2011 - Monthly Archive - Results from #1800

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

9112

Stained Glass

A young minister was filling in for Norman Vincent Peal at Marblegate Cathedral. Ascending the pulpit he looked at the magnificent colored glass windows and told the congregation: "You know, these bea... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1800

Stallions

Two show stallions are arguing over who should take best of breed.The first says, "I'll grant you are the closest I have ever seen to my equal, but my legs are just a bit straighter than yours, and, y... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1830

Star Wars Eating

Luke and Obi-Wan are in a Chinese restaurant having a meal. Obi-Wan is deftly manipulating his chopsticks with the ease you'd expect from a Jedi Master.Anyway, poor old Luke is having a hard time, usi... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

5060

Stationary

"No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationary." read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3054

Statistic Pun

More than five million American women are overweight. These, of course, are round figures.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1890

Statue Discovery

Two archeologists, exploring a remote mountain in Tibet came across a huge granite statue which resembled a sitting man. It stood almost 400 foot tall, and its bodily details were accurate down to the... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

6012

Stereo Speaker

"One of my stereo's speakers is out," said Tom monotonously. read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

9032

Stock Market Pun

It's not just the stock market that's been telegraphing "trouble" about the economy. The price of thoroughbreds has matched Wall Street's gyrations. Yearlings that sold for an average of $27,295 in ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2365

Stocking Purchase

Walking into a lingerie store, a customer says to the clerk, "I'd like to buy a pair of stockings for my wife."The clerk asks, "Sheer?"The man replies "No. She's in another store."... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1956

Stocks

An American history teacher, lecturing the class on the Puritans, asked: "What sort of people were punished in the stocks?" To which a small voice from the back of the room responded: "The small inves... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

14350

Stone Statue

I couldn't believe that the statue was not made of stone. Next time, I won't take a work of art for granite.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

6048

Stopping Pun

I had given our daughter, who was 14 at the time, a drivers manual. On the way to town one day, I was coaching her as I drove. I told her to be studying her book so as to be ready when it came time ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

9564

Strawberry Pun

A guy walks into a doctor's office with a strawberry growing out of his head.The doctor says, "I'll give you some cream to put on it."... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

4294

Strike Pun

The workers at the Federal Mint went on strike today. They are demanding to make less money!... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2140

Student Pun

The other day I saw school students applying cosmetics. They were taking a makeup test.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1922

Sugar Pig

Ben: One of our pigs was sick so I gave him some sugar.Dan: Sugar! What for?Ben: Haven't you ever heard of sugar-cured ham?... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1713

Suit Purchase

He said he bought his suit for a ridiculous price.The truth is, he bought it for an absurd figure.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3380

Sun Pun

Did you hear about the goober who stayed up all night wondering where the sun went?It finally dawned on him.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

4849

Sunbathing Pun

Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2402

Sunday School Pun

A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question."Boys and girls, what do we know about God?"A hand shot up in the air."He is an artist!" said the kindergarten boy."Really?! How do you know?"... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

13225

Sunrise

One morning a man got up early to watch the sun rise.As he sat in the dark it suddenly dawned on him!... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3904

Sure Is

An old couple was just settling in to bed one night when the phone rang. The husband got out of bed and went into the living room to answer the phone. His wife could hear him say, "Hello?" Then he ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3727

Anesthetic Pun

If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one here. A goober was making his first visit to a hospital where his teenage son was about to have an operation. Watching the doctor's e... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2978

Swallowed Coins

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, "No change yet."... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

6642

Sweat

Sweat: Workman's Condensation... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

8104

Sweater Pun

A grandmother sent her grandson a sweater for his birthday.Unfortunately, he had a size 14 neck and she sent a size 12 sweater. His mother insisted that he send a thank you note.So he wrote, "Dear Gr... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3688

Swimming Friends

Morty and Saul, are out one afternoon on a lake when their boat starts sinking. Saul the banker says to Morty, "So listen, Morty, you know I don't swim so well." Morty remembered how to carry another ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2380

Syntax

Syntax is all the money collected at church from sinners.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1846

Table For Eight

A Jewish couple won twenty-million dollars in the lottery. They immediately set out to begin a life of luxury. They bought a magnificent mansion estate in Southampton and surrounded themselves with ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2462

Tackle Box

On her 15th birthday, my daughter opened a package from her mom and her sisters. Out came a beauty case containing many samples of makeup."Neat!" I exclaimed. "Your own tackle box!"My wife calmly expl... read more..