November 2017 - Monthly Archive

15 Nov

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

3490

Living to 80?

I recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age. A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking... read more..

15 Nov

Quotes

Susan Davis

1331

Quote #1684

"All great Christians have been wounded souls." - A. W. Tozer read more..

15 Nov

Funny Pictures

Pastor Tim

5668

Stove Top Thanksgiving Dinner Pants

Why eat less when you can wear more? Get your Stove Top Thanksgiving dinner pants today! ... read more..

15 Nov

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1312

Self-Righteous Cards

Jones jumped up from the card table white with rage. "Stop this game," he shouted, "Smith is cheating!" "How do you know?" "He's not playing the hand I dealt him."... read more..

15 Nov

One-liners

Susan Davis

1299

One-liner #1240

Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.... read more..

15 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3738

Surprise Gift

The man walked over to the perfume counter and told the clerk he'd like a bottle of Chanel No. 5 for his wife's birthday. "A little surprise, eh?" smiled the clerk. "You bet," answered the customer.... read more..

15 Nov

Clean Puns

Susan Davis

1482

Mid-Life Pets

When women get to a certain age they start accumulating cats. This is known as the "many paws."... read more..

12 Nov

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

923

Cybersalt News - November 12, 2017

Sunday greetings everyone! Today's mailing is back to its regular weekend size. After all, I couldn't disappoint M. L. Van Driesen two weeks in a row 😉! Featured on the Cybersalt site today: Re... read more..

As The Cookie Crumbles, So Do My Excuses

11 Nov

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

4705

As The Cookie Crumbles, So Do My Excuses

Several weeks ago, I was at home alone when the doorbell rang. I answered the door to find representatives from a local Girl Scout troop doing what they do so well; selling Girl Scout cookies. The Gr... read more..

11 Nov

One-liners

Susan Davis

1205

One-liner #1239

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.... read more..

10 Nov

Body of Christ Connection

Pastor Tim

1575

Tips For the Persecuted

Thank you for considering being willing to share your life with a brother or sister in Christ living for Jesus in freedom somewhere else in the world. As a part of the church, a member of the body of ... read more..

10 Nov

Body of Christ Connection

Pastor Tim

1812

Tips For the Free

(Note: We now have a closed Facebook group for people interested in BOCC but who do not feel ready to be directly connected with a persecuted Christian or refugee. You can apply to join it by cli read more..

10 Nov

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2171

Worst Memory

Two men were talking. The first says, "My wife has the worst memory I ever heard of." The second man replies, "Forgets everything, eh?" "Nope. She remembers everything."... read more..

10 Nov

Clean Puns

Susan Davis

1339

Shopping "Taken Care Of"

I went shopping for cherries and microphones the other day. Bought a bing, bought a boom.... read more..

10 Nov

Quotes

Susan Davis

1585

Quote #1683

"We need to give each other the space to grow, to be ourselves, to exercise our diversity. We need to give each other space so that we may both give and receive such beautiful things as ideas, openn read more..

09 Nov

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

962

Cybersalt News - November 9, 2017

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! Enjoy the rest of today's mailing! ~ Pastor Tim... read more..

08 Nov

Quotes

Susan Davis

1255

Quote #1682

"Use your health, even to the point of wearing it out. That is what it is for. Spend all you have before you die; do not outlive yourself." - George Bernard Shaw read more..

08 Nov

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

3663

Tips for Managers and Bosses

- Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing. - If it's really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes t read more..

08 Nov

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2543

War

As the regiment moved out, the crowd cheered. One soldier asked another, "Who are all those cheering people?" The veteran answered, "They're the ones who aren't going."... read more..

08 Nov

One-liners

Susan Davis

1245

One-liner #1238

I like to play blackjack; I'm not addicted to gambling, I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle. - Mitch Hedberg... read more..

08 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

6781

Johnny and Remembrance

One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The young man of seven had been staring at the plaque for som... read more..

08 Nov

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3140

Army Hippo

The army kept advancing till its route was blocked by a dead hippopotamus lying across the road. "Carry on," commanded the general. And he was right. - Cynthia MacGregor... read more..

05 Nov

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

1381

This Fall Was a Major Trip for Me

This past week the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage said to me rather casually, “I guess you know today is November?” She’s always joking with me and I assumed this was one of her jokes. “You can’... read more..

05 Nov

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

883

Cybersalt News - November 5, 2017

Sunday greetings everyone! The recording of my last message as Pastor at Westside Bible Church is now online. You can listen to "God's Dreams" at:www.westsidefamily.org/messages/god-s-dreams Al... read more..

04 Nov

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5084

Signs of the Times

In a veterinarian's office:"All unattended children given free kitten" In the parking lot outside a veterinarian's office in Silverton, OR:"Parking for customers only; others will be neutered." In a... read more..

04 Nov

One-liners

Susan Davis

1274

One-liner #1237

"No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation." - Fran Lebowitz read more..

02 Nov

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

1032

Cybersalt News - November 2, 2017

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! Well, that actually happened: I am now officially retired from Westside Bible Church. So now it's on to Cybersalt full time. Thanks for sticking around for the ride! Enjoy... read more..

01 Nov

Quotes

Susan Davis

1454

Quote #1681

Lives, like money, are spent. What are you buying with yours? - Roy H. Williams read more..

01 Nov

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

3482

Long Marriage

Two men were talking about the secret of a long a happy marriage. "Our marriage" said one "is built on trust and understanding." "My wife doesn't trust me and I don't understand her."... read more..

01 Nov

Clean Puns

Susan Davis

1693

Peter Pun

Why is Peter Pan always flying? He never, neverlands. I like this joke because it never grows old!... read more..