January 2017 - Monthly Archive

18 Jan

Clean Jokes

4534

Battery Life

An angry motorist went back to a garage where he had purchased an expensive battery for his car just six months earlier. "Listen", the motorist grumbled to the owner of the garage, "when I bought thi... read more..

18 Jan

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2153

Moments

If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it. Happy moments, praise God. Difficult moments, seek God. Quiet moments, worship God. Painful moments, trust God. Every moment, thank God.... read more..

18 Jan

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1387

Mary J. Bovine

Why did the cows return to the marijuana field? It was the pot calling the cattle back.... read more..

Deliver Us From Evil - The Lord's Prayer

15 Jan

Sermons

Pastor Tim

977

Deliver Us From Evil - The Lord's Prayer

The Lord's prayer teaches us to remember there is evil in our world and our need to focus on God as our deliverer from it. Listen Online: {audio}podcast/sm20170115.mp3{/audio} read more..

15 Jan

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

1496

Everything old is getting older still

A friend of mine has a saying, "I'm going to get as old as I possibly can get." From what I can tell, he has. I must agree with his sentiment. Of course, the alternative is… well you know. Another fri... read more..

15 Jan

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

943

Cybersalt News - January 15, 2017

Sunday greetings everyone. This week Rev. James Snyder has been musing and waxing eloquently about aging. He realizes, though, there is one need that never changes. You can read "Everything old... read more..

14 Jan

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2008

Simple Obedience

Today Kathryn "graduates" from Kindergarten. This morning while she was getting dressed, she insisted on wearing a skirt under her dress. I tried in vain to talk her out of it. Since she's never worn... read more..

14 Jan

Clean Jokes

3365

Blizzard Police

While driving through Buffalo after a heavy snow storm, a motorist noted a policeman, standing waist deep in snow, directing traffic. Feeling sorry for him, the motorist called out "I'm sorry you hav... read more..

14 Jan

Quotes

Pastor Tim

1788

Quote #1605

"The only way to live a truly remarkable life is not to get everyone to notice you, but to leave noticeable marks of Jesus' love everywhere you go." - Ann Voskamp read more..

14 Jan

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1544

Filler Mix-up

#121 Um 298.7 - the element of confusion. read more..

14 Jan

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1372

One-liner #1157

My goal was to lose 10 pounds this year: only 15 to go.... read more..

12 Jan

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

890

Cybersalt News - January 12, 2017

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! I don't now how you find coffee in your country, but this is how we do it here in Canada. You'll find "Canadian Coffee" at:www.cybersalt.org/funny-signs/canadian-coffee En... read more..

11 Jan

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1422

Tool Progress

The invention of the shovel was ground breaking, but it was the invention of the broom that truly swept the nation. You will agree however, that it was the wheel that really got things rolling.... read more..

11 Jan

Quotes

Pastor Tim

1927

Quote #1604

"My argument against God was that the universe seemed so cruel and unjust. But how had I got this idea of just and unjust? A man does not a call a line crooked unless he has some idea of a straight read more..

11 Jan

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

2923

Dress Theft

"You admit having broken into the dress shop four times?" asked the judge. "Yes," answered the suspect. "And what did you steal?" "A dress, Your Honor," replied the subject. "One dress?" echoed th read more..

11 Jan

Funny Signs

Pastor Tim

4283

Canadian Coffee

Here's the Canadian way to find coffee. ... read more..

11 Jan

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1391

One-liner #1156

I hate making spelling errors on Facebook; mix up two letters and your whole post is urined.... read more..

11 Jan

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

3383

Legalism 2

Two lawyers walk into a restaurant. They put their briefcases on the floor and order two coffees. They get their coffee and pull out lunches from their briefcases. "Sorry," the waitress says, "You ca... read more..

11 Jan

Clean Jokes

4107

Sorry I'm Late

Late one Saturday evening, I was awakened by the ringing of my phone. In a sleepy grumpy voice I said hello. The party on the other end of the line paused for a moment before rushing breathlessly int... read more..

Lead Us Not Into Temptation - The Lord's Prayer

08 Jan

Sermons

Pastor Tim

1111

Lead Us Not Into Temptation - The Lord's Prayer

The Lord's prayer teaches us to acknowledge our struggle with temptation. Listen Online: {audio}podcast/sm20170108.mp3{/audio} read more..

08 Jan

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

3099

It's déjà vu all over again

New Year's Day was filled with lots of excitement, plenty of grandchildren running around and enough food on the table to eliminate world hunger. Actually, it did eliminate my ravishing hunger, at lea... read more..

08 Jan

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

938

Cybersalt News - January 8, 2017

Sunday greetings everyone. Rev. James Snyder is still pondering resolutions. Does it seem like you've already read that lately? If so, it's fitting you can read "It's déjà vu all over again" at:www.c... read more..

07 Jan

Quotes

Pastor Tim

1410

Quote #1603

"Rest is a weapon given to us by God. The enemy hates it because he wants you stressed and occupied." - Unknown read more..

07 Jan

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1493

One-liner #1155

The amount of sleep required by an average person is "five more minutes."... read more..

07 Jan

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1525

Pun versus Pater

What's the difference between a pun and a dad joke? A pun can make you groan, but a dad joke goes even father!... read more..

07 Jan

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2170

Liar Lesson

A Sunday school teacher was giving her class the assignment for the next week. "Next Sunday," she said, "we are going to talk about liars, and in preparation for our lesson I want you all to read the... read more..

07 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3378

Fishing Trip

"So, what's the matter? I thought you just got back from a nice relaxing fishing trip with your husband." "Oh, everything went wrong: first he said I talked so loud I would scare the fish. Then read more..

05 Jan

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

891

Cybersalt News - January 5, 2017

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! I hope your New Year is off to a better start than the New Management referred to in the newest funny sign on the Cybersalt site. You'll find it at:www.cybersalt.org/funny-... read more..

04 Jan

Funny Signs

Pastor Tim

3215

Under New Management

It looks like they are off to a rough start. ... read more..

04 Jan

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

2998

He'll Get Quiet

A young mother paying a visit to a doctor friend and his wife made no attempt to restrain her five-year-old son, who was ransacking an adjoining room. But finally, an extra loud clatter of bott... read more..