Monthly Archive

2011

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 3478 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1617

One-liner #0406

“A person who can smile when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1517

One-liner #0407

“A watched clock never boils.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1544

One-liner #0408

“A woman's work is never done. So why bother?”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1535

One-liner #0409

“All I want is a warm bed, a kind word, and unlimited power.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1549

One-liner #0410

“Allowance is what you pay your kids to live with you.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1612

One-liner #0411

“An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have - the older she gets the more interested he is in her.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1514

One-liner #0412

“Anuther grate mind ruened bi thu educashin sistym.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1458

One-liner #0413

“As a child, I was the kind my mother wouldn't let me play with.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1612

One-liner #0414

“As I learn the innermost secrets of the people around me, they reward me in many ways to keep me quiet.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1462

One-liner #0415

“As soon as I get some grip on reality, I'm going to choke it.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1536

One-liner #0416

“Ask me about my vow of silence.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1735

One-liner #0417

“Be different: conform.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1528

One-liner #0418

“Before you criticize someone, make sure you've walked a mile in their shoes. That way, you're a mile away AND you have their shoes!”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1632

One-liner #0419

“Being vague is just as bad as that other thing.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1529

One-liner #0420

“Birds of a feather flock together and aim for your car.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1559

One-liner #0421

“Birthdays are good for you ... the more you have the longer you live.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1512

One-liner #0422

“Blessed are those who expect nothing, for they shall not be disappointed.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1575

One-liner #0423

“Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1593

One-liner #0424

“Bumper sticker on Wall Street: My other Porsche is for sale.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1585

One-liner #0425

“Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the drive before it has stopped snowing.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1576

One-liner #0426

“Computer message I'd like to see: Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1581

One-liner #0427

“Computers are not intelligent; they only think they are.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1479

One-liner #0428

“Confidence is that feeling you have just before you fully understand the situation.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1546

One-liner #0429

“Confidence is what you feel before you comprehend the situation.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1601

One-liner #0430

“Denial: How an optimist keeps from becoming a pessimist.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1550

One-liner #0431

“Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1599

One-liner #0432

“Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I drive by again?”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1662

One-liner #0433

“Don't bother me; I'm living happily ever after.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1632

One-liner #0434

“Don't let people drive you crazy when you know it's in walking distance.”... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1586

One-liner #0435

“Employment applications always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency; I think you should write "911"!”... read more..