2016 - Monthly Archive - Results from #1260

15 Feb

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3142

Contractor

My job is in the Aerospace Industry, and it's always been a challenge to explain what kind of work I do. At one gathering, I tried several unsuccessful attempted explanations before deciding to be a read more..

15 Feb

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1946

Inspiration

A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon. "How do you know what to say?" he asked. "Why, God tells me." "Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?" read more..

15 Feb

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1351

One-liner #0992

I didn’t sleep well last night so I made my coffee this morning with Red Bull instead of water. I was half way to work when I realized I forgot my car. read more..

Hate Your Enemies: You have heard that it was said

14 Feb

Sermons

Pastor Tim

1483

Hate Your Enemies: You have heard that it was said

Jesus clarifies what God's desire is for our hearts in regard to our enemies. Listen Online: {audio}podcast/sm20160214.mp3{/audio} read more..

14 Feb

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1506

One-liner #0991

My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his head. read more..

14 Feb

Quotes

Pastor Tim

2221

Quote #1440

"If you do not believe in regeneration, if you do not see its utter absolute necessity, then I do not see that you have any right to regard yourself as a Christian. If you do not see that you are so read more..

14 Feb

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

1201

Cybersalt News - February 15, 2016

There is a new Funny Cat Picture on Cybersalt site today. You will find "Cat Antlers" at:www.cybersalt.org/funny-cat-pictures/cat-antlers Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.... read more..

14 Feb

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

1157

Cybersalt News - February 16, 2016

There is a new Funny Picture on Cybersalt site today. You will find "Remove Child" at:www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/remove-child Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.... read more..

13 Feb

Funny Cat Pictures

Pastor Tim

10015

Cat Antlers

This magical pillow shows what pets really think of themselves. ... read more..

13 Feb

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

3253

Teacher's Gifts

On a special teacher's day, a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it over her head, and said, "I bet I know what it is - f... read more..

13 Feb

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2406

Encyclopedia Surprise

Working as a computer instructor for an adult-education program at a community college, I am keenly aware of the gap in computer knowledge between my younger and older students. My observations were ... read more..

13 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3996

Bilingual Parrot

This guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. He sees one on a perch with a red string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to it's right leg. He asks the owner the significance of the string... read more..

13 Feb

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2536

Roadside Puppies

A dog who gave birth to puppies on the roadside was cited for littering. read more..

13 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3899

Guard Dog

My sister-in-law, a truck driver, decided to get a dog for protection. As she inspected a likely candidate, the trainer told her, "He doesn't like men." "Perfect," my sister-in-law thought and took ... read more..

13 Feb

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

4671

Farmer Comeback

A wise old farmer went to town to buy a pickup truck that he saw advertised in the paper for a certain price. After telling the salesman which truck he wanted, they sat down to do the paperwork. When ... read more..

13 Feb

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

1153

Cybersalt News - February 13, 2016

If you do not like puns do not go to Cybersalt's Valentine Pun page at:www.cybersalt.org/clean-puns/valentine-puns If you do like to read flame e-mails I am sent because some people can't take a joke... read more..

13 Feb

Hall of Flames

Pastor Tim

2692

Not "Foxy" Enough

When one PearyGates List subscriber unsubscribed in response to the "Hat Headline" joke I shared (which stars President Obama, The Pope, and Fox News - www.cybersalt.org/pearly-gates-jokes/hat-he... read more..

13 Feb

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2093

Rest, Busyness

Helen and Amanda were discussing their busy schedules. Helen said, "Amanda, I must ask you something. Every day I feel incredibly run down and tired. And yet, I see you looking as fresh as a rose. I ... read more..

13 Feb

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1895

Doughboy

The Pillsbury Doughboy is my my roll model.... read more..

13 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3775

Age

When you are young, you want to be the master of your fate and the captain of your soul. When you are older, you will settle for being the master of your weight and the captain of your bowl... read more..

13 Feb

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1368

One-liner #0990

"I've gotten to the age where I need my false teeth and hearing aid before I can ask where I left my glasses." read more..

12 Feb

Quotes

Pastor Tim

2651

Quote #1439

“People do not drift toward holiness. Apart from grace-driven effort, people do not gravitate toward godliness, prayer, obedience to Scripture, faith, and delight in the Lord. We drift toward compro read more..

11 Feb

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

1203

Cybersalt News - February 12, 2016

It's a few days late for the best timing of this Cybersalt classic funny sign picture (which I actually took of a friend's church in 2009). Just the same, the idea of shoving pancakes has as fun ... read more..

11 Feb

Quotes

Pastor Tim

1755

Quote #1438

"I like going the extra mile, it's usually less crowded." read more..

11 Feb

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2272

Generosity

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. MAN:... read more..

11 Feb

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2062

Horse Knock-Off

You mean you've never knocked a guy off a horse with a lance before? Surely you joust!... read more..

11 Feb

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1650

One-liner #0989

So apparently the security guard at Safeway didn't believe that life gave me that lemon.... read more..

11 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4408

Missing You

Dave went on a business trip for a few days. When he returned, his wife reported that the dog really missed him. "She spent every night at the front door, awaiting your return," she said. "What an ... read more..

11 Feb

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

1097

Cybersalt News - February 11, 2016

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!For the whole Chicken Thursday explanation check out:www.cybersalt.org/news/the-story-of-chicken-thursday For those of you who tend to get in trouble for forgetting Valentin... read more..

11 Feb

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

4310

Hat Headline

The Pope is visiting DC and President Obama takes him out for an afternoon on the Potomac . . . sailing on the presidential yacht. They're admiring the sights when, all of a sudden the Pope's hat (ec... read more..