2017 - Monthly Archive - Results from #210

13 Sep

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2928

Star Wars

One day, Luke Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi were at a very fancy dinner party they had hosted. They were seated in full view of the rest of the people in attendance, and Luke, his table manners somewha... read more..

13 Sep

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2883

An Old Farmer's Advice

~ Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong. ~ Life is simpler when you plow around the stump. ~ A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor. ~ Words that soak ... read more..

13 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5670

Actual Elementary School Excuse Notes

* "Jerry was at his grandmother's yesterday, and she did not bring him to school because Jerry couldn't remember where the school was." * "Ronnie would not finish his work last night.&nbs read more..

12 Sep

One-liners

Susan Davis

1220

One-liner #1224

The relationship between Husband and Wife is very psychological - one is Psycho and the other is Logical; now please don't try to figure out Who is Who.... read more..

10 Sep

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

940

Cybersalt News - September 10, 2017

Sunday greetings everyone! My sermon from last Sunday is now on the Westside Bible Church website. Not only are good works the evidence of faith, they are also the expression of Wisdom. You can hear ... read more..

10 Sep

Sermons

Pastor Tim

1124

Small Things

God is not bothered by small things and so neither should we. Listen Online: {audio}podcast/sm20170910.mp3{/audio} read more..

10 Sep

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

5371

My Sneeze is No Gentle Breeze

It has been days (or has it been years) since I have enjoyed a sneeze free day. The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage told me it is simply that time of the year and I should learn to deal with it. "A... read more..

09 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

6858

Sewing Machine Ad

The following is an ad from a newspaper which appeared four days in a row - the last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day's mistake. MONDAY:For sale: R. D. Jones has one sewing machine fo... read more..

09 Sep

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

5302

Turnip

I put some turnips, his least-favorite vegetable, on my eleven-year-old son's dinner plate and instructed him to eat everything. He cleaned his plate, except for the turnip. I pointed out to him that... read more..

09 Sep

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2203

Kids on the Bible

The statements below are said to have been written by actual students, that they are genuine and NOT retouched or corrected: - Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. - The Egyptians were all drowned in... read more..

09 Sep

Quotes

Susan Davis

1236

Quote #1669

“I know why I want my morality to save me. If I’m saved by my good works, then like a taxpayer, I have rights. I’ve paid into the system and God owes me a good and decent life. And there is a limit read more..

08 Sep

One-liners

Susan Davis

1244

One-liner #1223

Sadly, the days of people using proper English are went.... read more..

07 Sep

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

1019

Cybersalt News - September 7, 2017

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! Today's Chicken Thursday shoutout is to Tommy A., who sent this authentic picture titled "Farming in Ireland, 1937." I know it's not photoshopped because there were no com read more..

06 Sep

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

3331

Lieutenant Tact

A lieutenant was brilliant in military matters, but lacked a few social graces. One day he called a soldier in to the office and said "Kramer, your grandmother died." The soldier fell apart. After he... read more..

06 Sep

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2610

Math Pun 1

Pi R squared. Nooo! Pie R round; cornbread R square.... read more..

06 Sep

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1953

Knowledge

The child comes home from his first day at school. His Mother asks, "Well, what did you learn today?" The boy replies, "Not enough. They want me to come back tomorrow."... read more..

06 Sep

Quotes

Susan Davis

1268

Quote #1668

"We live in a world starved for solitude, silence, and privacy: and therefore starved for meditation and true friendship." - C.S. Lewis read more..

06 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4339

Youngest in School

A friend of mine has three boys. The youngest, Gregory, had just started school. A teacher commented to Gregory that she couldn't believe he was already in first grade and asked what his mother did a... read more..

05 Sep

One-liners

Susan Davis

1347

One-liner #1222

Askhole: A person who constantly asks for your advice, yet always does the opposite of what you told them.... read more..

03 Sep

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

902

Cybersalt News - September 3, 2017

Sunday greetings everyone! My sermon from last Sunday is now on the Westside Bible Church website. When we are hungry we eat, when we are tired we sleep, but what should our response be to an experie... read more..

03 Sep

Sermons

Pastor Tim

1087

Wisdom Works

Wisdom expresses itself through works. Listen Online: {audio}podcast/sm20170903.mp3{/audio} read more..

If "All Things Are Possible," Why Can't I Balance My Checkbook?

02 Sep

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

4433

If "All Things Are Possible," Why Can't I Balance My Checkbook?

For me, the most terrible time of each month is the day our bank statement comes. We commonly call it BSS (Bank Statement Syndrome). I don't know why it is, but I have trouble getting the parsonage ch... read more..

02 Sep

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

11938

Boxing Pun

Boxers who are always on time, for their bouts are very punchual.... read more..

02 Sep

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1891

Pedigree

A stuffy old dowager was explaining to the Jewish florist how she wanted the flowers arranged at the DAR (Daughters of the American Revolution) meeting to celebrate the signing of the Declaration of I... read more..

02 Sep

Quotes

Susan Davis

1736

Quote #1667

"Tolerance isn't about not having beliefs. It's about how your beliefs lead you to treat people who disagree with you." - Timothy Keller read more..

02 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4329

Diamond Assumption

An acquaintance of mine, whose daughter was about to be married, decided to give her a diamond ring that had been in the family for several generations. The stone had never been appraised, so the fath... read more..

01 Sep

One-liners

Susan Davis

1442

One-liner #1221

I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you how you need to be "saved" or you'll "burn" ... stupid firemen.... read more..

31 Aug

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

1007

Cybersalt News - August 31, 2017

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! Today's Chicken Thursday shoutout is to Heather P., who sent a bunch of chicken pictures. This one is of her daughter Kathleen with one of their flock - though to keep thi read more..

30 Aug

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

3436

Irregular Organist

A minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed t... read more..

30 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3099

School Recommendation

When I went with my daughter to visit a prestigious university, our student guide pointed out the nationally ranked library and state-of-the-art science facilities. She told us that the professors wer... read more..