January 2019 - Monthly Archive

31 Jan

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

3625

Lawnmower Words

A small boy was pushing a gasoline-powered lawnmower down the street with a "For Sale" sign on it. A man stopped him asked if the mower would run. The boy told him it would, so the man bought it. A ... read more..

31 Jan

One-liners

1270

One-liner #1352

Definitions: A reactionary is a man who wants to face the past with confidence.... read more..

31 Jan

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

745

Cybersalt News - January 31, 2019

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! A few weeks back I preached at the church Susan and I have been attending since I retired from local church pastoring. You can listen to "The Very Thing" at:gatewaybaptistc... read more..

30 Jan

Pakistan Handicrafts

Susheel Saleem

357

Lady's Embroidered Handbag

We're excited to present these amazing bags, handmade by Pakistani women. Each bag is beautiful on its own, and doubly eye-catching when matched with the right dress. These traditional bags are indiv... read more..

29 Jan

Clean Puns

Susan Davis

1286

Irresistibly Loud

Yesterday I saw an ad that said, Radio for sale $1 Volume stuck on full I thought, "I can't turn that down."... read more..

29 Jan

Quotes

2185

Quote #1793

"Your wounds will either become walls of offense or windows of revelation depending on how you respond." - Unknown read more..

29 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3691

Restaurant Return

An out-of-towner in New York at the height of the tourist season decided to revisit an uptown restaurant he'd enjoyed on a previous trip to the city. Finally catching the eye of an overworked waiter,... read more..

29 Jan

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1258

Nine Things About Aging

First, eventually, you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. Second, the older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for. Third, some peopl... read more..

28 Jan

One-liners

Susan Davis

1141

One-liner #1351

Definitions: A university is a community in which people make a living by taking in each other's brainwashing.... read more..

27 Jan

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

704

Cybersalt News - January 27, 2019

Sunday greetings everyone! On the Cybersalt Site, this week we learn about Rev. James Snyder's mid-January New Year's Resolutions status. You can read "The End of all Nonsense and Other Practical Jok... read more..

26 Jan

Clean Puns

1115

Elementary, My Dear Watson!

Never trust an atom. They make up everything!... read more..

The End of all Nonsense and Other Practical Jokes

26 Jan

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

2766

The End of all Nonsense and Other Practical Jokes

When it comes to practical jokes, Yours Truly is always on the ready. Throughout my earthly passage, I have perpetuated my share of practical jokes. I will not enumerate them here, the simple reason b... read more..

25 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3816

Dog Exercises

You've seen those fitness ads on TV promising amazing results from all sorts of contraptions. Well, there's no need to invest in fancy equipment. If you have (or can borrow) a dog, you have everything... read more..

25 Jan

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1201

Human Nature Robbed

A burglar who needed money to pay his income taxes decided to rob the safe in a store. On the safe door, he was very pleased to find a note reading, "Please don't use dynamite. The safe is not locked... read more..

24 Jan

Quotes

4554

Quote #1792

"When you say 'There's too much evil in this world', you assume there's 'good'. When you assume there's good, you assume there's such a thing as a 'moral law' on the basis of which to differentiate read more..

24 Jan

One-liners

1152

One-liner #1350

Definitions: Inflation is an economic device by which each man can make more than the next.... read more..

21 Jan

Quotes

2422

Quote #1790

"For Jesus, there are no countries to be conquered, no ideologies to be imposed, no people to be dominated. There are only children, women and men to be loved." - Henri Nouwen read more..

21 Jan

One-liners

1179

One-liner #1348

Definitions Monism is the theory that anything less than everything is nothing.... read more..

21 Jan

Clean Puns

1258

Final Word

A woman is sitting at her deceased husband's funeral. A man leans in to her and asks, "Do you mind if I say a word?" "No, go right ahead," the woman replies. The man stands, clears his throat and sa... read more..

20 Jan

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

711

Cybersalt News - January 20, 2019

Sunday greetings everyone! This week we read about Rev. James Snyder's willingness to embrace a second childhood. You can read "Why Childhood is Better the Second Time Around" at:www.cybersalt.org/go... read more..

Why Childhood is Better the Second Time Around

19 Jan

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

2784

Why Childhood is Better the Second Time Around

This week the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and Yours Truly had the privilege of attending our youngest granddaughter's second birthday party. I wanted to go to her third birthday party but she w... read more..

19 Jan

Clean Puns

Susan Davis

1158

Dating Apparel

Girlfriend: "What jersey should I buy?" Boyfriend: "Buy a goalie's jersey!" Girlfriend: "Why?" Boyfriend: "So I can tell people my girlfriend is a keeper!"... read more..

19 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4058

Watergate Bug

A honeymoon couple is in the Watergate Hotel. The new bride is concerned and asked, "What if the place is still bugged?" The groom says, "Hmm... Good point. I'll look for a bug." He looks behind th... read more..

19 Jan

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2683

Faithfulness

The front door was accidentally left open and our dog was gone. After unsuccessfully whistling and calling, my husband got in the car and went looking for him. He drove around the neighborhood for so... read more..

17 Jan

Quotes

1537

Quote #1791

"Churches are not museums that display perfect people. They are hospitals where the wounded, hurt, injured and broken find healing." - Unknown read more..

17 Jan

One-liners

1127

One-liner #1349

Definitions: That is that word which should be used instead of which.... read more..

17 Jan

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

721

Cybersalt News - January 17, 2019

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! Enjoy the rest of today's mailing! ~ Pastor Tim... read more..

16 Jan

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

3110

Sally's Find

An elderly married couple who were childhood sweethearts and had settled down in their old neighborhood, are celebrating their fiftieth wedding anniversary. They walk down the street to their old scho... read more..

16 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3342

Spelling Information

"Information? I need the number of the Caseway Insurance Company." "Would you spell that, please?" "Certainly. C as in sea. A as in aye. S as in sea. E as in eye. W as in why. A as in are. Y as in y read more..

16 Jan

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

3111

Judge Gently

Pray don’t find fault with the man who limpsOr stumbles along the road,Unless you have worn the shoes that hurt,Or struggled beneath his load.There may be tacks in his shoes that hurt,Though hidden aw... read more..