Monthly Archive

"People have been cooking and eating for thousands of years, so if you are the very first person to have thought of adding fresh lime juice to scalloped potatoes, try to understand that there must be read more..

"People never grow up; they just learn how to act in public." read more..

"Philosophers always arrive at the same conclusion: I don't know." read more..

"Political-campaign speeches are like horns: a point here, a point there, and a lot of bull in between." read more..

"Politicians and diapers have one thing in common - they should both be changed regularly and for the same reason." read more..

"Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other."- Oscar Ameringer read more..

"Pound for pound, the amoeba is the most vicious animal on earth." read more..

"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is w read more..

"Rain is caused by big, high-pressure areas; cold fronts; warm, moist air; and the first day of your vacation." read more..

"Rain is what makes flowers grow and taxis disappear." read more..

"Rain is what makes flowers grow and taxis disappear." read more..

"Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges." read more..

"Red meat is not bad for you - it's green fuzzy meat that's bad for you" read more..

"Responsibility: Something you should accept if, and only if, they have irrefutable photographic evidence." read more..

"ROME: Catholic theologians now concentrating on Problem of Evil after finally solving a Problem like Maria." read more..

"Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year."- Victor Borge read more..

"Santa must be a man because no woman is going to wear the same outfit year after year." read more..

"Save the earth - it's the only planet with chocolate." read more..

"Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark." read more..

"Sign on the door of a marriage license bureau: 'Out to Lunch. Think it over.'" read more..

"Since the creation of the Internet, the Earth's rotation has been fueled, primarily, by the collective spinning of English teachers in their graves." read more..

"Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield." read more..

"Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant." read more..

"Some people have a way with words - others not have way." read more..

"Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be."- Rita Rudner read more..

"Stay clear of those folks, Martha; if they get raptured, that car's gonna be all over the road." read more..

"STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backward." read more..

"Support the metric system every inch of the way!" read more..

"Taxation WITH representation ain't much fun either." read more..

"Technology is dominated by two types of people: Those who understand what they do not manage. Those who manage what they do not understand." read more..