2011 - Monthly Archive - Results from #1980

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1303

One-liner #0046

"Be different; Conform." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1396

One-liner #0047

"Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for."~Will Rogers read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1332

One-liner #0048

"Before resolving to jog five miles a day, visit a cardiologist to have your heart examined, a podiatrist to have your feet examined and a psychiatrist to have your head examined. " read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1422

One-liner #0049

"Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?" read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1372

One-liner #0050

"Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1321

One-liner #0051

"Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1365

One-liner #0052

"Buffet" is a French term that means, "Get up and get it yourself."- Greg Ray read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1247

One-liner #0053

"Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1493

One-liner #0054

"By doing just a little every day, you can gradually let the task completely overwhelm you." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1329

One-liner #0055

"By the time you make ends meet, they move the ends." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1364

One-liner #0056

"Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1379

One-liner #0057

"Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn-shop?" read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1371

One-liner #0058

"Carbohydrates: The stuff that makes food taste good." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1422

One-liner #0059

"Cats regard people as warm-blooded furniture." - Jacquelyn Mitchard read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1411

One-liner #0060

"Centipede: An ant built to government specifications." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1355

One-liner #0061

"Chickens should learn to talk because nobody ever said let's go get a bucket of parrot." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1404

One-liner #0062

"Childhood is that wonderful time of life when all you need to do to lose weight is take a bath."- Richard Zera. read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1419

One-liner #0063

"Christmas -- when what to my wondering eyes should appear, but ten extra pounds on hip, thigh and rear!" read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1368

One-liner #0064

"Christmas is just like any day at the office - you do all the work and one guy in a suit gets all the credit." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1338

One-liner #0065

"Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like clearing the driveway before it has stopped snowing." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1378

One-liner #0066

"Cloning is the sincerest form of flattery." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1389

One-liner #0067

"College - The four year period when parents are permitted access to the telephone." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1482

One-liner #0068

"DIAPER spelled backward is REPAID; think about it." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1370

One-liner #0069

"Did you know that dolphins are so intelligent that, within only a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand at the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?" read more..