2011 - Monthly Archive - Results from #2370

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1829

One-liner #0436

“Everyone is entitled to my opinion.”... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1302

One-liner #0437

“Everyone is on this low-fat craze now; the Mayo Clinic just changed its name to the Balsamic Vinaigrette Clinic.”... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1362

One-liner #0438

“Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.”... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1351

One-liner #0439

“Experience: A comb life gives you after you lose your hair.”... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1381

One-liner #0440

“Fools rush in...and get all the best seats.”... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1641

One-liner #0441

“Golden Rule: He who has the gold makes the rules.”... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1537

One-liner #0442

“He who hesitates is not only lost but is miles from the next exit.”... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1546

One-liner #0443

“Here lies Ezekial Aikle age 102 - the Good Die Young.”... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1765

One-liner #0444

“Here's a joke for all you mind readers out there...”... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1350

One-liner #0445

“He's a fine broth of a boy, too bad some of his noodles are missing.”... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1433

One-liner #0446

“Honk if you're rich, cute, and love horses.”... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1396

One-liner #0447

“How can the world end in 2012 when I have yogurt that expires in 2013?”... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1498

One-liner #0448

“How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?”... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1641

One-liner #0449

“I am Popeye of Borg; prepare to be askimilgrated.”... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1540

One-liner #0450

“I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.”... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1271

One-liner #0451

“I can see how astronomers figure out the distance of the stars and their size and temperatures and all that, but what really gets me is how they find out what their names are!”... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1358

One-liner #0452

“I don't have a solution, but I admire your problem.”... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1335

One-liner #0453

“I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.”~Will Rogers... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1309

One-liner #0454

“I doubt, therefore I might be.”... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1276

One-liner #0455

“I feel sorry for the guy who has to play the world's smallest violin - everybody just thinks he's being sarcastic.”... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1274

One-liner #0456

“I hope I live to be as old as my jokes.”... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1350

One-liner #0457

“I just read that YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook are merging - it'll be called You-Twit-Face.”... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1395

One-liner #0458

“I looked at my Christmas tree today and sure enough, I couldn’t see any forests..”... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1381

One-liner #0459

“I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.”- Bernard Manning... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1601

One-liner #0460

“I smile because I have no idea what's going on.”... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1285

One-liner #0461

“I told a girl she drew her eyebrows to high – she looked surprised.”... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1611

One-liner #0462

“I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.”... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1475

One-liner #0463

“I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not sure.”... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1680

One-liner #0464

“I wish the chemists who successfully removed the lead from gasoline would try the same with our politicians.”... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1337

One-liner #0465

“I’d work out, but I’m still trying to perfect my ‘before’ picture.”... read more..