2016 - Monthly Archive - Results from #540

28 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2163

Escargot Speed

I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster; if anything, it made him more sluggish.... read more..

28 Jul

Quotes

Pastor Tim

2495

Quote #1533

"Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it." - Chinese Proverb read more..

28 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1490

One-liner #1085

If people could be paid to die for us, they'd get rich.... read more..

28 Jul

Clean Jokes

3808

The mother of a large family was explaining why she dresses her children alike, right down to the youngest baby. "When we had just four children, I dressed them alike so we wouldn't lose any of them.... read more..

28 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2465

Trying to Manipulate God

A businessman who needed millions of dollars to clinch an important deal went to church to pray for the money. By chance, he knelt next to a man who was praying for $100 to pay an urgent debt. The bu... read more..

28 Jul

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

902

Cybersalt News - July 28, 2016

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! There is a new Funny Car Picture on the Cybersalt Site today and I think it will take many of you back to your childhood - especially if you liked plastic car models! You'l... read more..

27 Jul

Funny Car Pictures

Pastor Tim

5745

Big Model Kit

Here's a model kit you can really Revell in! ... read more..

27 Jul

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

2895

Mumba Hunt

A guy was visiting his friend in the hospital who was "all torn up." "What happened?" he asked. "Well, we were hunting the Mumba snake. It has orange and black stripes. It likes to sun itself lying ... read more..

27 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1930

Clever Politics

How was the Roman Empire cut in half? With a pair of Caesars.... read more..

27 Jul

Quotes

Pastor Tim

2325

Quote #1532

"Often, the problem we have in loving others and in freeing ourselves from bitterness we may have towards them is really a problem of not knowing who God is and trusting Him to be who He says He is. read more..

27 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1515

One-liner #1084

"You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets." - Nora Ephron read more..

27 Jul

Clean Jokes

3160

Songs For People Over 40

*Top 10 Songs for People Over 40* 10. Let's Get a Physical 9. Ain't No Burrito Mild Enough 8. Johnny B. Olde 7. How Do You Mend a Broken Everything 6. The Lack O' Motion 5. Hair Potion Number Ni read more..

27 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1950

Successful Marriage

A couple had been married for 45 years and had raised a brood of 11 children and were blessed with 22 grandchildren. When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replied, "Many ... read more..

27 Jul

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

878

Cybersalt News - July 27, 2016

There is a new Funny Sign Picture on the Cybersalt Site today. You'll find "Ketchup Muster" at:www.cybersalt.org/funny-signs/ketchup-muster Enjoy the rest of today's mailing! ~ Pastor Tim... read more..

26 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1758

Vapor After-Life

R.I.P. boiled water; you will be mist.... read more..

26 Jul

Funny Signs

Pastor Tim

4152

Ketchup Muster

The new guy's job performance didn't pass muster. ... read more..

26 Jul

Quotes

Pastor Tim

1695

Quote #1531

"History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again." - Maya Angelou read more..

26 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3182

Phone Calls

Caller: I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please. Operator: I'm sorry, there's no such listing. Are you sure you have the spelling correct?Caller : Well, it used to be called the... read more..

26 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1881

Give Tech Support a Break

Our tech company uses satellite communications to send and receive messages from tugboats moving barges up and down major rivers. Each day, by 2pm, the tugboats send data on the day's activities to th... read more..

26 Jul

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

897

Cybersalt News - July 26, 2016

There is a new Funny Picture on the Cybersalt Site today. You'll find "Dental Therapy" at:www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/dental-therapy Enjoy the rest of today's mailing! ~ Pastor Tim... read more..

25 Jul

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

2844

Time to Pick Up

A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: "I am placed in the door and told when to jump. ... read more..

25 Jul

Funny Pictures

Pastor Tim

4148

Dental Therapy

Judy got $50 for every patient referred to the child therapist next door. ... read more..

25 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1398

One-liner #1082

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.... read more..

25 Jul

Quotes

Pastor Tim

2193

Quote #1530

"Most Christians don't hear God's voice because we've already decided we aren't going to do what He says." - A.W. Tozer read more..

25 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2236

No Bologna

Becoming a vegetarian is a huge "missed steak."... read more..

25 Jul

Clean Jokes

3552

Birthday Heart Attack

Realizing at the last minute that it was his father's birthday, a teenage boy rushed to the corner store to grab a card. He quickly found a son-to-father card but neglected to read it carefully.... read more..

25 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2255

Knowing Your Spouse

One of the funniest memories I have of the trials and tribulations of making the journey from childhood to adulthood was our annual summer vacation trek from Chicago to a cabin usually someplace on a ... read more..

25 Jul

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

859

Cybersalt News - July 25, 2016

There are 5 Sundays remaining in my 6-month sabbatical. One of the things that I have gained from this time of rest is a new sense of fashion. You can see one of my new outfits at:www.cybersalt.org/fu... read more..

24 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2267

Vengeance

In the traffic court of a large Midwestern city, a young woman was brought before the judge to answer for a ticket she received for driving through a red light. She explained to the judge that she wa... read more..

24 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4242

Wet Clothes

Cassie was a really good mom. When her children were growing up, her one son gave her more "stop and count to 10" periods than any of the others. Once, after her small son fell into the pond and came... read more..