Monthly Archive

2011

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 3478 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1303

One-liner #0286

"Santa must be a man because no woman is going to wear the same outfit year after year." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1318

One-liner #0287

"Save the earth - it's the only planet with chocolate." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1469

One-liner #0288

"Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1321

One-liner #0289

"Sign on the door of a marriage license bureau: 'Out to Lunch. Think it over.'" read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1313

One-liner #0290

"Since the creation of the Internet, the Earth's rotation has been fueled, primarily, by the collective spinning of English teachers in their graves." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1321

One-liner #0291

"Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1257

One-liner #0292

"Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1302

One-liner #0293

"Some people have a way with words - others not have way." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1319

One-liner #0294

"Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be."- Rita Rudner read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1370

One-liner #0295

"Stay clear of those folks, Martha; if they get raptured, that car's gonna be all over the road." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1429

One-liner #0296

"STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backward." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1249

One-liner #0297

"Support the metric system every inch of the way!" read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1465

One-liner #0298

"Taxation WITH representation ain't much fun either." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1339

One-liner #0299

"Technology is dominated by two types of people: Those who understand what they do not manage. Those who manage what they do not understand." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1330

One-liner #0300

"Television has brought back murder into the home where it belongs."- Alfred Hitchcock. read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1337

One-liner #0301

"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not - Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?" read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1311

One-liner #0302

"The Bureau of Incomplete Statistics reports that one out of three." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1294

One-liner #0303

"The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good ... spit it out." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1279

One-liner #0304

"The chance of forgetting something is directly proportional to ..... to ........ uh ...........…" read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1469

One-liner #0305

"The difference between a computer expert and a novice is that the novice hesitates before doing anything stupid." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1387

One-liner #0306

"The first myth of management is that it exists." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1324

One-liner #0307

"The flight attendant will always tell you the name of your pilot - like anyone goes, 'Oh, he's good. I like his work.'"- David Spade read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1323

One-liner #0308

"The human brain is a wonderful thing: it starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1274

One-liner #0309

"The income tax form has been simplified beyond all understanding." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1253

One-liner #0310

"The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates."~Dave Barry read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1354

One-liner #0311

"The main problem with mental notes is the ink fades so fast." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1392

One-liner #0312

"The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1317

One-liner #0313

"The most enjoyable way to follow a vegetable diet is to let the cow eat it, and then eat the cow." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1326

One-liner #0314

"The obituaries in the newspaper prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that people die in alphabetical order." read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1475

One-liner #0315

"The older I get, the faster I was." read more..