2011 - Monthly Archive - Results from #1860

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2564

Today's Market Activity

Helium was up.Feathers were down.Paper was stationary.Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading.Knives were up sharply.Cows steered into a bull market.Pencils lost a few points.Hiking equipment w... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2528

Toilet Theft

Police in New Zealand were mystified by the apparent theft of a complete toilet bowl from a police station in Auckland.When a local news reporter asked the police sergeant if they had any leads, he re... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2276

Toilet Training

Toilet training a young child is always a matter of pot luck.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2013

Tolkein Pun

Reading the work of J.R.R. Tolkein is hobbit forming.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2280

Tollboth

When the driver of a huge trailer lost control of his rig, he plowed into an empty tollbooth and smashed it to pieces. He climbed down from the wreckage and within a matter of minutes, a truck pulled ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

13297

Tomato Pun

A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a re... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2308

Tomb Visit

I refuse to visit Marx's tomb because it's all just a communist plot.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2494

Too Much Sugar

A fellow nurse at my hospital received a call from an anxious woman. "I'm diabetic and I'm afraid I've had too much sugar today," she said."Are you light-headed?" my colleague asked."No," the caller a... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

4433

Tool Booth Pun

When the driver of a huge trailer lost control of his rig, he plowed into an empty tollbooth and smashed it to pieces. He climbed down from the wreckage and within a matter of minutes, a truck pulled... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2806

Towing Sign

Seen on a sign at a Towing Company:"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2135

Toy Store

This weekend while shopping in a local toy store, I came across a long line of people waiting for a promised shipment of dolls from Mattel. As I scanned the line, I noticed a friend waiting with all ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

8204

Tractor Pun

As a young boy, Joe was completely obsessed with tractors.He had pictures of tractors all over his bedroom walls; he had tractor toys,tractor T-shirts, a tractor carpet, and duvet cover, the whole wor... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2406

Traffic Court

"The judge had not yet put in an appearance in the San Diego traffic court. When the bailiff entered the courtroom, he sensed the nervousness of the traffic offenders awaiting their ordeal."Good morni read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2946

Travel Pun

Time used to fly; now it's afraid of terrorists.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2945

Tree Pun

We have an old tree that became diseased and was losing its bark. We felt it needed a bark transplant and called a tree surgeon.The communication was mangled and when the surgeon arrived, he went to ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2799

Trooper Pun

The state trooper pulled Mr. Schwarz over and, after inspecting his license and registration, informed the motorist that he was going to have to spend the night in jail."What's the charge? Mr. Schwa... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

4611

Trouble Pun

"You look sad, Fred, what's the trouble?""Domestic trouble.""But you're always bragging that your wife is a pearl!""She really is. It's the mother-of-pearl that's giving me trouble!" read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

4367

Tug Boat Pun

Way down upon the Mississippi, two tugboat captains who had been friends for years, would always cry, "Aye!" and blow their whistles whenever they passed each other.A new crewman asked his ship's firs... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

5093

Tune Pun

I heard a little kid on the radio with a pretty good pun. "You can tune a piano, though you can't tuna fish, though they both have scales."... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

22719

Turtle Pun

My daughter was telling me about a trip to the zoo with her grandparents and how she saw a very large turtle who approached them. She exclaimed, "He was walking right tortoise!"... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2399

Twins Pun

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan."Years later, Juan sends a pictu... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3074

Unknown Reindeer Pun

The game show contestant was only 200 points behind the leader and about to answer the final question - worth 500 points!"To be today's champion," the show's smiling host intoned, "name two of Santa's... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2420

Upholstery Machine

Did you hear about the man who fell into an upholstery machine?He's fully recovered!... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1818

Urgent Code 33

It was April 1st, and in a small midwestern town, two rookie policemen were patrolling the downtown business area. They decided to stop into the local coffee shop for a coffee and a donut. The time wa... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

4431

Vandalism Pun

A news item this morning was about a local coal miner. It seems That his vocation was painting, but since he couldn't afford to buy canvasses he simply painted on the wall of his small cottage. Unfor... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2401

Vatican Card

The Vatican Express Card. Don't leave Rome without it.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2206

Vegetable Church

"Welcome to the Church of the Leafy Vegetable. Lettuce pray." read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

7697

Vet Pun

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?""Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3586

Vet Surgeon

Did you hear about the veterinarian who was barred from performing any surgery because he suffered from bouts of epilepsy?The cops busted him for attempting to operate on a sick predatory bird but the... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3766

Vet Visit Pun

A woman walks into a vet's waiting room. She's dragging a wet rabbit on a leash. The rabbit does not want to be there."Sit, Fluffy," she says.Fluffy glares at her, and sopping wet, jumps up on anoth... read more..