2011 - Monthly Archive - Results from #2250

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1435

One-liner #0316

"The only thing that wakes you up faster than coffee is spilled coffee." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1302

One-liner #0317

"The only time a windshield wiper will work properly is when it's holding a parking ticket." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1365

One-liner #0318

"The other day I nearly succumbed to a bout of narcissism: seriously, I just don't know what's come over me, me, me, me." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1374

One-liner #0319

"The police have stopped my husband so many times for speeding, they decided to just give him a season ticket." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1414

One-liner #0320

"The reason congressmen try so hard to get re-elected is that they would hate to have to make a living under the laws they've passed." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1330

One-liner #0321

"The sandwich dates back to the time man discovered he could not live bybread alone." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1290

One-liner #0322

"The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible."- George Burns read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1361

One-liner #0323

"The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office."~Will Rogers read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1379

One-liner #0324

"The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us."- Calvin and Hobbes - Bill Watterson read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1328

One-liner #0325

"The tooth fairy teaches children that they can sell body parts for money."- David Richerby read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1445

One-liner #0326

"The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1302

One-liner #0327

"The trouble with eating at an all-you-can-eat restaurant is that five or six days later you're hungry again." read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1313

One-liner #0328

"The U.N. is a place where governments opposed to free speech demand to be heard!" read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1357

One-liner #0329

"The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down." read more..