Monthly Archive

I went into a French restaurant and asked the waiter, "Have you got frog'slegs?"He said, "Yes."So I said, "Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich."... read more..

"As the chef in the restaurant knows,The beluga is old, and it shows.For a food that's a tempter,It's caviar emptor:Beware of those secondhand roes!"- Chris Doyle read more..

A woman walks in a store to return a pair of eyeglasses that she had purchased for her husband a week before. "What seems to be the problem, madam?""I'm returning these glasses I bought for my husband... read more..

A young woman really thought she'd been very patient, through a protracted period of dating with no talk of marriage. One night her steady boyfriend took her to a Chinese restaurant.As he perused the... read more..

Years ago there was a baker's assistant whose sole job was to pour the dough mixture for making sausage rolls (apparently the royal family loved sausage). Because people were identified by their profe... read more..

He's a forthright character: Right about a forth of the time.... read more..

Once some burglars broke out in the bank, one of them pointing the gun to the cashier said, "Give me all your money, or you'll be GEOGRAPHY!" The cashier laughed and said, "You mean to say HISTORY." T... read more..

Robin Hood and his merry men were in Sherwood Forest one night celebrating, and imbibing. They all became inebriated. And then Friar Tuck began to sing. He became louder with each drink.Robin Hood,... read more..

With all the borscht they consume, I don't understand why Russians aren't the world's greatest rock stars. I mean, everyone knows that the heart of rock and roll is the beet.... read more..

With all the borscht they consume, I don't understand why Russians aren't the world's greatest rock stars.I mean, everyone knows that the heart of rock and roll is the beet.... read more..

Everybody is remaking their oldies hits! - Herman's Hermits - "Mrs. Brown, You've Got A Lovely Walker" - The Bee Gees - "How Can You Mend A Broken Hip" - The Temptations - "Papa's Got A Kidney Stone" ... read more..

The best way to find a screeching rock star is with a Heavy Metal Detector.... read more..

A rock store was closed by the police.They were taking too much for granite.... read more..

A young cowboy asked his father, "Do you think I can make a good living riding wild horses in a rodeo?"His dad replied, "You should get a couple of bucks out of it."... read more..

A girl was visiting her friend who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.The friend responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.Her friend said, "Whoe... read more..

My friend Judy was working at a Maine costal resort when she answered a call for information about the inn. After finishing the conversation, Judy stepped away from the desk. When the phone rang again... read more..

A minister had just finished an excellent dinner at the home of a congregation member when he saw a rooster come strutting through the yard."That's certainly a proud-looking rooster," the minister com... read more..

Happy New Year everyone! It is my sincere hope and prayer that you have a peace filled and blessed 2004.Here is today's CleanPun.A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog's cross-eyed, is there... read more..

Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.... read more..

I've done a little searching in FBI files under the Freedom of Information Act. Turns out a few years ago, the Russians were looking to save money, as paying soldiers was getting to be a real dilemma... read more..

Ruth rode upon my motor bike, directly back of me.I hit a bump at 95, and rode on Ruthlessly.... read more..

Don't learn safety rules by accident.... read more..

While the driver is safer when the road is dry, the road is safer when the driver is dry.... read more..

While attending college, I worked evenings at a retail store. On slow nights my co-worker Susan would often sing along with the radio while we did paperwork or restocked merchandise.One evening as th... read more..

Safety is something a lot of people learn by accident.... read more..

We childproofed our home 3 years ago and they're still getting in!... read more..

Who was the smallest man in history?The sailor who went to sleep on his watch.... read more..

Blame Saint Andreas. Its all his fault.... read more..

A sandwich walks into a bar.The barman says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."... read more..

As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection. A thick slab of ham, a fresh bun, crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard. The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried ... read more..