September 2016 - Monthly Archive

12 Sep

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2092

Self Image, Discipline, Dieting

A middle-aged man wasn't feeling well, so he went to the doctor for a check up. After a thorough examination, the doctor said, "Well, based on my examination, the best thing for you is to cut out all... read more..

12 Sep

Clean Jokes

4414

Combination Faith

The temporary Sunday School teacher was struggling to open a combination lock on the supply cabinet. She had been told the combination, but couldn't quite remember it. Finally she went to the pastor'... read more..

11 Sep

Sermons

Pastor Tim

1612

Elephant Killing Wisdom

When we rely on human wisdom and fancy words to try and convert people to following Jesus, we empty the cross of its power. Listen Online: {audio}podcast/sm20160911.mp3{/audio} Pastor Tim refer read more..

10 Sep

Quotes

Pastor Tim

1736

Quote #1569

"Thou hast formed us for Thyself, and our hearts are restless till they find rest in Thee." - Augustine read more..

10 Sep

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1424

One-liner #1121

I am always going the extra mile: because I never stop for directions.... read more..

09 Sep

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1366

Say Cheese

If prisons let prisoners take their own mugshots, would they be called cellfies?... read more..

09 Sep

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

956

Cybersalt News - September 9, 2016

I enjoy people who enjoy their jobs, so I enjoy the people in today's FunBlog entry. You'll find "Knocking Big Rocks Down" at:www.cybersalt.org/funblog/knocking-big-rocks-down Enjoy the rest of today... read more..

08 Sep

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1551

Diet Anticipation

I just want to be as thin as my patience.... read more..

08 Sep

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1502

One-liner #1120

I need to get in shape; if I was murdered right now my chalk outline would be a circle.... read more..

08 Sep

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2279

Harvesting, Frustration

Two farmers were comparing notes on the poor harvest. "Jeb, I'm telling you the wheat was so poor I had to harvest it with scissors." "That's nothing, Grady. I had to lather my field and shave it."... read more..

08 Sep

FunBlog

Pastor Tim

1801

Knocking Big Rocks Down

The guy at the end sums it up the best, "It's fun to knock those bigs rocks down; it's very fun." ... read more..

08 Sep

Quotes

Pastor Tim

1475

Quote #1568

"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years." - Simone Signoret read more..

08 Sep

Clean Jokes

4085

Senior "Favorite Things"

There are recent rumors that Julie Andrews did a concert for AARP (The American Association of Retired Persons). Ms. Andrews sang a favorite from the Sound of Music, "Favorite Things". There were a fe... read more..

08 Sep

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

1004

Cybersalt News - September 8, 2016

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! There is a new Funny Picture on the Cybersalt site. Do you know someone who always likes to go bigger in a race? This guy looks like one of those types. Check out "Rubber D... read more..

07 Sep

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2593

Brighten Your Corner

We cannot all be famous or be listed in "Who's Who",But every person, great or small,has important work to do. For seldom do we realizethe importance of small deeds,Or to what degree of greatnes... read more..

07 Sep

Quotes

Pastor Tim

2089

Quote #1567

"Somewhere, someone else is happy with less than you have." read more..

07 Sep

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1349

One-liner #1119

My goal was to lose 10 pounds this year: only 15 to go!... read more..

07 Sep

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1521

Which Way Shouldn't I Go?

Askhole: A person who constantly asks for your advice, yet always does the opposite of what you told them.... read more..

07 Sep

Clean Jokes

3944

Do You Understand?

At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded yes. "Do you understand that what matters is whe... read more..

07 Sep

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

5487

Dead Mule

A preacher went to his church office on Monday morning and discovered a dead mule in the church yard. He called the police. Since there did not appear to be any foul play, the police referred the prea... read more..

07 Sep

Funny Pictures

Pastor Tim

3233

Rubber Duck Race

There's always some guy who wants to go bigger. ... read more..

07 Sep

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

866

Cybersalt News - September 7, 2016

First impressions, though often wrong, are still very powerful - as Alice found out with her E-Harmony profile. You will find "E-Harmony Profile" at:www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/e-harmony-profile ... read more..

06 Sep

Funny Pictures

Pastor Tim

3180

E-Harmony Profile

Alice's E-Harmony profile was not generating any leads. ... read more..

06 Sep

Quotes

Pastor Tim

1552

Quote #1566

"If I were called upon to state in a few words the essence of everything I was trying to say both as a novelist and as a preacher, it would be something like this: Listen to your life. See it for th read more..

06 Sep

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2201

Faith and Suffering

I was listening to a lady who called a radio pastor. The pastor was a wise, grandfatherly gentleman who has that calm reassuring voice that can melt all fear. The lady, who was obviously crying, said,... read more..

06 Sep

Clean Jokes

3340

Punishment

An irritated father complained to his golf buddy. "When I was a kid, my parents sent me to my room without supper if I misbehaved. But my son has his own color TV, telephone, computer, every computer... read more..

06 Sep

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1687

One-liner #1118

On one hand, I'm indecisive, but on the other, I'm not.... read more..

06 Sep

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1592

Player Deficit

"We don't have a home-run hitter." - Tom, ruthlessly read more..

06 Sep

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

983

Cybersalt News - September 6, 2016

Do you have a kid who likes to play with their food? Maybe they'll grow up and do things like Anette in today's newest funny picture on the Cybersalt Site. You'll find "Play With Your Food" at:www.cyb... read more..

05 Sep

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

3790

Not Much of a Man

An old man was eating in a truck stop when three rough-looking bikers walked in. As they passed the old man, the first biker pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie, then laughed and took a seat a... read more..