2011 - Monthly Archive - Results from #1770

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

12578

Sibling Pun

A new neighbor asked the little girl next door if she had any brothers and sisters.She replied, "No, I'm the lonely child."... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3322

Driving through Southern California, I stopped at a roadside stand that sold fruit, vegetables, and crafts. As I went to pay, I noticed the young woman behind the counter was painting a sign. "Why t... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2720

Sign Pun 2

This is an original pun by list member Randy Foncree.There are many road signs, but there are some that just puzzle me: "No passing zone, no crossing zone, and even speed zone." Just answer me this, ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

9830

Silence Pun

At a wedding I attended, the priest called for a moment of silence to remember the faithful dead.As the church grew quiet, a little boy sitting in front of me turned to his father and said excitedly, ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

10983

Silk Pun

As we all know silk comes from silk worms, and no amount of experiment had been successful in industrializing the production of silk. Till Harvey came along that is ....He came up with an ingenious n... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2306

Singing Fish

Jimmy: 'Hey, Mike! How's your new pet fish doing? You told me he was really something special.' Mike: 'To tell the truth, I'm really disappointed in him. The guy who sold him to me said I could teach ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1980

Singing Out

He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3951

Singing Pun

While attending college, I worked evenings at a retail store.On slow nights my co-worker Susan would often sing along with the radio while we did paperwork or restocked merchandise.One evening as the ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1839

Singing Type

"What kind of music do you sing?""Aqua-pella." read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1738

Sister Mary

There was this nun named Sister Mary who, though she tried and tried, could never please the Mother Superior.One day she comes up with an idea: Since the abbey was always cold, she decided to cut some... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2050

Situation Puns

Randy W., of Los Angeles, put his mind to the oft-experienced problem of facing modern situations for which there are no existing words or phrases in the English language. The following are his sugge... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

7224

Skunk

A skunk family was cornered by a pack of wolves.The mama skunk said to her babies, "Let us spray."... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2544

Sleep Pun

A wife and husband both talked in their sleep. She loved auctions; his hobby was golf.The other night, the man yelled, "Fore!"His wife yelled back, "Four Fifty!"... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

8886

Smell Pun

Trying to control my dry hair, I treated my scalp with olive oil before washing it. Worried that the oil might leave an odor, I washed my hair several times. That night when I went to bed, I leaned ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

4099

Smog Pun

California smog test: Can UCLA?... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

14605

Snail Pun

There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow. He decided to get some fast wheels to make up the difference.After shopping around a while, he decided that the Dats... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3262

Snake Pun 1

One day I was walking across my yard and saw in the garden a stem of a winter onion with "sets" on top. It had grown quite crooked and resembled a snake. I got my camera and took a picture of it. W... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2196

Snake Pun 2

Noah opens up the ark and lets all the animals out, telling them to "Go forth and multiply."As he's closing the great doors of the ark he notices that there are two snakes sitting in a dark corner. S... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2013

Snow White Photos

Snow White took photos of the Dwarfs and their surroundings. She took the film to be developed. After a week or so she went to get the finished photos.The clerk said the photos were not back from the ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

4329

Soccer Pun 1

David Beckham, the famous English soccer player, is teaching his new son Romeo the finer points about soccer. After a while Romeo asks his Dad what number he should have on his uniform when he starts... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3846

Soccer Pun 2

Followers of the tiny Scottish soccer club Inverness Caledonain-Thistle refer to the club as "Caley." The team delighted fans one winter when it eliminated heavily favored Glasgow Celtic 3-1 in the S... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2496

Son Pun

The conservative businessman got on the elevator and curtly asked the bellboy to take him to the 18th floor.When he arrived the young operator said, "Here you are, son!""How dare you call me son!?!" e... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

4639

Songs For Bible Characters

*The Songs For Bible Characters*Noah: "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head"Adam and Eve: "Strangers in Paradise"Lazarus: "The Second Time Around"Esther: "I Feel Pretty"Job: "I've Got a Right to Sing the read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

7238

Soup Pun

When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed."Good night!," he said, "What is this?""Why, it's bean soup," she replied."I don't care ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2198

Space News

"I have just learned that we do have the film of the astronauts' breakfast, which should be coming up shortly."- Frank McGee of NBC News during the course of a Gemini space flight. read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1775

Specialty Store

I was travelling to Seattle on business. Knowing how the weather is up there (and lacking the proper clothing), I went to a local outdoor shop for a inclement weather clothing. Not finding what I wa... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2215

Speeding

The state trooper pulled Dr. Schwartz over and, after inspecting his license and registration, informed the motorist that he was going to have to spend the night in jail. "What's the charge? Dr. Sch... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1996

Spoiled

Too many clicks spoil the browse.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

9099

Spooky Puns

Q: What is Frankenstein's favorite waterway?A: The Eerie Canal.Q: What is a ghosts favorite ride at the midway?A: A roller ghoster!!Q: Why does the Mummy keep his Band-aids in the refrigerator?A: He w... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1879

St. Andreas

One of the more important of the Patron Saints is St. Andreas (in Spanish - San Andreas)... The patron saint of generosity.In fact, people say he was generous to a fault.... read more..