2011 - Monthly Archive - Results from #2550

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1610

One-liner #0616

If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire - they're trained for that.- Milton Jones... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1514

One-liner #0617

I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1405

One-liner #0618

In high school, I was voted the girl most likely to become a nun - that may not be impressive to you, but it was quite an accomplishment at the Hebrew Academy.- Rita Rudner... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1479

One-liner #0619

Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1385

One-liner #0620

It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1535

One-liner #0621

It's not so much about "Why this?" as "What's next?"... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1336

One-liner #0622

Just because you have the right to do something doesn't mean it's the right thing to do.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1377

One-liner #0623

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, 'Where on earth is the ceiling?!'... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1461

One-liner #0624

Middle age is when you burn the midnight oil around 9 PM.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1442

One-liner #0625

Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver.(Carol Malia, BBC Anchorwoman)... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1473

One-liner #0626

Municipal golf course sign: "Please don't find lost balls until they stop rolling."... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1463

One-liner #0627

My daughter asked me one time, "Daddy, before you married Mommy, who told you how to drive?"... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1428

One-liner #0628

My dog treats me like family - the cats treat me like staff.-- Ed Hector... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1421

One-liner #0629

My grandfather is hard of hearing, he needs to read lips - I don't mind him reading lips, but he uses those yellow high-lighters.- Brian Kiley... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1442

One-liner #0630

My home town was so small that in order to paint traffic lines, the road had to be widened.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1550

One-liner #0631

My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1406

One-liner #0632

Never use a humongous word where a diminutive one will suffice.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1399

One-liner #0633

Nina was at the Motor Vehicle Bureau applying for a driver's license filling out the forms. When she came to the line "Color of Hair," she put, "L'oreal Preference 8 1/2B."... read more..