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2011
Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of
3445
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2025 (236)
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Search
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1722
One-liner #0434
“Don't let people drive you crazy when you know it's in walking distance.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1679
One-liner #0435
“Employment applications always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency; I think you should write "911"!”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1924
One-liner #0436
“Everyone is entitled to my opinion.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1401
One-liner #0437
“Everyone is on this low-fat craze now; the Mayo Clinic just changed its name to the Balsamic Vinaigrette Clinic.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1472
One-liner #0438
“Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1453
One-liner #0439
“Experience: A comb life gives you after you lose your hair.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1477
One-liner #0440
“Fools rush in...and get all the best seats.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1742
One-liner #0441
“Golden Rule: He who has the gold makes the rules.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1630
One-liner #0442
“He who hesitates is not only lost but is miles from the next exit.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1643
One-liner #0443
“Here lies Ezekial Aikle age 102 - the Good Die Young.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1865
One-liner #0444
“Here's a joke for all you mind readers out there...”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1457
One-liner #0445
“He's a fine broth of a boy, too bad some of his noodles are missing.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1554
One-liner #0446
“Honk if you're rich, cute, and love horses.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1505
One-liner #0447
“How can the world end in 2012 when I have yogurt that expires in 2013?”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1610
One-liner #0448
“How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1744
One-liner #0449
“I am Popeye of Borg; prepare to be askimilgrated.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1638
One-liner #0450
“I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1367
One-liner #0451
“I can see how astronomers figure out the distance of the stars and their size and temperatures and all that, but what really gets me is how they find out what their names are!”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1459
One-liner #0452
“I don't have a solution, but I admire your problem.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1431
One-liner #0453
“I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.”~Will Rogers
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1405
One-liner #0454
“I doubt, therefore I might be.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1378
One-liner #0455
“I feel sorry for the guy who has to play the world's smallest violin - everybody just thinks he's being sarcastic.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1373
One-liner #0456
“I hope I live to be as old as my jokes.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1451
One-liner #0457
“I just read that YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook are merging - it'll be called You-Twit-Face.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1485
One-liner #0458
“I looked at my Christmas tree today and sure enough, I couldn’t see any forests..”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1481
One-liner #0459
“I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.”- Bernard Manning
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1692
One-liner #0460
“I smile because I have no idea what's going on.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1381
One-liner #0461
“I told a girl she drew her eyebrows to high – she looked surprised.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1722
One-liner #0462
“I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.”
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1579
One-liner #0463
“I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not sure.”
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Results 2341 - 2370 of 3445