2011 - Monthly Archive - Results from #1830

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1945

Tail Whacker

A woman was working in her yard with the weed whacker, when she accidentally cut off the tail of her cat.She ran screaming into the house, and told her husband, wondering what to do.He replied calmly,... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1960

Talking Dog

I have a dog that talks in its sleep. One day a visitor was astonished to hear the dog bellow, "My name is Christopher Columbus! I am seven hundred years old! I own America! I married Marilyn Monroe!"... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

17811

Tall Pun

I was in the kitchen one day, trying to reach the baking powder on the top shelf of a cabinet. Being only five feet tall, I had to stretch, but still couldn't grab the box.Fortunately, I have two six... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3424

Tank-Top

"I don't know why my wife is mad at me for the tank top she wanted for her Christmas present. I found the turret but just could not get anyone to sell me the howitzer."- Lawrence Brotherton read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

14824

Tape Pun

I need some duct tape - my duck has a quack in it.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

8208

Tater Puns

Sweet, Red, and Idaho are all favorite kinds of taters (potatoes). Here are some lesser known ones.1. Some people are very bossy and like to tell everyone what to do, but of course they do not wish ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2836

Taxidermist's Sign

Seen on a Taxidermist's sign:"We really know our stuff."... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2212

Tea

George loved tea. He'd always come over for several cups. He had an insatiable thirst. He became such a nuisance that we decided to fix him.To cure him of all desire for tea, we decided to drown him w... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2782

Tea Pun

Many people assume that Earl Gray tea got its name by being the favorite of that English earl. However, it seems that there is a small town in Wales named Earl Gray where the town's citizens are gett... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1857

Teller Postion

First man: I hear the First National Bank is looking for a new teller. Second man: I thought they just hired a new teller last week. First man: Right. That's the one they're looking for.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

9994

Temperature Pun

Q - Which one is faster, hot or cold?A - Hot -- because everyone knows how easy it is to catch a cold.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

9094

Tequila

A ten-year-old girl asked and received help from a librarian on how to use the card catalog. In a little while, the girl approached the librarian again, wanting to know how to spell "tequila.""T-e-q-u... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2300

Terrace Water

My wife and I were having lunch at a fashionable eatery in Annapolis when we noticed what looked like a familiar face at the next table. Screwing up my courage, I asked, "Excuse me. Aren't you Marlin ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2402

Texas Banter

When I attended a convention once of oil men, the first speaker was from Texas. He rambled on about nonsense for a good half hour and then introduced the next gent, who happened to be from Oklahoma. T... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1923

The A Team Inc.

The A Team, With apologies to the TV Program. A Jerry Ulett Original.John and Mark of The A-Team, Inc, were noted for their abilities to solve any computer problem.Their greatest challenge was to crea... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1939

The Cowboy's New Car

Three cowboys were hanging out in the bunkhouse."I know that smart alec Tex" said the first. "He's going to start bragging about that new foreign car he ought as soon as he gets back""Not Tex" said th... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3492

The Sea

What does the sea say to the sand?Not much. It usually just waves.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2727

Theft Pun

It was reported in today's news that some frosty orange drinks were stolen. The police suspect it is the work of a Julius seizer.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2164

Thesaurus

Thesaurus: ancient reptile with an excellent vocabulary.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3435

Three Little Piggies

Three little piggies went out to dinner one night. The waiter came and took their orders for drinks."I would like a Sprite," said the first little piggy."I would like a glass of Coke," said the second... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3386

Three Pack of Puns mx22

Cat show judge: PurrfectionistDislike of a relative: AuntagonismDifferent place to get married: Altarnative... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2196

Ticket Collection

"What am I supposed to do with this?" grumbled a motorist as the policeman handed him a speeding ticket."Keep it," the cop said, "when you collect four of them you get a bicycle." read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2084

Ticket Explanation

Her car was speeding along Interstate 80 at well over 80 miles an hour when it passed by a State Trooper. Obviously, the officer was compelled to pull the young female driver over and he asked to see ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

6484

Ticket Pun 1

A guy was in court charged with parking in a restricted area. The judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defense."They shouldn't put up such misleading notices," said the guy. "The sign sa... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

4861

Tickle Pun 2

Q: How do you tickle a rich girl?A: Say, "Gucci Gucci Gucci!"... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2303

Tickled

I'm tickled to be the chairman of the Society for People with Super-Sensitive Feet.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

11528

Tie Pun

A man goes into a restaurant and the maitre'd stops him."Sorry sir, you need to wear a tie to enter".So the man goes back to his car and looks around, but there's no necktie to be found. So he takes ... read more..