Monthly Archive

2011

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 3478 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2850

Window Pun 2

A preacher was called upon to substitute for the regular minister, who had failed to reach the church because he was delayed in a snowstorm. The speaker began by explaining the meaning of substitute.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2445

Wine Ad Pun

In California's Sonoma Valley, where vineyards cater to wine snobbery, a woman phoned the classified ad department of a newspaper. She offered for sale what sounded like "well-aged Caumeneur."The ad-... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2318

Winner Pun

A guy entered a contest and ended up winning a few acres of swampland in the Mississippi flood plain. He'd never won anything before - he couldn't believe it!So he entered another contest and won a $2... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1830

Winnings Pun

A couple months ago, I entered a contest and ended up winning a few acres of swamp land below the flood plane in Mississippi.Before I knew it, right after that I won a $250,000 house, so naturally I b... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2604

Wit Pun

I spend half my time being witty. That's why people call me a half wit.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1824

Wooden Parts

Two little boys were sitting on the dock talking. One little boy turned to the other little boy and said, "My grandfather has a wooden leg."The other little boy replied, "So what? My grandma has a c... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2129

Work Pun 1

A night watchman is a man who earns his living without doing a day's work.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2031

Work Pun 2

Stress management: What many employees like to do on purpose.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2512

WWJD Pun

Most people assume WWJD is for "What would Jesus do?" But the initials really stand for "What would Jesus drive?" One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because the Bible says, ... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
5536

X-Ray Failure

The medical student was shocked when he received a failing grade in radiology. Approaching the professor, he demanded to know the reason for the grade."You know the self X-ray you took?" asked the pro... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2356

X-Ray Lie

Never lie to an x-ray technician.They can see right through you.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2041

Yacht Refinancing

I went to my bank to refinance a loan on my yacht. Making small talk with the loan officer, I told her that she was the main reason I came to that branch.Not even looking up from her paperwork, the lo... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2251

You've Been Promoted

So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said "You've been promoted," and I swerved.Then he rang up a second time and said "You've been promoted again,"and I swerved aga... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3992

Zoo Pun

Cleaning out the aviary at a run-down zoo, the keeper finds two finches that have died of old age. He picks them up and places them in a sack. After cleaning the cage he puts the sack in his wheelba... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
4184

Zookeeper Pun

A man had started a new job at the zoo, after many months of being unemployed. He was determined to make a go of this job and on the first day he asked the Boss "What shall I do?""Clean out the fish ... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1676

One-liner #0001

“The key to success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you’ve got it made.” - Jean Giraudoux.... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1433

One-liner #0002

"A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1449

One-liner #0003

"A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1559

One-liner #0004

"A deceased atheist is a man who is all dressed up with no place to go!" read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1484

One-liner #0005

"A diplomatic husband said to his wife, 'How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older?'" read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1282

One-liner #0006

"A father is a guy who has snapshots in his wallet where his money used to be." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1444

One-liner #0007

"A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1372

One-liner #0008

"A healthy adult male consumes each year one-and-one-half times his own weight in other people's patience." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1361

One-liner #0009

"A key ring is a gadget that allows you to lose all your keys at once." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1442

One-liner #0010

"A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water." ­ Carl Reiner read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1295

One-liner #0011

"A man who correctly guesses a woman's age may be smartbut he's not very bright." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1434

One-liner #0012

"A penny saved is a Congressional spending oversight." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1298

One-liner #0013

"A penny saved is just another thing for the cat to knock off of the dresser." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1309

One-liner #0014

"A procrastinator's work is never done." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1423

One-liner #0015

"A reasent studdi haz shon dat peepal hoo aar werry samaarat end gudd lukeeng mak manee spallings misstake... Vatt iz yorr opeeneum?" read more..