2011 - Monthly Archive - Results from #1740

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2228

Rooster

A minister had just finished an excellent dinner at the home of a congregation member when he saw a rooster come strutting through the yard."That's certainly a proud-looking rooster," the minister com... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

4519

Rottweiler Pun

Happy New Year everyone! It is my sincere hope and prayer that you have a peace filled and blessed 2004.Here is today's CleanPun.A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog's cross-eyed, is there... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2044

Running Pun

Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2387

Russian Pun

I've done a little searching in FBI files under the Freedom of Information Act. Turns out a few years ago, the Russians were looking to save money, as paying soldiers was getting to be a real dilemma... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

6631

Ruth

Ruth rode upon my motor bike, directly back of me.I hit a bump at 95, and rode on Ruthlessly.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2138

Safety 1

Don't learn safety rules by accident.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1852

Safety 2

While the driver is safer when the road is dry, the road is safer when the driver is dry.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

5007

Safety Pun 1

While attending college, I worked evenings at a retail store. On slow nights my co-worker Susan would often sing along with the radio while we did paperwork or restocked merchandise.One evening as th... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

4478

Safety Pun 2

Safety is something a lot of people learn by accident.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2115

Safety Pun 3

We childproofed our home 3 years ago and they're still getting in!... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

5614

Sailor Pun

Who was the smallest man in history?The sailor who went to sleep on his watch.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2184

Saint Andreas

Blame Saint Andreas. Its all his fault.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1940

Sandwich

A sandwich walks into a bar.The barman says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2514

Sandwich Perfection

As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection. A thick slab of ham, a fresh bun, crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard. The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2196

School Books

“Walking To School The First Day Back” by Misty Bus “The Day the Car Pool Forgot Me” by I. Rhoda Bike “Can't See The Chalkboard” by Sidney Backrow “Practical Jokes I Played On The First Day Of School”... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2774

Scientist Escape

A scientist, unjustly accused and convicted of a major crime, found himself sentenced to hard time in a prison out in the Arizona desert. His cellmate turned out to be another scientist. Determined to... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2714

Scout Fix

A scoutmaster and his wife were driving along a rural highway when they found the road blocked by a herd of cows that had escaped through a broken fence.The scoutmaster tried beeping his horn to scare... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1931

Season Pun

Relief: What a tree does in the spring.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2014

Seat Warmers

Sam and Ruth from Maine had just bought a new car when winter hit with all its fury. "I wonder if the car has seat warmers," Ruth wondered. "It sure does," said Sam, looking through the owner's manu... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2617

Seder Pun

A group of medical researchers have published data indicating that Seder participants should NOT partake of both chopped liver and Charoses. It seems that this combination can lead to Charoses of the... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1779

Seder Pun 2

At our seder, we had whole wheat and bran matzoh fortified with Metamucil. The brand name is..."Let my people go."... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1760

See Counselling

One afternoon The Sea rolled into the office of Dr. Alfred Werner, clinical psychologist.The doctor smiled; he hadn't seen his old friend in ages. "Well, well! Long time no sea! How are you doing?" "S... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2567

Sermon Pun

Rabbi Bloom was getting quite a reputation for his sermons. His synagogue was always packed because his congregation didn't want to miss a single one of his words. One Sabbath, one member had to go ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1902

Service Pun

A chicken walks into a restaurantThe bartender says, "We don't serve poultry!"The chicken replies, "That's okay. I just want a salad."... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1817

Ship Pun

With ice covering his vessel's exterior, the old captain wasexperiencing a hard ship.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2131

Shipwrecked

A guy gets shipwrecked. When he wakes up, he's on a beach. The sand is dark red. He can't believe it. The sky is dark red. He walks around a bit and sees there is dark red grass, dark red birds and da... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2032

Shopping Center

"Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall." read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1739

Shopping Pun

"Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall." read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

4232

Shrink Pun

A man went into his shrink's office and says, "Doc, you have got to help me! Every night I keep dreaming that I'm a sports car. The other night I dreamed I was a Trans Am. Another night I dreamed I... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2650

Shyness

A certain man was infatuated with a young woman, but was so timid he never had the courage to speak to her. In fact, he even told his therapist that every time he got near her he felt like he was unim... read more..