July 2016 - Monthly Archive - Results from #60

22 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2125

Hospital Waiting

A nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside. "Your son is here," she said to the old man. She had to repeat the words several times before the patient's eyes opened. Heavily sedated bec... read more..

22 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1430

One-liner #1080

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges?... read more..

22 Jul

Clean Jokes

2999

Security Tips

The following are notices that homeowners can place in a few strategic locations to keep burglars away. Dear Butcher: Starting tomorrow, please leave eight pounds of meat for Brutus. Six pounds only ... read more..

22 Jul

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

899

Cybersalt News - July 22, 2016

I had never heard of a "marble run machine" but a video of one with 11,000 marbles now has me wondering about building one for my grandkids. Of course many people think I've lost my marbles so there's... read more..

21 Jul

FunBlog

Pastor Tim

2278

Big Marble Run Machine

I don't know why this big marble run machine is so satisfying to watch, but it is! ... read more..

21 Jul

Quotes

Pastor Tim

1692

Quote #1527

"If you can't explain it to a 6 year old, you don't understand it yourself." - Albert Einstein read more..

21 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1837

Noodlewannabe

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!... read more..

21 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2065

Impressions

One day, at the dry-cleaning shop of a local air force base, I overheard a young airman describe in great detail how he wanted his uniform cleaned and pressed. When he finished, the counter clerk ask... read more..

21 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1418

One-liner #1079

I intend to live forever; so far so good.... read more..

21 Jul

Clean Jokes

3365

Alligator Teeth

A tourist was admiring the necklace worn by a local Indian. "What is it made of?" she asked. "Alligator's teeth," the Indian replied. "I suppose," she said patronizingly, "that they mean as much to... read more..

21 Jul

Funny Pictures

Pastor Tim

2770

Watermelon Arms

"Get your own watermelon." read more..

21 Jul

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

931

Cybersalt News - July 21, 2016

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! There is a new Funny Picture on the Cybersalt Site today. This woman is serious about her watermelons so you'll probably want to get your own. You'll find "Watermelon Arms"... read more..

20 Jul

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

2833

Engaged Seniors

Jacob age 85, and Rebecca age 79 were all excited about their decision to get married. They went for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way home they passed a drugstore. Jacob sugg... read more..

20 Jul

Quotes

Pastor Tim

1827

Quote #1526

"Leadership is not about being in charge. Leadership is about taking care of those in your charge." - Simon Sinek read more..

20 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1808

Engineering Fact

Engineering Fact: An opinion without 3.14 is an onion. You'll understand.... read more..

20 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2376

Comfort

When the power failed at the elementary school, the cook couldn't serve a hot meal in the cafeteria, so at the last minute she whipped up great stacks of peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches. As one li... read more..

20 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1528

One-liner #1078

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back.... read more..

20 Jul

Clean Jokes

3465

Chicken Recipe

Baked Stuffed Chicken 6-7 lb. chicken1 cup melted butter1 cup stuffing1 cup uncooked popcornsalt/pepper to taste Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush chicken well with melted butter, salt and peppe... read more..

20 Jul

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

920

Cybersalt News - July 20, 2016

There is a new Funny Picture on the Cybersalt Site today. It's a place where many people would have a hard time falling asleep. You'll find "Slingshot Bench" at:www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/slings... read more..

19 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1744

Emperor Disappointment

It was a sad and disappointing day when I discovered my Universal Remote Control did not, in fact, control the Universe. (Not even remotely.)... read more..

19 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1509

One-liner #1077

I don't own a cell phone or a pager; I just hang around everyone I know, all the time and if someone wants to get hold of me, they just say 'Mitch,' and I say 'what?' and turn my head slightly. - Mit... read more..

19 Jul

Funny Pictures

Pastor Tim

7503

Slingshot Bench

Nobody can fall asleep on this bench any longer. ... read more..

19 Jul

Quotes

Pastor Tim

1515

Quote #1525

"Worry is a misuse of imagination." - Dan Zadra read more..

19 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2470

The Many Names of CHRIST

To the ARTIST He is the One Altogether Lovely. To the ARCHITECT He is the Chief Corner Stone. To the BAKER He is the Living Bread. To the BANKER He is the Hidden Treasure. To the BIOLOGIST He is t... read more..

19 Jul

Clean Jokes

3171

Wait Watching

Having lost weight over the past few years, a lady was discarding things from her wardrobe that no longer fit. Her seven-year-old niece was watching as she held up a huge pair of capris. "Wow," the ... read more..

19 Jul

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

892

Cybersalt News - July 19, 2016

There is a new Funny Bird Picture on the Cybersalt Site today. You'll find "Bird Favorites" at:www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/bird-favorites Enjoy the rest of today's mailing! ~ Pastor... read more..

18 Jul

Funny Pictures

Pastor Tim

2987

Bird Favorites

Both chicks were being bugged in their own way. ... read more..

18 Jul

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

2989

Happy Shoes

A guy walks into a shoe store and asks for a pair of shoes, size 8. The obviously well-trained salesman says, "But sir, you take an 11 or eleven-and-a-half." "Just bring me a size eight a... read more..

18 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1482

One-liner #1076

"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful." - Ann Landers read more..

18 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1993

Philosophy

A friend of mine was a philosophy major during his first semester in college. One day in class, they spent a great deal of time debating whether the glass was half full or half empty. After the ... read more..