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2011
Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of
3445
of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
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2025 (236)
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Search
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1523
One-liner #0554
A clean house is a sure sign of a broken computer.
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read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1465
One-liner #0555
A magazine recently published that in the last census 1.6 percent of the people were not counted....how can they know that?
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read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1547
One-liner #0556
A new medical study says that meat can almost be as bad for you as smoking - in fact, it's almost as bad as second-hand meat.
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read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1459
One-liner #0557
A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free.
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read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1515
One-liner #0558
A sign in the window: "Any faulty merchandise will be cheerfully replaced with merchandise of equal quality."
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read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1472
One-liner #0559
A watched clock never boils.
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1539
One-liner #0560
As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it, or leave it.- Buddy Hackett
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read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1510
One-liner #0561
At pilot's training back in the Air Corps they taught us, "Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you make."
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read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1472
One-liner #0562
Avoid cutting yourself while clumsily slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1482
One-liner #0563
Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1440
One-liner #0564
Beware of buying anything when the manuals are bigger than the equipment.
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1386
One-liner #0565
Called my stockbroker this morning and asked him what I should be buying and he said, "Canned goods and ammunition."
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read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1454
One-liner #0566
Calories are delicious.
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1504
One-liner #0567
Can you get cavities in your dentures if you use too much artificial sweetener?
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read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1545
One-liner #0568
Cats are smarter than dogs - you can't get eight cats to pull a sled thru snow.
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read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1494
One-liner #0569
Change is inevitable....except from vending machines.
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1511
One-liner #0570
Christmas is weird- what other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1442
One-liner #0571
Cliches are a dime a dozen.
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1481
One-liner #0572
Cliches are a dime a dozen.
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1472
One-liner #0573
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
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read more..
29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1567
One-liner #0574
Correction -- the following typo appeared in our last bulletin: "Lunch will be gin at 12:15 p.m." Please correct to read "12 noon."
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1606
One-liner #0575
Death to fanatics!
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1507
One-liner #0576
Do you think chickens find a rubber human funny?
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1519
One-liner #0577
Doctors can be frustrating - you wait 6 weeks for an appointment, and he says, "I wish you'd come to me sooner."
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1474
One-liner #0578
Don't bother me; I'm living happily ever after.
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1424
One-liner #0579
Don't fix the blame - fix the problem.
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1496
One-liner #0580
Don't tell God how big your problems are - tell your problems how big your God is.
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1495
One-liner #0581
Don't trust anyone over 30 who used to say 'Don't trust anyone over 30.'
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1471
One-liner #0582
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
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29 Jul
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1522
One-liner #0583
Don't wear your glasses on a blind date - you'll look better, and your date will too.
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Results 2461 - 2490 of 3445