2011 - Monthly Archive - Results from #2520

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1352

One-liner #0586

For others who may not know this: When the preacher says, You may now kiss the bride, he's only speaking to the groom.- David Gunter... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1460

One-liner #0587

For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1443

One-liner #0588

FREE ONE DOLLAR BILLS! Please send $4.95 to cover postage & handling - limit 1 per order.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1387

One-liner #0589

Grandchildren are God's reward for you not killing your own children.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1432

One-liner #0590

Growing old has one advantage - you never have to do it over again.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1492

One-liner #0591

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1441

One-liner #0592

Home computers are the perfect thing for women who don't feel that men provide them with enough frustration.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1503

One-liner #0593

How come you never see Cupid with a girlfriend?... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1427

One-liner #0594

How do they get the 'Do not walk on grass' signs way out in the middle of the lawn?... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1489

One-liner #0595

I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1478

One-liner #0596

I can see clearly now, the brain is gone.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1391

One-liner #0597

I have a speech impediment... my foot.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1365

One-liner #0598

I have CDO. It's like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, only in alphabetical order like it should be.- Spike Donner from Ruminations... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1384

One-liner #0599

I hope that after I die, people will say of me, "That guy sure owed me a lot of money."... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1420

One-liner #0600

I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1391

One-liner #0601

I know, when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" but just once I want to say, "No, it's for company!"... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1447

One-liner #0602

I married Miss Right - I just didn't know her first name was Always.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1444

One-liner #0603

I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.(Greg Norman)... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1422

One-liner #0604

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction - I get to the end and say, "Well, that's not going to happen."... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1432

One-liner #0605

I realized I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.- Marcus Brigstocke... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1500

One-liner #0606

I think Bill Gates is so rich because he got his wish when he said, "I wish I had a nickel for every time this PC rebooted!"- Chris Caswell... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1487

One-liner #0607

I tried doing stand-up once but everyone just laughed at me.- Ziggy... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1379

One-liner #0608

I was having dinner with world chess champion Garry Kasparov - our table had a check tablecloth and it took him two hours to pass me the salt.... read more..