2011 - Monthly Archive - Results from #1710

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2029

Recipe Pun

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3294

Record Pun

Having been raised on CD's, I asked my hippie uncle how records were in the old days. He said, "Groovy."... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2590

A woman meant to call a record store but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead. "Do you have 'Eyes of Blue' and 'A Love Supreme'?" she asked."Well, no," answered the puzzled homeowne... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

4563

Recruiting Pun

The chief of staff of the Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in a recruiting crisis affecting all of our armed services. So he directed that a nearby Air Force base be opened and th... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

5372

Refrigerator

A man opens his refrigerator, and the mayonnaise yells, "Close the door! I'm dressing!"... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1862

Reindeer Answer

The game show contestant was only 200 points behind the leader and about to answer the final question - worth 500 points!"To be today's champion," the show's smiling host intoned, "name two of Santa's... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2364

Reindeer Problem

(This is an absolutely aweful pun - included here only because I know some of you sick pun lovers need your fix of torturing co-workers with it all day.)As you know, it is very important for Santa and read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

5974

Reindeer Pun

It was the night before Christmas when Santa Claus' sleigh team became one member short because of a sudden illness.When an inflatable plastic reindeer was used to fill the void in the team, so no one... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2043

Relocation

Village Dry Cleaners has relocated to High Street, right next door to St. Joseph's Church.After March 1, Cleanliness Is Next to Godliness.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2154

Remuss Starr

An amateur genealogical researcher discovered that his great-great uncle, Remus Starr, a fellow lacking in character, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889. The only known... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2061

Research

"Those who research and write about diseases could become ill-literate." read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2104

Resignation Letter

Asked why she was leaving her position, a secretary explained in her letter of resignation: "Dear Boss, My reason for leaving will soon be apparent - and so will I. Signed: Mary."... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1954

Restaurant Chain

Did you hear about the new restaurant chain opening nationwide? It is a partnership between Kareem Abdul Jabarr, Ryan Coffee, and Sugar Ray Leonard.They're going to call it: "Coffee, with Kareem and S... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1876

Restaurant Excitement

I was having dinner at a nice restaurant the other night. The couple at the next table were smooching from the moment they sat down. Oh how romantic, young love! But I couldn't figure out what was goi... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3012

Restaurant Pun

I went into a French restaurant and asked the waiter, "Have you got frog'slegs?"He said, "Yes."So I said, "Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich."... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1965

Restaurants

"As the chef in the restaurant knows,The beluga is old, and it shows.For a food that's a tempter,It's caviar emptor:Beware of those secondhand roes!"- Chris Doyle read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1933

Returned Glasses

A woman walks in a store to return a pair of eyeglasses that she had purchased for her husband a week before. "What seems to be the problem, madam?""I'm returning these glasses I bought for my husband... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

15859

Rice Pun

A young woman really thought she'd been very patient, through a protracted period of dating with no talk of marriage. One night her steady boyfriend took her to a Chinese restaurant.As he perused the... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2429

Richard

Years ago there was a baker's assistant whose sole job was to pour the dough mixture for making sausage rolls (apparently the royal family loved sausage). Because people were identified by their profe... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2280

Right Pun

He's a forthright character: Right about a forth of the time.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

7459

Robbery Pun

Once some burglars broke out in the bank, one of them pointing the gun to the cashier said, "Give me all your money, or you'll be GEOGRAPHY!" The cashier laughed and said, "You mean to say HISTORY." T... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

11202

Robin Hood Pun

Robin Hood and his merry men were in Sherwood Forest one night celebrating, and imbibing. They all became inebriated. And then Friar Tuck began to sing. He became louder with each drink.Robin Hood,... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2058

Rock and Roll

With all the borscht they consume, I don't understand why Russians aren't the world's greatest rock stars. I mean, everyone knows that the heart of rock and roll is the beet.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

12214

Rock and Roll Pun

With all the borscht they consume, I don't understand why Russians aren't the world's greatest rock stars.I mean, everyone knows that the heart of rock and roll is the beet.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2676

Rock and Roll Re-Releases

Everybody is remaking their oldies hits! - Herman's Hermits - "Mrs. Brown, You've Got A Lovely Walker" - The Bee Gees - "How Can You Mend A Broken Hip" - The Temptations - "Papa's Got A Kidney Stone" ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2282

Rock Star Finder

The best way to find a screeching rock star is with a Heavy Metal Detector.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2007

Rock Store

A rock store was closed by the police.They were taking too much for granite.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

18289

Rodeo Pun

A young cowboy asked his father, "Do you think I can make a good living riding wild horses in a rodeo?"His dad replied, "You should get a couple of bucks out of it."... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2998

Rolex and Timex

A girl was visiting her friend who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.The friend responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.Her friend said, "Whoe... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2150

Room Question

My friend Judy was working at a Maine costal resort when she answered a call for information about the inn. After finishing the conversation, Judy stepped away from the desk. When the phone rang again... read more..