Monthly Archive

"My girlfriend is at that stage when her biological clock is telling her it's time for her to be making me feel guilty and immature."- Kevin Hench read more..

"My home town was so small that the class valedictorian had both the highest & lowest averages." read more..

"My home town was so small that when it snows, salt is spread with a salad shooter." read more..

"My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying."~Ed Furgol read more..

"My memory's not as sharp as it used to be - also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be." read more..

"My mind works like lightning; one brilliant flash and it is gone." read more..

"My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right." read more..

"My parents want me to have the things they didn't have when they were kids - like, all As on every report card." read more..

"My wife and I had words, but I didn't get to use mine." read more..

"My wife and I have a system for settling arguments We just talk and talk until she's right." read more..

"My wife has a slight impediment in her speech - every now and then she stops to breathe."~ Jimmy Durante read more..

"My wild oats have turned into bran flakes." read more..

"Never do anything that you'd be ashamed to tell a paramedic." read more..

"Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time." read more..

"Never run out of altitude, air speed, & ideas at one time." read more..

"Never trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent." read more..

"No matter how busy people are, most are never too busy to stop and talk about how busy they are." read more..

"No matter how busy people are, they are never too busy to stop and talk about how busy they are." read more..

"Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes - there's just too much fraternizing with the enemy." read more..

"Nostalgia: A sentiment that combines yesterday's prices and today's incomes." read more..

"Nutrition Facts are too depressing - how about some Nutrition Fiction?" read more..

"Okay, I have a million awesome clip art images. Now what?" read more..

"One good thing about being wrong is the joy it brings to others." read more..

"One way to stop a run away horse is to bet on him." read more..

"Only one shopping day left until tomorrow." read more..

"Originality is merely undetected plagiarism." read more..

"Our goal to promote a non-threatening and productive office environment is to establish language that is gender-neutral, ethnic-neutral, and age-neutral while celebrating our spirit of diversity." read more..

"Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend; inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."~ Groucho Marx read more..

"People are forever calling me a hypochondriac, and, let me tell you, thatmakes me sick." - Sandra Wilson read more..

"People are forever calling me a hypochondriac, and, let me tell you, that makes me sick." read more..