Monthly Archive

"Forget about world peace...visualize using your turn signal!" read more..

"Four-wheel-drive just means getting stuck in more inaccessible places." read more..

"Gas prices are so high that when this college girl pulled into a gas station and asked for 2 dollar's worth, the attendant dabbed some behind her ears." read more..

"Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and get rid of him for the day!" read more..

"Give a man a fish and feed him for a day.; give a man a stick of dynamite and soon the whole village will be strewn with mud, seaweed, and unidentifiable chunks of fish." read more..

"Give me ambiguity or give me something else." read more..

"Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle." read more..

"Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe." read more..

"Grandma used to set her hot baked apple pies on the window sill to cool - her granddaughters set theirs on the window sill to thaw." read more..

"Grass grows in direct proportion to your unwillingness to mow it." read more..

"Happiness can't buy money."- Bob Hope read more..

"Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked."- Jeff Pesis read more..

"Have a nice day...someplace else!" read more..

"Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee." read more..

"Help stamp out and eradicate superfluous redundancy." read more..

"His eye is on the sparrow--and on the turkey, too!" read more..

"Honk if you love Jesus! Text while driving if you want to meet Him." read more..

"Hors D'oeuvres - A sandwich cut into 20 pieces." read more..

"How do a fool and his money get together?" read more..

"How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?"- Satchel Paige read more..

"Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home."~ Bill Cosby read more..

"Hypochondriacs are sick." read more..

"I am not stupid - everyone else is just smarter than me." read more..

"I asked Mom if I was a gifted child...she said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me." read more..

"I bought my Christmas tree today. I think I made a mistake though. I bought the three year extended warranty. I don't think I need that."- Jay Leno read more..

"I could enjoy my second childhood more if I was able to peddle my tricycle a little faster." read more..

"I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top." read more..

"I don't know why some people change churches; what difference does it make which one you stay home from?" read more..

"I don't know why, but I've always found it difficult to make friends; know what I mean, Stupid?" read more..

"I don't know, I'm not in shape yet."~ Yogi Berra (when asked his cap size) read more..