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2011
Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of
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Search
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1384
One-liner #0016
"A scientist can discover a new star, but he cannot make one. He would have to ask an engineer to do that."~Gordon L. Glegg, American Engineer, 1969
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1363
One-liner #0017
"A smart husband buys his wife very fine china so she won't trust him to wash it."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1516
One-liner #0018
"A stitch in time would have confused Einstein."
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1300
One-liner #0019
"Accomplishing the impossible only means the boss will add it to your regular duties."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1357
One-liner #0020
"According to the Academy of Incomplete Research, 9 out of 10."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1409
One-liner #0021
"Actually if ya think about it, you really don't need a whole lot of manners if you're driving a 35 ton truck."
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1363
One-liner #0022
"After years of uneventfully ordering a side of bacon with breakfast, you can image my surprise at the side of beef I ordered last night for dinner."- Scott E. Frank
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1355
One-liner #0023
"All good One-liners are one character too lon"
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1341
One-liner #0024
"All the world loves a lover - except people who are waiting to use the phone."- Milton Berle
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1381
One-liner #0025
"Always keep several get well cards on the mantle - if unexpected guests arrive, they'll think you've been sick and unable to clean."
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1361
One-liner #0026
"Amazing - you hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes!"
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1499
One-liner #0027
"Among the English language's many puzzling words is 'economy' which means the large size in toothpaste and the small size in automobiles."
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1438
One-liner #0028
"An employer is someone who is late when you're early and early when you're late."
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1454
One-liner #0029
"Anarchy is better than no government at all."
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1390
One-liner #0030
"Ancient Egyptians slept on pillows made of stone - that's actually what caused many of their deaths ... pillow fights."
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1382
One-liner #0031
"Anytime you have a 50/50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong."
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1522
One-liner #0032
"Are there any side effects to these pills apart from bankruptcy?"
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1502
One-liner #0033
"Are you breaking the law if you drive past those road signs that say "Do Not Pass"?"
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1391
One-liner #0034
"As a child, I was the kind my mother wouldn't let me play with."
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1317
One-liner #0035
"As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing."
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1336
One-liner #0036
"As a teenager you are in the last stage of life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you."~Fran Lebowitz
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1323
One-liner #0037
"As I said before, I never repeat myself."
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1409
One-liner #0038
"Ask me about my vow of silence."
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1396
One-liner #0039
"Assumption is the mother of all foul-ups."
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1321
One-liner #0040
"At my age, forget all the health food; I need all the preservatives I can get!"
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1391
One-liner #0041
"At my age, I can't see the forest OR the trees."
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1372
One-liner #0042
"At my age, I've seen it all, done it all, heard it all. I just can't remember it all."
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1363
One-liner #0043
"At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying."
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1562
One-liner #0044
"Ba-dee, ba-dee, ba-dee . . . . .that's all folks."- Porky Pig
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1372
One-liner #0045
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."~ Mark Twain
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