August 2017 - Monthly Archive

31 Aug

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

1026

Cybersalt News - August 31, 2017

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! Today's Chicken Thursday shoutout is to Heather P., who sent a bunch of chicken pictures. This one is of her daughter Kathleen with one of their flock - though to keep thi read more..

30 Aug

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

3458

Irregular Organist

A minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed t... read more..

30 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3124

School Recommendation

When I went with my daughter to visit a prestigious university, our student guide pointed out the nationally ranked library and state-of-the-art science facilities. She told us that the professors wer... read more..

30 Aug

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1998

Car Accident Honesty

A man was trying to pull out of a parking place but bashed the bumper of the parked car in front of him. Witnessed by a handful of pedestrians waiting for a bus, the driver got out, inspected the dam... read more..

30 Aug

Quotes

Susan Davis

2183

Quote #1666

“Marriage is to resemble a pair of scissors. They are so joined together that they cannot be separated, often moving in opposite directions, yet punishing anyone who comes between them.” - Sydney S read more..

29 Aug

One-liners

Susan Davis

1503

One-liner #1220

I wish I were a glow worm, a glow worm's never glum; 'cause how can you be grumpy when the sun shines out your bum?!... read more..

28 Aug

Clean Puns

Susan Davis

4237

Watch Your Lipse

"Lunar Eclipse, Solar Eclipse, Apocalypse." - Thanks to www.physics-astronomy.com read more..

27 Aug

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

974

Cybersalt News - August 27, 2017

Beast and the BeautySunday greetings everyone! There was no Cybersalt Digest last Chicken Thursday because Wednesday (which is when we put the newsletter in the oven) was Grandma Cybersalt and my 31s... read more..

27 Aug

Sermons

Pastor Tim

973

Glory Boldness

Experiencing the Glory of God stirs a response of boldness from His creation. Listen Online: {audio}podcast/sm20170827.mp3{/audio} read more..

26 Aug

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

1989

I Didn’t Win $750 Million

During a recent lottery shindig, everybody was watching to see who was going to win all that money. Even I got all caught up in the excitement and was on the edge of my seat too. “Why,” the Gracious ... read more..

26 Aug

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2702

Heroes

Heroes: What a guy in a boat does.... read more..

26 Aug

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2512

A Sermon Walking

Reporters and city officials gathered at a Chicago railroad station one afternoon in 1953. The person they were meeting was the 1952 Nobel Peace Prize winner. A few minutes after the train came to a s... read more..

26 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3804

Awareness Test

Two paramedics were dispatched to check on a 92-year-old man who had become disoriented. They decided to take him to the hospital for evaluation. En route, with siren going, they questioned the man t... read more..

25 Aug

One-liners

Susan Davis

1354

One-liner #1219

I hate making spelling errors on Facebook; mix up 2 letters and your whole post is urined.... read more..

23 Aug

Quotes

Susan Davis

1946

Quote #1665

"Grace is when somebody hurts you and you try to understand their situation instead of trying to hurt them back." - Unknown read more..

20 Aug

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

960

Cybersalt News - August 20, 2017

Sunday greetings everyone! On Sundays, I often share with you the audio recording of my sermon from the previous weekend. However, today I have news to share with you. On October 31, at the end of 2... read more..

20 Aug

Sermons

Pastor Tim

891

The Me and We of Jesus' Church

Jesus is the Lord of His church - both the "me" and "we" of it. Listen Online: {audio}podcast/sm20170820.mp3{/audio} read more..

$One-liner #1218$

20 Aug

One-liners

Susan Davis

1404

One-liner #1218

If I had a dollar for every time I've used algebra in my adult life, I'd have "n" dollars.... read more..

19 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

14323

Eclipse Memos

Memo from Director General to Manager: Today at 11 o'clock there will be a total eclipse of the sun. This is when the sun disappears behind the moon for two minutes. As this is something that cannot ... read more..

Celebration Has Become a Way of Life for Me

19 Aug

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

1382

Celebration Has Become a Way of Life for Me

I have just celebrated my birthday, my wife’s birthday and our wedding anniversary. I am not sure how old I am or how long we have been married and I won’t even go to my wife’s age. I’m old enough to ... read more..

19 Aug

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3263

Modern Banking

We are all used to the conveniences of a modern bank. While there have been money lenders throughout the ages, full service banks are a relatively new phenomenon. Molan Cache is usually considered th... read more..

19 Aug

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2498

Family Harmony

One Sunday a priest announced he was passing out miniature crosses made of wood. "Put this cross in the room where your family argues most," he advised. "When you look at it, the cross will remind yo... read more..

19 Aug

Quotes

Susan Davis

2070

Quote #1664

"Givers have to set limits because takers never do." - Unknown read more..

18 Aug

One-liners

Susan Davis

1492

One-liner #1217

"There's a sleeping person; let's go ask it questions," say children everywhere! read more..

17 Aug

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

1034

Cybersalt News - August 17, 2017

Oh look, Chicken Thursday. I asked for chicken pictures last week and I got some chicken pictures! Today's Chicken Thursday shoutout is to Sharon who sent this picture of her grandson Aaro read more..

16 Aug

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

4746

Eclipse Timing

An astronomer was on an expedition to Darkest Africa to observe a total eclipse of the sun, when he was captured by cannibals. The eclipse was due the next day around noon. To gain his freedom he plan... read more..

16 Aug

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3651

Pope Pun 2

Hans Grapje was raised in a Catholic school in The Hague and, as a young man, aspired to become a priest, but was drafted into the Army during WWII and spent two years co-piloting B17s until his aircr... read more..

16 Aug

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2210

Telling the Truth

After eight days of backpacking with my wife Linda, we were looking pretty scruffy. One morning she came to breakfast in a baseball cap, her shoulder length hair sticking out at odd angles. "Terry," ... read more..

16 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

10331

You Know You Are a Bad Cook When…

- You use the smoke alarm as a cooking timer. - You consider it a culinary success if the pop-tart stays in one piece. - Your dog goes to the neighbors' to eat. - Your family buys Alka Seltzer and read more..

16 Aug

Quotes

Susan Davis

1848

Quote #1663

"Dead people receive more flowers than the living because regret is stronger than gratitude."- Anne Frank read more..