2011 - Monthly Archive - Results from #2160

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1219

One-liner #0226

"Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister and now wish to withdraw that statement."- Mark Twain read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1313

One-liner #0227

"Lecturing is transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1323

One-liner #0228

"Light sabers don't kill people. Jedi Knights kill people." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1323

One-liner #0229

"Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.”~ Mary Schmich read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1258

One-liner #0230

"Livestock usually is a poor choice for a wedding gift." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1282

One-liner #0231

"Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft - today, it's called golf." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1346

One-liner #0232

"May thy ball lie in green pastures ... and not in still waters." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1267

One-liner #0233

"Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1329

One-liner #0234

"Money can't buy happiness - but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo" read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1246

One-liner #0235

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy ice cream, and that's close enough." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1298

One-liner #0236

"Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver."- Carol Malia, BBC Anchorwoman read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1313

One-liner #0237

"Most food cannot be kept longer than the average life span of a hamster - keep a hamster in your refrigerator to gauge this." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1439

One-liner #0238

"My father invented the burglar alarm - which unfortunately was stolen from him."- Victor Borge read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1348

One-liner #0239

"My favorite party game is 'Pin the Cleanup on the Guests.'" read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1244

One-liner #0240

"My girlfriend is at that stage when her biological clock is telling her it's time for her to be making me feel guilty and immature."- Kevin Hench read more..