February 2016 - Monthly Archive

17 Feb

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

1113

Cybersalt News - February 18, 2016

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! I haven't mentioned this here yet, but my church has graciously and sacrificially given me a 6 month sabbatical, which began yesterday. The day started out very early with ... read more..

17 Feb

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1719

One-liner #0993

I misplaced my thesaurus and feel terrible; just terrible, really terrible.... read more..

17 Feb

Quotes

Pastor Tim

1865

Quote #1442

"Christians should not be optimists; we know too much about sin. We should also not be pessimists, for we know the living God." - Timothy Keller read more..

17 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5588

Brain vs Brawn

The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could out do anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes,... read more..

15 Feb

Funny Pictures

Pastor Tim

3356

Remove Child

Just in case some people go too far trying to save water! ... read more..

15 Feb

Quotes

Pastor Tim

1750

Quote #1441

"God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart form Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing." - C.S. Lewis read more..

15 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4375

Accents

About a year ago my sister, who lives in Virginia, was talking with her four year old son, Brent. He was asking her why all their relatives from Wisconsin talk funny and sound like their noses are pl... read more..

15 Feb

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3138

Contractor

My job is in the Aerospace Industry, and it's always been a challenge to explain what kind of work I do. At one gathering, I tried several unsuccessful attempted explanations before deciding to be a read more..

15 Feb

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1946

Inspiration

A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon. "How do you know what to say?" he asked. "Why, God tells me." "Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?" read more..

15 Feb

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1350

One-liner #0992

I didn’t sleep well last night so I made my coffee this morning with Red Bull instead of water. I was half way to work when I realized I forgot my car. read more..

Hate Your Enemies: You have heard that it was said

14 Feb

Sermons

Pastor Tim

1482

Hate Your Enemies: You have heard that it was said

Jesus clarifies what God's desire is for our hearts in regard to our enemies. Listen Online: {audio}podcast/sm20160214.mp3{/audio} read more..

14 Feb

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1506

One-liner #0991

My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his head. read more..

14 Feb

Quotes

Pastor Tim

2219

Quote #1440

"If you do not believe in regeneration, if you do not see its utter absolute necessity, then I do not see that you have any right to regard yourself as a Christian. If you do not see that you are so read more..

14 Feb

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

1200

Cybersalt News - February 15, 2016

There is a new Funny Cat Picture on Cybersalt site today. You will find "Cat Antlers" at:www.cybersalt.org/funny-cat-pictures/cat-antlers Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.... read more..

14 Feb

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

1156

Cybersalt News - February 16, 2016

There is a new Funny Picture on Cybersalt site today. You will find "Remove Child" at:www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/remove-child Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.... read more..

13 Feb

Funny Cat Pictures

Pastor Tim

10013

Cat Antlers

This magical pillow shows what pets really think of themselves. ... read more..

13 Feb

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

3252

Teacher's Gifts

On a special teacher's day, a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it over her head, and said, "I bet I know what it is - f... read more..

13 Feb

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2404

Encyclopedia Surprise

Working as a computer instructor for an adult-education program at a community college, I am keenly aware of the gap in computer knowledge between my younger and older students. My observations were ... read more..

13 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3995

Bilingual Parrot

This guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. He sees one on a perch with a red string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to it's right leg. He asks the owner the significance of the string... read more..

13 Feb

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2533

Roadside Puppies

A dog who gave birth to puppies on the roadside was cited for littering. read more..

13 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3895

Guard Dog

My sister-in-law, a truck driver, decided to get a dog for protection. As she inspected a likely candidate, the trainer told her, "He doesn't like men." "Perfect," my sister-in-law thought and took ... read more..

13 Feb

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

4669

Farmer Comeback

A wise old farmer went to town to buy a pickup truck that he saw advertised in the paper for a certain price. After telling the salesman which truck he wanted, they sat down to do the paperwork. When ... read more..

13 Feb

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

1153

Cybersalt News - February 13, 2016

If you do not like puns do not go to Cybersalt's Valentine Pun page at:www.cybersalt.org/clean-puns/valentine-puns If you do like to read flame e-mails I am sent because some people can't take a joke... read more..

13 Feb

Hall of Flames

Pastor Tim

2690

Not "Foxy" Enough

When one PearyGates List subscriber unsubscribed in response to the "Hat Headline" joke I shared (which stars President Obama, The Pope, and Fox News - www.cybersalt.org/pearly-gates-jokes/hat-he... read more..

13 Feb

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2091

Rest, Busyness

Helen and Amanda were discussing their busy schedules. Helen said, "Amanda, I must ask you something. Every day I feel incredibly run down and tired. And yet, I see you looking as fresh as a rose. I ... read more..

13 Feb

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1893

Doughboy

The Pillsbury Doughboy is my my roll model.... read more..

13 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3774

Age

When you are young, you want to be the master of your fate and the captain of your soul. When you are older, you will settle for being the master of your weight and the captain of your bowl... read more..

13 Feb

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1367

One-liner #0990

"I've gotten to the age where I need my false teeth and hearing aid before I can ask where I left my glasses." read more..

12 Feb

Quotes

Pastor Tim

2649

Quote #1439

“People do not drift toward holiness. Apart from grace-driven effort, people do not gravitate toward godliness, prayer, obedience to Scripture, faith, and delight in the Lord. We drift toward compro read more..

11 Feb

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

1202

Cybersalt News - February 12, 2016

It's a few days late for the best timing of this Cybersalt classic funny sign picture (which I actually took of a friend's church in 2009). Just the same, the idea of shoving pancakes has as fun ... read more..