2019 - Monthly Archive - Results from #210

11 Sep

Clean Puns

Susan Davis

1034

Self-Serve Dentistry

Patient: Mind if I turn on the nitrous oxide? Dentist: Knock yourself out!... read more..

11 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3700

Day number 180 8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!11:30 am - OH BOY! DO... read more..

11 Sep

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1892

Teenagers

"Doctor, I'd like you to evaluate my 13-year-old son." "OK: He's suffering from a transient psychosis with an intermittent rage disorder, punctuated by episodic radical mood swings, but his prognosis read more..

A Key On the Table Is Worth Many A Chuckle

08 Sep

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

1221

A Key On the Table Is Worth Many A Chuckle

When it comes to forgetting anything, I am king of the hill. My forgetting has nothing to do with age because I have been forgetting as long as I can remember. Of course, with age comes an excuse for... read more..

08 Sep

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

591

Cybersalt News - September 8, 2019

Sunday greetings everyone - and happy September! Recently, Rev. James Snyder got a chuckle when his wife took a turn forgetting something. You can read "A Key On the Table Is Worth Many A Chuckle" at... read more..

07 Sep

One-liners

Susan Davis

858

One-Liner #1410

Self-Annihilating Description He knew everything, but that's all.... read more..

07 Sep

Quotes

Susan Davis

1219

Quote #1851

"... all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." - Psalm 139:16b (NIV) read more..

07 Sep

Clean Puns

Susan Davis

1322

Clown Soup

If you boil a funny bone it becomes a laughing stock. That's humerus.... read more..

07 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3135

Vet Come Back

Dr. Cutter is the local veterinarian in Kennebec County, Maine. He was well-known in town for his wry humor. He surpassed himself one summer day when a city dog was brought to him after an encounter w... read more..

07 Sep

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1971

Don't Go To Bed

I've heard it said don't go to bed while hanging on to sorrow, you may not have the chance to laugh with those you love tomorrow. You may not mean the words you speak when anger takes its toll, you m... read more..

05 Sep

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

605

Cybersalt News - September 5, 2019

Oh look, Chicken Thursday - and my eldest daughter's 31st birthday! She had cancer when she was 14 and I am grateful she is alive to make me feel a bit older today. Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!... read more..

04 Sep

Quotes

Susan Davis

1817

Quote #1850

"God left you on earth for a purpose. Do it." - Unknown read more..

04 Sep

Clean Puns

Susan Davis

1084

I Can't Get Up

I saw a sign that said, "Falling Rocks!" So I tried, and it doesn't.... read more..

04 Sep

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

3517

Seeing Eye Dog

There is so much theologically incorrect about this joke I should send it out over three mailings! A blind man with his seeing eye dog walked into a bar. The blind man picked up the dog and swung it... read more..

04 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3415

Baby Wrap

Part of my job as a public-health nurse is teaching new parents how to care for their infants. As I was demonstrating how to wrap a newborn, a young Asian couple turned to me and said, "You mean we s... read more..

04 Sep

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2062

Grandkids, Bragging

Three little boys were bragging about how tough they were."I'm so tough", said the first boy, "that I can wear out a pair of shoes in a week." "Well", said the second little boy, "I'm so tough, I can... read more..

03 Sep

One-liners

Susan Davis

920

One-Liner #1409

Self-Annihilating Descriptions Words are incapable of describing what I am about to tell you.... read more..

01 Sep

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

652

Cybersalt News - September 1, 2019

Sunday greetings everyone - and happy September! Recently, Rev. James Snyder was battling viruses and vermin while he worked on the church computer. You can read "Stuck between a Virus and a Varmint"... read more..

31 Aug

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

1085

Stuck between a Virus and a Varmint

Normally, I’m not a superstitious sort of a person. But then again there is a good case to be made that I am really not normal. If you stop to think about it, (and I have), the average person is a com... read more..

31 Aug

Quotes

Susan Davis

1147

Quote #1849

"Lord, please do us a massive favor. Make sin appear utterly ugly and exceedingly sinful to us." - Bob Sorge read more..

31 Aug

Clean Puns

Susan Davis

1011

Fowl Watchers

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.... read more..

31 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3871

Black Snake

It was the first camping experience for Jed. As soon as he had pitched his tent, he went for a hike in the woods. In about fifteen minutes he rushed back into camp, bleeding and disheveled. "What ha... read more..

31 Aug

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

4256

Offering, Giving, Complaining

A man and his ten-year-old son were on a fishing trip miles from home. At the boy's insistence, they decided to attend the Sunday worship service at a small rural church. The father forgot to bring an... read more..

31 Aug

One-liners

Susan Davis

1019

One-Liner #1408

Self-Annihilating Descriptions We're home at the usual time, for a change!... read more..

29 Aug

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

677

Cybersalt News - August 29, 2019

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! Today I'd like to share a new project I just launched for a client. It's the "DeHaan on Fire" YouTube channel where I'll be interviewing world famous fire investigator, Dr.... read more..

28 Aug

Quotes

Susan Davis

2917

Quote #1848

"If being hurt by church causes you to lose faith in God, then your faith was in people not in God." - Larry Bluford Jr. read more..

28 Aug

Clean Puns

Susan Davis

1098

Code Consumption

After I drink coffee I like to show the empty mug to the IT guy to tell him that I've successfully installed Java. He hates me.... read more..

28 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

13475

Forgetting Something

A man was on his way home with a new car, which was absorbing all his attention, when it struck him that he had forgotten something. Twice he stopped, counted his parcels, searched his pockets, but f... read more..

28 Aug

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2086

Tips From Cowboys, Everyday Wisdom

~ Never squat with your spurs on! ~ Never kick a fresh cow chip on a hot day. ~ There's two theories to arguin' with a woman.... Neither one works. ~ Don't worry about bitin' off more than you can ... read more..

28 Aug

One-liners

Susan Davis

898

One-Liner #1407

Self-Annihilating Descriptions No one goes there anymore; it's too crowded.... read more..