September 2016 - Monthly Archive

16 Sep

FunBlog

Pastor Tim

2039

Spinning Top in a Vacuum Chamber

Nature, dogs, and many husbands abhor a vacuum. But, it seems that spinning tops love them. ... read more..

16 Sep

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1804

"I Do" Suggestion

Position on Proposals: Getting down on one knee can be very engaging.... read more..

16 Sep

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2019

A police officer arrives at the scene of an accident, in which a car smashed into a tree. The cop rushes over to the vehicle and asks the driver, "Are you seriously hurt?" "How should I know?" the ma... read more..

16 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5918

On The Ball Mechanic

My dad, an auto mechanic, received a repair order that read: "Check for clunking sound when going around corners." Taking the car out for a test drive, he made a right turn, and a moment later he hea... read more..

16 Sep

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1364

One-liner #1125

I know a lot about cars; I can look at a car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming. - Mitch Hedberg... read more..

16 Sep

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

927

Cybersalt News - September 16, 2016

A lot of kids are calmed by farm animals - others not so much. You'll find "Horse Scare" (I know, it's not a horse) at:www.cybersalt.org/funny-horse-pictures/horse-scare Enjoy the rest of today's mai... read more..

15 Sep

Funny Horse Pictures

Pastor Tim

2574

Horse Scare

The counselor suggested giving Jimmy to a nice quiet day at the farm. ... read more..

15 Sep

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1723

Job Market Survey

Surveying the job market: Look for a plumb assignment hanging weights from a string.... read more..

15 Sep

Quotes

Pastor Tim

1605

Quote #1572

"Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate." - Barnett R. Brickner read more..

15 Sep

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2185

Barber Job Description

He prunes the foliage on your headAnd trims around the earSo you will look respectableWherever you appear. With special shears he thins your hairThen washes it with soapOr uses some restoring stuffTo... read more..

15 Sep

Clean Jokes

6836

Packing

I was scheduled to fly from North Carolina to Germany, where my husband was stationed in the military. As I checked in at the airport, the ticket agent asked me some standard security questions. "Ha... read more..

15 Sep

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1441

One-liner #1124

You have the right to remain silent; anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.... read more..

15 Sep

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

915

Cybersalt News - September 15, 2016

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! Mothers of twins have their hands full. Sometimes their husbands only add to the chaos. You'll see why in "Twins' Doctor Apointment" at:www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/twi... read more..

14 Sep

Funny Pictures

Pastor Tim

3391

Twins' Doctor Apointment

That was the day Julie asked Dan to take the twins to the doctor.... read more..

14 Sep

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

2942

Mabel's Aid

Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, "Mabel, did you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?" Ma... read more..

14 Sep

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1460

Hard to Explain

It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.... read more..

14 Sep

Quotes

Pastor Tim

1978

Quote #1571

"The Lord is trustworthy in all he promises and faithful in all he does." Psalm 145:13b read more..

14 Sep

Clean Jokes

3531

Cry On for Crayons

The kindergarten class had settled down to its coloring books. Willie came up to the teacher's desk and said, "Miss Francis, I ain't got no crayons." "Willie," Miss Francis said, "you mean, "I don't... read more..

14 Sep

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2257

Sovereignty and Wisdom of God

A passenger jet was suffering through a severe thunderstorm. As the passengers were being bounced around by the turbulence a young woman turned to a minister sitting next to her and with a nervous la... read more..

14 Sep

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1542

One-liner #1123

"I loathe people who keep dogs; they are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves." - August Strindberg read more..

14 Sep

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

970

Cybersalt News - September 14, 2016

There is a new FunBlog entry today. You can watch "Tripal Spiral Dominoes" at:www.cybersalt.org/funblog/triple-spiral-dominoes Enjoy the rest of today's mailing! ~ Pastor Tim... read more..

13 Sep

FunBlog

Pastor Tim

2027

Triple Spiral Dominoes

We like watching dominoes falling as much as most average people, but this tripal spiral of 15,000 dominoes sure dialed our enjoyment up a notch! ... read more..

13 Sep

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1622

Toy Return

"Hey, where can I find the Terminator action figures?" "Aisle B, back." read more..

13 Sep

Quotes

Pastor Tim

1578

Quote #1570

"Don't bother to give God instructions; just report for duty." - Corrie Ten Boom read more..

13 Sep

Clean Jokes

4168

Listening In

A long time ago, before the days of cell phones, I needed to call home, and the only pay phone I could find was in use. So I stood to the side and politely waited until it was free, thinking it would ... read more..

13 Sep

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2062

Housecleaning Philosophy

I don't do windows because...I love birds and don't want one to run into a clean window and get hurt. I don't wax floors because...I am terrified a guest will slip and get hurt then I'll feel terribl... read more..

13 Sep

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1461

One-liner #1122

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, and a good woman - or a bad woman; depends on how much happiness you can handle. -George Burns... read more..

13 Sep

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

920

Cybersalt News - September 13, 2016

Yes, there were no mailings on the weekend and Monday. Since my sabbatical ended I've been *trying* to maintain healthier hours. That and a change in my sermon preparation habits combined to bump thos... read more..

12 Sep

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

3222

Blind Soccer

A teacher at a school for blind kids is taking his school's soccer team to an "away game". They stop for a rest break, and to let the kids work off some energy with a little impromptu practice i... read more..

12 Sep

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

1845

Pardon My French, S'il Vous Plaît

When I was young, a saying went around, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words/names will never hurt me.” Supposedly it was to make me ignore people saying nasty things about me. For the mos... read more..