... read more..

Having been raised on CD's, I asked my hippie uncle how records were in the old days. He said, "Groovy."... read more..

A woman meant to call a record store but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead. "Do you have 'Eyes of Blue' and 'A Love Supreme'?" she asked."Well, no," answered the puzzled homeowne... read more..

The chief of staff of the Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in a recruiting crisis affecting all of our armed services. So he directed that a nearby Air Force base be opened and th... read more..

A man opens his refrigerator, and the mayonnaise yells, "Close the door! I'm dressing!"... read more..

The game show contestant was only 200 points behind the leader and about to answer the final question - worth 500 points!"To be today's champion," the show's smiling host intoned, "name two of Santa's... read more..

(This is an absolutely aweful pun - included here only because I know some of you sick pun lovers need your fix of torturing co-workers with it all day.)As you know, it is very important for Santa and read more..

It was the night before Christmas when Santa Claus' sleigh team became one member short because of a sudden illness.When an inflatable plastic reindeer was used to fill the void in the team, so no one... read more..

Village Dry Cleaners has relocated to High Street, right next door to St. Joseph's Church.After March 1, Cleanliness Is Next to Godliness.... read more..

An amateur genealogical researcher discovered that his great-great uncle, Remus Starr, a fellow lacking in character, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889. The only known... read more..

"Those who research and write about diseases could become ill-literate." read more..

Asked why she was leaving her position, a secretary explained in her letter of resignation: "Dear Boss, My reason for leaving will soon be apparent - and so will I. Signed: Mary."... read more..

Did you hear about the new restaurant chain opening nationwide? It is a partnership between Kareem Abdul Jabarr, Ryan Coffee, and Sugar Ray Leonard.They're going to call it: "Coffee, with Kareem and S... read more..

I was having dinner at a nice restaurant the other night. The couple at the next table were smooching from the moment they sat down. Oh how romantic, young love! But I couldn't figure out what was goi... read more..