Monthly Archive

This is precisely the sort of thing that people who like this sort of thing will like.... read more..

To lead the orchestra, you must turn your back on the crowd.... read more..

Two things hard on the heart: running up stairs and running down people.... read more..

Vegetarian. That's an old Indian word meaning 'lousy hunter.'- Andy Rooney... read more..

Want Ad: Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks "frog."... read more..

We're looking for interested folks who would like to join 'Time Travelers for a Better Yesterday' last week.... read more..

What a hotel! The towels were so fluffy I could hardly close my suitcase. - Henny Youngman... read more..

What makes airport security think they can find something in my wife's purse when she can't?... read more..

When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at.... read more..

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her out to some place expensive . . . so I took her to a gas station.... read more..

When I was a child and got dirty, my mother would spit on a handkerchief and use it to clean the dirt off - I guess in her mind, muddy and disgusting was better than just muddy.- David Sigmon... read more..

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me and I said, "What do you need?"... read more..

When repairmen say they'll "Come sometime next week," I usually say, "Fine, I'll pay you sometime next year."... read more..

When Ronald Reagan was elected governor of California, movie mogul Jack Warner said, "It's our fault. We should have given him better parts."... read more..

Whoever said there is no such thing as a stupid question has never worked in customer service.... read more..

Why does the label on Children’s Tylenol tell you not to operate heavy machinery or vehicles?... read more..

Why should I learn algebra? I have no intention of ever going there.... read more..

Wife to husband: "This Christmas let's give each other sensible gifts...like ties and fur coats."... read more..

Would the person who lost a fat roll of hundred dollar bills, wrapped in a rubber band, please report to the Lost & Found Department - we found your rubber band.... read more..

Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.... read more..

You always hear people using the phrase working like a dog but when's the last time you saw a dog doing any work?... read more..

You know it's going to be a bad day when YOUR picture is on the milk carton.... read more..

You know you're a bona fide Catholic, Lutheran or Episcopalian, when you're watching Star Wars, and when you hear May the Force be with you you have an overwhelming urge to respond and also with you.... read more..

"A blind boy paid his way to a master's degree at Northwestern University by taking notes on class lectures in Braille, typing them, and selling copies to classmates who had stronger eyes but weaker a read more..

"A church member waiting to be asked to serve in his own church is just like the member of a family waiting to be invited to pull weeds in front of the house where he lives." read more..

"A free lunch is only found in mousetraps."~John Capozzi read more..

"A giving church is a living church."     read more..

"A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water." read more..

"A member of my staff asked me when I was going to retire. I said, 'When I can no longer hear the sound of laughter.' He said, 'That never stopped you before.'"- Bob Hope read more..

"A mind in the gutter is a life down the drain." read more..