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2011
Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of
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Search
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1303
One-liner #0286
"Santa must be a man because no woman is going to wear the same outfit year after year."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1318
One-liner #0287
"Save the earth - it's the only planet with chocolate."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1469
One-liner #0288
"Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1321
One-liner #0289
"Sign on the door of a marriage license bureau: 'Out to Lunch. Think it over.'"
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1313
One-liner #0290
"Since the creation of the Internet, the Earth's rotation has been fueled, primarily, by the collective spinning of English teachers in their graves."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1321
One-liner #0291
"Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1257
One-liner #0292
"Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1302
One-liner #0293
"Some people have a way with words - others not have way."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1319
One-liner #0294
"Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be."- Rita Rudner
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1370
One-liner #0295
"Stay clear of those folks, Martha; if they get raptured, that car's gonna be all over the road."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1429
One-liner #0296
"STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backward."
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1249
One-liner #0297
"Support the metric system every inch of the way!"
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1465
One-liner #0298
"Taxation WITH representation ain't much fun either."
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1339
One-liner #0299
"Technology is dominated by two types of people: Those who understand what they do not manage. Those who manage what they do not understand."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1330
One-liner #0300
"Television has brought back murder into the home where it belongs."- Alfred Hitchcock.
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1337
One-liner #0301
"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not - Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1311
One-liner #0302
"The Bureau of Incomplete Statistics reports that one out of three."
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1294
One-liner #0303
"The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good ... spit it out."
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1279
One-liner #0304
"The chance of forgetting something is directly proportional to ..... to ........ uh ...........…"
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1469
One-liner #0305
"The difference between a computer expert and a novice is that the novice hesitates before doing anything stupid."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1387
One-liner #0306
"The first myth of management is that it exists."
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1324
One-liner #0307
"The flight attendant will always tell you the name of your pilot - like anyone goes, 'Oh, he's good. I like his work.'"- David Spade
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1323
One-liner #0308
"The human brain is a wonderful thing: it starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1274
One-liner #0309
"The income tax form has been simplified beyond all understanding."
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1253
One-liner #0310
"The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates."~Dave Barry
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1354
One-liner #0311
"The main problem with mental notes is the ink fades so fast."
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1392
One-liner #0312
"The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once."
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1317
One-liner #0313
"The most enjoyable way to follow a vegetable diet is to let the cow eat it, and then eat the cow."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1326
One-liner #0314
"The obituaries in the newspaper prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that people die in alphabetical order."
read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1475
One-liner #0315
"The older I get, the faster I was."
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