Monthly Archive

2011

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 3445 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1523

One-liner #0554

A clean house is a sure sign of a broken computer.... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1465

One-liner #0555

A magazine recently published that in the last census 1.6 percent of the people were not counted....how can they know that?... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1547

One-liner #0556

A new medical study says that meat can almost be as bad for you as smoking - in fact, it's almost as bad as second-hand meat.... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1459

One-liner #0557

A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free.... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1515

One-liner #0558

A sign in the window: "Any faulty merchandise will be cheerfully replaced with merchandise of equal quality."... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1472

One-liner #0559

A watched clock never boils.... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1539

One-liner #0560

As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it, or leave it.- Buddy Hackett... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1510

One-liner #0561

At pilot's training back in the Air Corps they taught us, "Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you make."... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1472

One-liner #0562

Avoid cutting yourself while clumsily slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1482

One-liner #0563

Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1440

One-liner #0564

Beware of buying anything when the manuals are bigger than the equipment.... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1386

One-liner #0565

Called my stockbroker this morning and asked him what I should be buying and he said, "Canned goods and ammunition."... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1454

One-liner #0566

Calories are delicious.... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1504

One-liner #0567

Can you get cavities in your dentures if you use too much artificial sweetener?... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1545

One-liner #0568

Cats are smarter than dogs - you can't get eight cats to pull a sled thru snow.... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1494

One-liner #0569

Change is inevitable....except from vending machines.... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1511

One-liner #0570

Christmas is weird- what other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1442

One-liner #0571

Cliches are a dime a dozen.... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1481

One-liner #0572

Cliches are a dime a dozen.... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1472

One-liner #0573

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1567

One-liner #0574

Correction -- the following typo appeared in our last bulletin: "Lunch will be gin at 12:15 p.m." Please correct to read "12 noon."... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1606

One-liner #0575

Death to fanatics!... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1507

One-liner #0576

Do you think chickens find a rubber human funny?... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1519

One-liner #0577

Doctors can be frustrating - you wait 6 weeks for an appointment, and he says, "I wish you'd come to me sooner."... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1474

One-liner #0578

Don't bother me; I'm living happily ever after.... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1424

One-liner #0579

Don't fix the blame - fix the problem.... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1496

One-liner #0580

Don't tell God how big your problems are - tell your problems how big your God is.... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1495

One-liner #0581

Don't trust anyone over 30 who used to say 'Don't trust anyone over 30.'... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1471

One-liner #0582

Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.... read more..

One-liners
Pastor Tim
1522

One-liner #0583

Don't wear your glasses on a blind date - you'll look better, and your date will too.... read more..