Monthly Archive

My home town was so small that in order to paint traffic lines, the road had to be widened.... read more..

My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.... read more..

Never use a humongous word where a diminutive one will suffice.... read more..

Nina was at the Motor Vehicle Bureau applying for a driver's license filling out the forms. When she came to the line "Color of Hair," she put, "L'oreal Preference 8 1/2B."... read more..

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.... read more..

Nothing is impossible for the person who doesn't have to do it.... read more..

On a scale of 1 to 10, 4 is about 7.... read more..

On the wall of a Baltimore Estate:Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law - Sisters of Mercy.... read more..

Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.... read more..

Politicians: People who, when they see the light at the end of the tunnel, order more tunnel.... read more..

Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks frog.... read more..

Research has determined that the shelf life of fruitcake is longer than the shelf.... read more..

Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.~ Victor Borge... read more..

Stupidity is like nuclear power: it can be used for good or evil - but you still don't want to get any on you.... read more..

The "problem" with today's society, is that; (no one) knows how, to punctuate correctly, anymore?... read more..

The colder the X-ray table the more of you has to be on it.... read more..

The first line of the notice said, "Please Take Notice," so I took it.... read more..

The meeting of the clairvoyant society has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.... read more..

The proper response to Good morning, is not Prove it!... read more..

The real reason Grandparents and Grandkids get along with each other so well is that they both have a common nemesis.... read more..

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail and not his tongue.... read more..

The reason lightning doesn't strike twice in the same place is that the same place isn't there the second time.- Willie Tyler... read more..

The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.... read more..

The trouble with life is there's no background music.... read more..

The word "aerobics" was invented when the gym instructors got together and said: "If we're going to charge $20 an hour, we can't call it Jumping Up and Down."... read more..

The words "Do It Yourself" or "Self-Help" are really code for "The Way Chuck Norris Does It."... read more..

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.... read more..

There are two secrets for success:1. Don't reveal all your secrets... read more..

There was once a movie entitled, How to Irritate People. It is obviously the employee training film at my local bank.... read more..

There's a sign above the scale in my doctor's office that says, "Pretend it's your IQ."... read more..