2011 - Monthly Archive - Results from #2100

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1600

One-liner #0166

"If houseplants ever take over the world, I'm probably going to be sitting in shackles at their version of the Nuremberg trials."- Tim H. Richweis read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1512

One-liner #0167

"If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people?" read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1590

One-liner #0168

"If it is true that girls are inclined to marry men like their fathers, it is understandable why mothers cry at weddings." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1588

One-liner #0169

"If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?" read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1574

One-liner #0170

"If money won't make you happy, you won't like poverty either." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1529

One-liner #0171

"If Patrick Henry thought taxation was bad without representation... he should see it with!" read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1547

One-liner #0172

"If truth is beauty, how come no one gets their hair done in the library?"- Lily Tomlin read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1519

One-liner #0173

"If vegetarians love animals so much, why do they eat all their food?" read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1462

One-liner #0174

"If we are to learn anything of value from Star Trek, it's that the universe is filled with vastly different styles of foreheads." - Chris Needles read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1567

One-liner #0175

"If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?" read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1631

One-liner #0176

"If you are calling from a touch-tone phone, press one now - if you are calling from a rotary phone, hang up and call back from a touch-tone phone." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1664

One-liner #0177

"If you are good, you will be assigned all the work - if you are really good, you will get out of it." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1610

One-liner #0178

"If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1665

One-liner #0179

"If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1787

One-liner #0180

"If you ever find yourself being ripped apart by a pack of wolves, try not to scream - everybody knows wolves can smell fear."- Sean Alex read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1392

One-liner #0181

"If you haven't accomplished anything so far, then your best days are likely to be ahead of you - but then again, you should consider your track record." read more..