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2011
Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of
3478
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Search
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1617
One-liner #0406
“A person who can smile when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1517
One-liner #0407
“A watched clock never boils.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1544
One-liner #0408
“A woman's work is never done. So why bother?”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1535
One-liner #0409
“All I want is a warm bed, a kind word, and unlimited power.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1549
One-liner #0410
“Allowance is what you pay your kids to live with you.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1612
One-liner #0411
“An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have - the older she gets the more interested he is in her.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1514
One-liner #0412
“Anuther grate mind ruened bi thu educashin sistym.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1458
One-liner #0413
“As a child, I was the kind my mother wouldn't let me play with.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1612
One-liner #0414
“As I learn the innermost secrets of the people around me, they reward me in many ways to keep me quiet.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1462
One-liner #0415
“As soon as I get some grip on reality, I'm going to choke it.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1536
One-liner #0416
“Ask me about my vow of silence.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1735
One-liner #0417
“Be different: conform.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1528
One-liner #0418
“Before you criticize someone, make sure you've walked a mile in their shoes. That way, you're a mile away AND you have their shoes!”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1632
One-liner #0419
“Being vague is just as bad as that other thing.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1529
One-liner #0420
“Birds of a feather flock together and aim for your car.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1559
One-liner #0421
“Birthdays are good for you ... the more you have the longer you live.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1512
One-liner #0422
“Blessed are those who expect nothing, for they shall not be disappointed.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1575
One-liner #0423
“Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1593
One-liner #0424
“Bumper sticker on Wall Street: My other Porsche is for sale.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1585
One-liner #0425
“Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the drive before it has stopped snowing.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1576
One-liner #0426
“Computer message I'd like to see: Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1581
One-liner #0427
“Computers are not intelligent; they only think they are.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1479
One-liner #0428
“Confidence is that feeling you have just before you fully understand the situation.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1546
One-liner #0429
“Confidence is what you feel before you comprehend the situation.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1601
One-liner #0430
“Denial: How an optimist keeps from becoming a pessimist.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1550
One-liner #0431
“Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1599
One-liner #0432
“Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I drive by again?”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1662
One-liner #0433
“Don't bother me; I'm living happily ever after.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1632
One-liner #0434
“Don't let people drive you crazy when you know it's in walking distance.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1586
One-liner #0435
“Employment applications always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency; I think you should write "911"!”
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