February 2018 - Monthly Archive

28 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3277

Healthy Tourism

Mr. Peterson, a tourist from Toronto, arrived in Israel. In an airport taxi cab, Peterson asked the driver, "Say, is this really a healthful place?" "It sure is," the cabby replied. "When I came her... read more..

28 Feb

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1330

Apparent Supervision

Seeing my 11-year-old son perusing a website filled with photos of Britney Spears, I commented, "She certainly is pretty. Which picture do you like best?" "I don't know," he mumbled, embarrassed by h... read more..

28 Feb

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

3230

Exam Hand

During the final exam, the professor noticed that Billy Walters kept looking at his hand before writing down an answer on his test. This went on throughout the entire exam, leaving the professor no ot... read more..

27 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3848

Dog Driver

As I drove into a parking lot, I noticed that a pickup truck with a dog sitting behind the wheel was rolling toward a female pedestrian. She seemed oblivious, so I hit my horn to get her attention. ... read more..

26 Feb

One-liners

Susan Davis

1335

One-liner #1270

What's it like having a toddler? Imagine raising a heavily caffeinated chimpanzee who is allergic to sleep.... read more..

26 Feb

Quotes

Susan Davis

1402

Quote #1712

"I've lost my mind and I'm pretty sure the kids took it." - unknown read more..

25 Feb

Clean Puns

Susan Davis

1385

Teepee Trot

You can't run through a campground. You can only ran, because it's past tents.... read more..

25 Feb

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

792

Cybersalt News - February 25, 2018

Sunday greetings everyone! Rev. James Snyder was recently missing $20. However, his wife did not miss it! You can read "Looking for Money in All the Wrong Pockets" at:www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/lo... read more..

24 Feb

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2133

Ten Commandments Obedience

Bernie and Esther were not the most religious couple and in fact, they really only went to church once a year. As they were leaving the church, the minister said, "Bernie, it sure would be nice to se... read more..

Looking for Money in All the Wrong Pockets

24 Feb

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

1483

Looking for Money in All the Wrong Pockets

An incident happened this past week in which I am still scratching my head. Have you ever known you had something, but for the life of you could not find it? I will accede to the fact that occasiona read more..

22 Feb

One-liners

Susan Davis

1315

One-liner #1269

Don't use a big word when a singularly unloquacious and diminutive linguistic expression will satisfactorily accomplish the contemporary necessity.... read more..

22 Feb

Clean Puns

Susan Davis

1588

Food Code

Apparently, you can't use "beef-stew" as a password. It's not stroganoff.... read more..

22 Feb

Quotes

Susan Davis

1148

Quote #1711

"God's primary objective is not to make our lives easy but to make our lives matter." - Unknown read more..

21 Feb

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1580

Racism First Class

On a BA flight from Johannesburg, a middle-aged, well-off white South African Lady has found herself sitting next to a black man. She called the cabin crew attendant over to complain about her seating... read more..

21 Feb

Clean Puns

Susan Davis

1406

The Long Face of Change

One hundred years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today, everyone has a car and only the rich have horses. Oh, how the stables have turned.... read more..

21 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3757

Silly Mom

Thanks to list member Lowell Guebert for sending in this real life, happened to her, CleanLaugh. Two of our grandchildren (Kevin, age 8 and Jeremy age 13) were doing some school homework in the same ... read more..

21 Feb

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

836

Cybersalt News - February 22, 2018

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! Here's a bit of an odd and specific request. If you are a YouTube content creator who uses the Closed Caption feature on your videos, would you please drop me a note at tim... read more..

21 Feb

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

4949

Guillotine for Three

A priest, a drunkard, and an engineer were led to the guillotine for their crimes. The executioner pulled the priest forward first and asked him if he wanted to be facing up or down when he met his fa... read more..

19 Feb

One-liners

Susan Davis

1147

One-liner #1268

I wonder if the queen gets into bed, pulls the duvet up to her neck and says, "Look, Phillip, I'm a stamp!"... read more..

19 Feb

Quotes

Susan Davis

1372

Quote #1710

"I didn't go to religion to make me 'happy.' I always knew a bottle of Port would do that. If you want a religion to make you feel really comfortable, I certainly don't recommend Christian read more..

18 Feb

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

792

Cybersalt News - February 18, 2018

Sunday greetings everyone! Rev. James Snyder has two loves that sometimes compete for the same space: grandchildren and silence. You can read more about that at "Oh, Dem Golden Tones Of Silence."www.... read more..

17 Feb

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1955

Respect for Rank

A young soldier was stationed at Myrtle Beach, S.C., where he spent his spare time fishing in the backwaters of the Intercoastal Waterway. Soon he became a guide of sorts for some senior non-commissio... read more..

17 Feb

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

1376

Oh, Dem Golden Tones Of Silence

Last Saturday evening the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and Yours Truly were reclining on the living room sofa enjoying our evening cup of coffee. It is a wonderful way to unwind after a week of ... read more..

15 Feb

Quotes

Susan Davis

1783

Quote #1709

Huge waves that would frighten an ordinary swimmer produce a tremendous thrill for the surfer who has ridden them. The things we try to avoid and fight against— tribulation, suffering, and persecuti read more..

15 Feb

One-liners

Susan Davis

1333

One-liner #1267

I grew up living paycheck to paycheck; but through hard work, time and perseverance I now live direct deposit to direct deposit.... read more..

15 Feb

Clean Puns

Susan Davis

1405

Counting Freedom

I have trouble with Roman numerals until I get to 159. Then it CLIX.... read more..

15 Feb

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

896

Cybersalt News - February 15, 2018

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! Behold, another picture of me at work lately! Enjoy the rest of today's mailing! ~ Pastor Tim... read more..

14 Feb

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

4110

Cold Chili

Are you eating right now? Then don't read this joke now. A man enters a cafe and sits down. He notices that the special of the day is cold chili. When the waitress comes to take his... read more..

14 Feb

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1983

Teenagers (most)

A Teenager is . . . -A person who can't remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number. -A weight watcher who goes on a diet by giving up candy bars before breakfast. -A youngster who re... read more..

14 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4759

Calf Birth

A man was helping one of his cows give birth when he noticed his 4-year-old son standing wide-eyed at the fence, soaking in the whole event. The man thought, "Great, he's 4 and I'm gonna have t... read more..