2016 - Monthly Archive - Results from #240

14 Sep

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2256

Sovereignty and Wisdom of God

A passenger jet was suffering through a severe thunderstorm. As the passengers were being bounced around by the turbulence a young woman turned to a minister sitting next to her and with a nervous la... read more..

14 Sep

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1542

One-liner #1123

"I loathe people who keep dogs; they are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves." - August Strindberg read more..

14 Sep

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

968

Cybersalt News - September 14, 2016

There is a new FunBlog entry today. You can watch "Tripal Spiral Dominoes" at:www.cybersalt.org/funblog/triple-spiral-dominoes Enjoy the rest of today's mailing! ~ Pastor Tim... read more..

13 Sep

FunBlog

Pastor Tim

2024

Triple Spiral Dominoes

We like watching dominoes falling as much as most average people, but this tripal spiral of 15,000 dominoes sure dialed our enjoyment up a notch! ... read more..

13 Sep

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1622

Toy Return

"Hey, where can I find the Terminator action figures?" "Aisle B, back." read more..

13 Sep

Quotes

Pastor Tim

1577

Quote #1570

"Don't bother to give God instructions; just report for duty." - Corrie Ten Boom read more..

13 Sep

Clean Jokes

4167

Listening In

A long time ago, before the days of cell phones, I needed to call home, and the only pay phone I could find was in use. So I stood to the side and politely waited until it was free, thinking it would ... read more..

13 Sep

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2061

Housecleaning Philosophy

I don't do windows because...I love birds and don't want one to run into a clean window and get hurt. I don't wax floors because...I am terrified a guest will slip and get hurt then I'll feel terribl... read more..

13 Sep

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1461

One-liner #1122

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, and a good woman - or a bad woman; depends on how much happiness you can handle. -George Burns... read more..

13 Sep

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

917

Cybersalt News - September 13, 2016

Yes, there were no mailings on the weekend and Monday. Since my sabbatical ended I've been *trying* to maintain healthier hours. That and a change in my sermon preparation habits combined to bump thos... read more..

12 Sep

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

3221

Blind Soccer

A teacher at a school for blind kids is taking his school's soccer team to an "away game". They stop for a rest break, and to let the kids work off some energy with a little impromptu practice i... read more..

12 Sep

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

1845

Pardon My French, S'il Vous Plaît

When I was young, a saying went around, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words/names will never hurt me.” Supposedly it was to make me ignore people saying nasty things about me. For the mos... read more..

12 Sep

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2084

Self Image, Discipline, Dieting

A middle-aged man wasn't feeling well, so he went to the doctor for a check up. After a thorough examination, the doctor said, "Well, based on my examination, the best thing for you is to cut out all... read more..

12 Sep

Clean Jokes

4410

Combination Faith

The temporary Sunday School teacher was struggling to open a combination lock on the supply cabinet. She had been told the combination, but couldn't quite remember it. Finally she went to the pastor'... read more..

11 Sep

Sermons

Pastor Tim

1609

Elephant Killing Wisdom

When we rely on human wisdom and fancy words to try and convert people to following Jesus, we empty the cross of its power. Listen Online: {audio}podcast/sm20160911.mp3{/audio} Pastor Tim refer read more..

10 Sep

Quotes

Pastor Tim

1732

Quote #1569

"Thou hast formed us for Thyself, and our hearts are restless till they find rest in Thee." - Augustine read more..

10 Sep

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1420

One-liner #1121

I am always going the extra mile: because I never stop for directions.... read more..

09 Sep

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1364

Say Cheese

If prisons let prisoners take their own mugshots, would they be called cellfies?... read more..

09 Sep

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

952

Cybersalt News - September 9, 2016

I enjoy people who enjoy their jobs, so I enjoy the people in today's FunBlog entry. You'll find "Knocking Big Rocks Down" at:www.cybersalt.org/funblog/knocking-big-rocks-down Enjoy the rest of today... read more..

08 Sep

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1544

Diet Anticipation

I just want to be as thin as my patience.... read more..

08 Sep

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1498

One-liner #1120

I need to get in shape; if I was murdered right now my chalk outline would be a circle.... read more..

08 Sep

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2273

Harvesting, Frustration

Two farmers were comparing notes on the poor harvest. "Jeb, I'm telling you the wheat was so poor I had to harvest it with scissors." "That's nothing, Grady. I had to lather my field and shave it."... read more..

08 Sep

FunBlog

Pastor Tim

1793

Knocking Big Rocks Down

The guy at the end sums it up the best, "It's fun to knock those bigs rocks down; it's very fun." ... read more..

08 Sep

Quotes

Pastor Tim

1469

Quote #1568

"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years." - Simone Signoret read more..

08 Sep

Clean Jokes

4082

Senior "Favorite Things"

There are recent rumors that Julie Andrews did a concert for AARP (The American Association of Retired Persons). Ms. Andrews sang a favorite from the Sound of Music, "Favorite Things". There were a fe... read more..

08 Sep

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

1000

Cybersalt News - September 8, 2016

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! There is a new Funny Picture on the Cybersalt site. Do you know someone who always likes to go bigger in a race? This guy looks like one of those types. Check out "Rubber D... read more..

07 Sep

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2588

Brighten Your Corner

We cannot all be famous or be listed in "Who's Who",But every person, great or small,has important work to do. For seldom do we realizethe importance of small deeds,Or to what degree of greatnes... read more..