2011 - Monthly Archive - Results from #2130

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1289

One-liner #0196

"I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens."- Woody Allen read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1395

One-liner #0197

"I'm sorry. Am I driving too close in front of you?" read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1296

One-liner #0198

"I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch; my grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch."- Woody Allen read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1241

One-liner #0199

"In Congress someone gets up to speak and says nothing, nobody listens, and then they all disagree." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1301

One-liner #0200

"In light of the economic crisis, My family extending the 5 second rule for dropped food to 10 seconds, especially in the case of blueberries."- Rick Griffin read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1399

One-liner #0201

"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1228

One-liner #0202

"In this crazy world we live in, every 60 seconds a minute happens." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1250

One-liner #0203

"Irony: God made the tortoise with a 0.3 drag co-efficient." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1471

One-liner #0204

"It could be worse: there could be 35 teachers for every student." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1322

One-liner #0205

"It doesn't matter whether you win or lose, until you lose." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1353

One-liner #0206

"It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows."- Erma Bombeck read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1254

One-liner #0207

"It is bad to suppress laughter; it goes back down and spreads to your hips." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1266

One-liner #0208

"It is bad to suppress laughter; it goes back down and spreads to your hips." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1294

One-liner #0209

"It is never wise to let any piece of electronic equipment know that you are in a hurry." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1508

One-liner #0210

"It sure is easier to get Junior up for school since he got his nose ring." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1288

"It was different when we were kids; in second grade, a teacher came in and gave us all a lecture about not smoking, and then they sent us over to arts and crafts to make ashtrays for Mother's Day."- read more..