Monthly Archive

Teaching junior high school English, Mr. Speller emphasized the importance of nice clean margins on student papers.One seventh-grade boy said in his essay that he was sorry to write in the margarine.W... read more..

There is a guaranteed way to get what you want.Want less.... read more..

To truly BELIEVE in God, one must first want to LEAVE his selfish desires behind and want to BE the person God wants to mold him into. Then God can mold him to BE that person who can LEAVE the past be... read more..

What will today's younger generation tell their children they had to do "without"?... read more..

When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, "Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't be... read more..

When the subject of heaven and hell was broached in conversation one day, Ernest Hemingway politely declined to offer any opinion. "Excuse me for not answering," he said. "I have friends in both place... read more..

You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on the back.... read more..

Woman 1: Did you get a new haircut?Woman 2: Yes, I did. Thanks for noticing.W1: Oh! That's so cute!W2: Do you think so? I wasn't sure after my hairdresser gave me the mirror. I mean, you don't think i... read more..

While waiting in line to check out at a Christian bookstore, a man in front of me asked the clerk about a display of hats with the letters WWJD on them. The clerk explained that WWJD stands for "What ... read more..

When the wealthy businessman choked on a fish bone at a restaurant, he was fortunate that a doctor was seated at a nearby table.Springing up, the doctor skillfully removed the bone and saved the man's... read more..

When Sam returned to the house one evening, his wife Sarah announced that the new cleaning woman they had hired had stolen two towels."Yeah," said Sam very disinterested, and reclining on the sofa, "t... read more..

When I was much younger my mother would offer us kids money if we would be good. My brother was good for a dollar, my sister was good for 50 cents. Me? I was good for nothing!... read more..

Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents.At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs, "I PRAY ... read more..

Two women were being shown through the zoo, and their guide halted before the ostriches to explain, "Now this, ladies, is a very unusual bird. It can see very little and can digest practically anythi... read more..

To err is human; to forgive devine. To err is human; to purr, feline. To err is human; two curs, canine. To err is human; to do nothing, benign. To err is human; to quit, resign. To err is h... read more..

Three violin manufactures have all done business for years on the same block in the small town of Cremona, Italy. After years of a peaceful co-existence, the Amati shop decided to put a sign in the wi... read more..

Thought I'd let my doctor check me,'Cause I didn't feel quite right. . .All those aches and pains annoyed meAnd I couldn't sleep at night.He could find no real disorderBut he wouldn't let it rest.What... read more..

This teacher went into her classroom about fifteen minutes before the class was supposed to begin and caught a bunch of boys in a huddle on their knees in the corner of the room. She demanded of them ... read more..

There was a knock at the door. It was a small boy, about seven years old. Something of his had found its way into my garage, he said, and he wanted it back.Upon opening the garage door, I noticed two ... read more..

There was a farmer who sold a pound of butter to the baker. One day the baker decided to weigh the butter to see if he was getting a pound and he found that he was not. This angered him and he took th... read more..

There is an old story about a mother who walks in on her six-year-old son and finds him sobbing. "What's the matter?" she asks."I've just figured out how to tie my shoes.""Well, honey, that's wonderfu... read more..

The professor of a graduate-school class of gifted students included a HUGE amount of material on the midterm exam. Tension in the room built, people were sighing and gasping aloud as they realized h... read more..

The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?"Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Car... read more..

The first marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. The second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. The third marriage is the triumph of stupidity.... read more..

Sometimes friends have to tell you things you might not like to hear, but need to. If you are one of those people who like to forward every e-mail you get, please repeat the following ... 1) I will N... read more..

Scientists have discovered an incredible fact: If an article of clothing is allowed to hang uninterrupted in a closet throughout just one holiday season, it will shrink at least two sizes.... read more..

Rushing to work, I was driving too fast and as a result was pulled over by the highway patrol. The state trooper noticed that my shirt had the name of a local high school on it. "I teach math there,"... read more..

On the first day of school, a first grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."... read more..

My wife works in the fuels squadron at an Air Force base, and many of her co-workers complain about the superior attitude of the pilots.One day the fuel crew decided to put things in perspective for t... read more..

My teenager was headed to school one morning when I told him that the neck tag on his shirt was hanging out. "I know," he replied. "It's a fad me and some of the guys started." Weeks later, as the sty... read more..